The Name Change Game

The Name Change Game

June 30th, 2011 @ 5:33 pm by Ms. Gazelle
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Ah the name change game…to change your name or keep your maiden name, that is the question!

Back when I was younger and contemplating the idea of marriage (and well before Mr. Gazelle ever entered the picture) I always figured that I would change my name after getting married. In fact, when I first met Mr. Gazelle I used to think about how my first name fit with his last name. It is quite a pleasing combination, and in fact, I actually know someone who has the same name I would have (however she spells her first name differently).

But here is the thing, I have one unique name when you put it all together. I have never met anyone who spells their first name like mine is spelled. Chances are if you meet anyone with the same last name as me, we are related.

My dad is originally from Finland. The story is that my great-grandfather (I believe) grew up in a part of Finland very close to the Russian border and his last name was very Russian sounding. With parts of Finland being ceded to Russia in the 1940s he decided to change his last name to make it sound more Finnish.

Now really, if you think of any Finnish hockey players chances are their names are not simple (Kiprusoff, Laukkanen, Niittymaki anyone?), but our last name is a simple four letters. I like it. My First Middle Last sound so good together (thanks Mom and Dad!). My grandmother, mom, dad, brother, sister-in-law, niece and I are the only ones that have that last name. Knowing that our last name is very nearly extinct makes me want to keep it.

There is no thought about hyphenating last names or using my maiden name as my middle name and taking his last name. Our two last names do not sound good together. And while Mr. Gazelle thought about perhaps taking my last name, his first name doesn’t sound quite so nice with my last name. So he’ll still be Mr. Gazelle and I’ll get to be Ms. Gazelle. I don’t think that having a different last name will make me feel any less married. And one of the neat things is how awesome my grandmother thinks it is that I’m keeping my maiden name.

Are you keeping your last name? What are your reasons for keeping it or deciding to change it?

Tags: calgary, legal |

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20 Responses to “The Name Change Game”

Member

lisamarieloves (message) 446 posts, Helper bee

I am changing my last name only because I absolutely LOVE my fiance’s last name. I also want to have the same last name as my future children. However, I would keep my current last name if I didn’t like my fiance’s or if I thought it would be professionally beneficial. Good for you for doing want you want. And props to your guy for being okay with it.

6/30/11 @ 5:44 pm (reply)

Member

tayona (message) 50 posts, Worker bee

I’m changing my last name. I love my name, but it isn’t really a family name, so there is no real reason for me to keep it. And I like the idea of having the same last name as my children since I didn’t have the same last name as my parents. Future Husband thinks it sounds funny with my first name, and honestly it does a little, but I’m okay with it.

6/30/11 @ 6:04 pm (reply)

Member

JoshsTammy (message) 199 posts, Blushing bee

I always assumed Id change my name..But more and more as FI is gaining popularity hes in the media i think id rather not be mrs.him..lol as im a very private person…

6/30/11 @ 6:28 pm (reply)

Member

TheFutureMcBride (message) 4,479 posts, Honey bee

I love my maiden name. It wasn’t until almost a year after our marriage that I decided to change my name. In fact, I really did it on a whim. Yes, I miss my old name, but I really love being able to say “Team McBride” and know that both of us are McBrides.

6/30/11 @ 6:36 pm (reply)

Member

xtatic1 (message) 778 posts, Busy bee

My family has all girls, I am the first to marry but chances are after we are all hitched our last name will be no more. It is hard to spell and hard to pronounce by looking at it. I love my fiance’s last name so I can’t wait to change it.

6/30/11 @ 6:56 pm (reply)

Member

linguo42 (message) 3,553 posts, Sugar bee

I kept my last name. It’s the name on my degrees, it sounds perfect with my first name, and it’s very uncommon. DH didn’t care either way.

6/30/11 @ 7:08 pm (reply)

Member

mightywombat (message) 3,311 posts, Sugar bee

I kept mine! It’s just…who I am. I’ve had it for 31 years, I’ve published under it, and I had no interest in changing it. Luckily, my husband was perfectly happy for me to keep my name just the way it’s always been.

6/30/11 @ 7:46 pm (reply)

Member

stargirlmia89 (message) 66 posts, Worker bee

Although not engaged (or close), I’ve thought about it multiple times. I think it would depend on my FH’s name for what I decide. I quite like the route of keeping it officially as my maiden and going socially by his, but I guess I’ll just have to see. Current boyfriend (who I could potentially marry) would prefer a name change, but he understands my thoughts. We’ll just see!

6/30/11 @ 8:55 pm (reply)

Member

madymommy24 (message) 545 posts, Busy bee

I LOVE my last name and most people only know me by my last name. I have gone by it for many years and it is a family name. My dad passed away recently and I love still having his last name.. However, when I do get married I will change my last name. I have a daughter an I really hate having a different last name than her. I will get a new family name… my own new little family. It will be hard, but I have made the decision. I considered hyphonating it but I just think that gets too complicated.

6/30/11 @ 11:04 pm (reply)

10.

Member

ReginaH (message) 31 posts, Newbee

I have decided since I don’t have a middle name my maiden name will become my middle name!

7/1/11 @ 12:01 am (reply)

11.

Member

Fergie (message) 4 posts, Wannabee

I thought long and hard about whether or not to change my name - for the simple reason that I think my last name is awesome Initially, FI said it didn’t matter, but over time, he mentioned that it was important to him for a similar reason as TheFutureMcBride mentions: that it makes us a ‘team’. If he thinks it’s important, I decided maybe I should give it more thought…

FI doesn’t have a middle name, so I suggested that he make my maiden name his middle name and I will add his last name to the end of my full name. It’s long, but it’s a good compromise - our intials will be EFO (FI) and EAFO (me), which I think is kind of cool!

7/1/11 @ 5:14 am (reply)

12.

Guest

violetnotebook

I have always, ALWAYS wanted to hyphenate. I remember being 4 years old and telling my parents that I’d be hyphenating… I’m an only child, and the last one with my maiden name - my dad’s sister and her kids have a different name, of course - and my uncle never had kids.
My maiden name and FI’s name sound AWESOME together… but he won’t have a bar of it. We’ve argued for years about it (seriously, we’ve been engaged 4.5 years) but we finally reached a compromise… I’ll take his name and our kids will have my maiden name as a middle name.
I guess I’m still passing it on, without the drama of having a different surname to everyone else.

7/1/11 @ 7:27 am (reply)

13.

Member

kimbee23 (message) 191 posts, Blushing bee

I am very attached to my family’s name, but I still want to incorporate FI’s last name. We have a son, and he has FI’s last name, and I want to share the same name as my family. I thought about changing my middle name, but it was named after a great-grandmother. So I think I’ve decided that I’m going to have two middle names. It won’t be used on anything formal, but I will know it is still there. I agree with @fergie, it’s a good compromise! So I will become KABP!

7/1/11 @ 8:57 am (reply)

14.

Member

totheislnds (message) 5,361 posts, Bee Keeper

I’m not going to lie, my maiden name is seriously better than my husbands last name - its super Italian and unique and i had never met anyone that wasn’t family who had my last name. My husband has a very very common last name and hyphenating or moving my maiden to a middle would just sound silly. I chose to take my husbands name because i wanted to feel like one, a family, and i knew it was important to him. Luckily I have 2 brothers to pass along my oh so awesome maiden name. getting married, i think i became 1 of hundreds with my name when prior i had only met one person ever with my first and last name, thanks to facebook, she lived in Italy - overall sitting at the social security office i couldnt help but feel a bit sad when i was waiting to get my name changed, i even got a little teary eyed as i drove away. i almost wish i could have broke away from tradition and did it but for me it just didnt feel right.

7/1/11 @ 9:12 am (reply)

15.

Member

kay01 (message) 1,660 posts, Bumble bee

When I was younger I figured I’d change my last name. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve leaned more to keeping mine. It’s on my degrees and a publication or two, I’ve had it for 30+ years and ok, it’s slightly irksome that there always the assumption that women will change names and never the man. (Luckily one of FI’s friends did tease him about changing his, so at least it was brought up.) FI is also not close to his father at all and I am to mine.

Interesting, only FI’s family and friends have asked me what I’ll do - I think my family just assumes I’ll change.

FI doesn’t care and thinks it’d be weird if I did change (most of his friends/colleagues haven’t). The big debate will be over kids names because he *does* want them to share his last name and we don’t like hypenation.

7/1/11 @ 10:55 am (reply)

16.

Member

JenniferG (message) 219 posts, Helper bee

I’m in the same sort of position. I have a really uncommon Polish last name, and a very common first name. I like my fiance’s name just fine, but I would go from being probably the only one with my name to being probably one of many. Plus it’s just part of my identity - I’ve had this name for 34 years. I don’t think I can give it up now.

7/1/11 @ 11:55 am (reply)

17.

Bee

Miss Ladyfingers (message) 1,119 posts, Bumble bee

I never gave it much thought until people started asking whether I would take his name. It had always been a given that I would. For all my attempts at being unique, I’m fairly traditional on that point, and I don’t have many practical reasons for keeping my name. I’m also not terribly attached to my last name - yeah, it was mine for 30 (almost 31) years, but honestly, people used to tease me MEEEEEERRRRRcilessly about it. So I’m fine getting rid of it

I love it when girls make different decisions, though. I love that we can do that now - that it’s something people actually ASK about, where 40, 50 years ago, it wasn’t even a question.

7/1/11 @ 4:45 pm (reply)

18.

Member

weddingstars2012 (message) 430 posts, Helper bee

Yeah my last name is Hungarian Romanianised, as I put it. Thanks to communist Romania, they had to make sure the name sounded Romanian. So it’s 4 letters, 3 of those vowels! I have a younger brother, so I’m just hoping he finds himself a nice woman and has a couple of sons here and there to carry on the name. Because I’m changing mine. Although I’m seriously considering changing my maiden name back to the Hungarian version and making it my middle. In addition, I am going to medical school and I quickly realized my poor last name (which immigrated out to the US when I was 3) will NOT have a “Dr.” in front of it. Humph! So much for the pride of the name coming from a communist country to chase the American dream. And although I considered keeping my maiden name for professional reasons, the fiance wasn’t happy about that idea. Granted, the fact that he proposed BEFORE I started school does give me reason to put a “Dr.” in front of his last name. But still.

7/1/11 @ 5:45 pm (reply)

19.

Guest

Margie

I kept my name and am happy that I did. The only thing… make sure your officiant KNOWS you’re going to keep your name. Ours didn’t and announced us a “Mr and Mrs H.” Although I’ve addressed it with my family, I still get cards from aunts and cousins to “Mrs. H”

7/1/11 @ 7:37 pm (reply)

20.

Member

HappyWanderer (message) 77 posts, Worker bee

I’m gonna change mine in everyday life but list my current name for business and employment purposes, resumes etc. My industry experience and skills are attached to it and I started my business with it. Besides as much as I love my sweetie I’m not crazy about his last name

@Kay01 - no need to hyphenate for your kids give them your husbands last name and when they are old enough to ask tell them the truth

7/2/11 @ 6:16 pm (reply)