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Mrs. Lox, Baltimore Age and Occupation: 33, Government Worker Fiance's Age and Occupation: 35. IT Consultant Engagement Date: May 8, 2010 Wedding Date: May 2011 Venue: Vandiver Inn About Me: I’m an East Coast gal born and bred and a suburban brat turned city rat for the last year. Now Mr. Lox and I enjoy walking all kinds of places, having the coolest things around in our backyard, and especially our garage parking. I love gadgets, toys, Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby ice cream, monkeys, and our insane cats. I’m a blonde by birth and a redhead by choice. I’m that girl in the cubicle farm with all the cool toys and the file cabinet covered in magnetic poetry. I still use smiley faces in my emails, whether people like it or not. This is not the first rodeo for Mr. Lox nor me. And together, we are planning an intimate afternoon wedding on a budget we can afford by ourselves.
About Mrs. Lox

Third Time’s a Charm

July 7th, 2011 @ 8:40 am by Mrs. Lox

Before I start my recaps (no, I haven’t forgotten them!) I want to take a moment to get real with you all. Not that I’ve ever been anything else… but this is something I need to say.

You all know this is my third marriage. As in, I’m already divorced…twice. Right. Third marriage. You all get it.

So here’s the thing. More than once in the past year, I’ve wondered what people must think of me. After all, some of these folks came to my first wedding. And some of the same folks showed up at the open house we had after my second husband and I eloped in St. Lucia. Some of these folks must wonder where I got off having an event for my third wedding.

When it got towards the end, I was all over the place emotionally. And finally I sat down with one of my oldest and dearest friends and told her what I was feeling. It was a good choice I made. What she told me that day still makes me cry. So pardon my tears while I tell you what happened.

My friend told me that it didn’t matter that it was my third wedding. She told me that she, and in fact all of my friends, knew this was different. They’d seen Mr. Lox and I together and they knew that this was where I belonged. That this was the right thing. That this was worth celebrating. And that this was the only one that mattered. They were excited to be by my side at this, my third wedding. Because they knew that this time, I had forever.

Over the next week or so, I checked in with all of my closest girls. My friend was right…they all felt the same way. What Mr. Lox and I have is so real that everyone can see it. And everyone is excited to celebrate that.

So dear hive, I just needed you to know that. You all have been so supportive of me and my third wedding. But I know that sometimes people wonder why encore brides would have another wedding. Not just because of the planning, but in part because we’ve done it before already. And here is my answer.

Because it’s worth celebrating. Because when you find someone this special, the very least you can do is celebrate it. And for someone who has done it before, it takes more courage to commit again than it did the first time. In fact, please take my word for this… it is exponentially harder to commit each time. And because of that I had all but given up on love. I certainly never imagined I’d find this.

But I did. Somehow, through all of the mistakes we’ve made over the years, Mr. Lox and I found each other. And we’re together here and now. And from here on out, all that matters is this. Us. And we are so happy that a wedding is the very smallest way we could celebrate.

My girls were there with me on my day. We got ready together, in fact. And it was everything my first wedding wasn’t. It was perfect. And I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

Now my dears, I promise the next word you hear from me will be my recaps kicking off. I hope you’re ready, because I know I am!

Tags: baltimore, relationships |
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48 Responses to “Third Time’s a Charm”

1 2 3 

1.
kdane
Member
kdane (message)  168 posts, Blushing bee

This is why I adore you. Your honest and heartfelt posts make me feel like I know you. Thank you for sharing this. All of the Encore Brides, we all deserve the celbration that we want and desire regardless of our previous relationships. I refuse to look at my past as a mistake, my pervious actions have made me who I am today. HUGS

 
2.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Candy Apple (message)  1,465 posts, Bumble bee

Yeah, Lox! :) So glad you and the Mr finally found each other.

 
3.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Pony (message)  4,175 posts, Honey bee

So beautiful, Lox. And your friends are 100% correct, you deserve to celebrate when you’ve found your forever (and I’m so happy you did and now we get to see recaps :) ) You two have a beautiful future ahead of you!

 
4.
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Bee
Mrs. Prairie Dog (message)  400 posts, Helper bee

you are such a dollbaby & i’m so happy you found your true love.

random question. IF your girlfriends had known- had felt deep in their guts- that your first wedded relationship was all wrong…(the way they know that you + mr. l is so RIGHT)…would you have wanted to know that?

 
5.
Sunlavender
Member
Sunlavender (message)  553 posts, Busy bee

I can’t wait to hear about your special day. I’ve loved hearing about your journey (3rd time or not). Your honesty and humor always shine through your posts and I’m excited to hear about the wedding itself.

 
6.
Miss Winter
Member
Miss Winter (message)  260 posts, Helper bee

Aw Mrs. Lox, we have nothing but love for you! You have some amazing girlfriends!

 
7.
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Bee
Mrs. Lox (message)  1,128 posts, Bumble bee

@Mrs. Prairie Dog: This one’s a toughie right? So the thing is, my friends did know for at least one of the past marriages that I was making a wrong decision. They tried to tell me once, and only once. If I was receptive, they would have helped me find my way out of the situation. I wasn’t (I’m bone-headed really), so they did the only thing wonderful friends can ever do… supported me right through my mistake and out the other end. But I appreciate that they knew and tried to warn me. I also appreciated that they had my back whether they agreed with me or not.

 
8.
TheFutureMcBride
Member
TheFutureMcBride (message)  4,484 posts, Honey bee

Thank you! No, I’m not an encore bride, but my parents are both getting married for the fourth time this year. I could never put my finger on why I’m not okay with their marriages, but now, I see it. It’s because they haven’t found the person they’re meant to be with yet and they’re just rushing into something (separately, not together. I’d be even angrier if they married each other) because it feels comfortable. So thank you. And congrats on finding your forever with Mr. Lox.

 
9.
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Bee
Mrs. Prairie Dog (message)  400 posts, Helper bee

@Mrs. Lox: i love that response. thank you for sharing it with me!

 
10.
blu77
Member
blu77 (message)  1,044 posts, Bumble bee

Beautifully written. Congrats to you & your meant-to-be :)

 
11.
Mrs. Bunting
Bee
Mrs. Bunting (message)  458 posts, Helper bee

Simply put, this is a beautiful post. I’m not an encore bride, but I do have a friend who has divorced and then found her true love. As a bystander, it’s exactly as how your friends described it to you: different and clearly special. When they’re together, you can just see that they were meant for each other. Now I know how to picture you and Mr. Lox!

While my friend isn’t engaged yet, I know it will only be a matter of time. She’s hesitant about having a large second wedding, but now I’m going to tell her exactly what your friends told you, because they are absolutely right. A love like that is worth celebrating. And I’m so glad you got to celebrate yours, Lox!

 
12.
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Bee
Mrs. Hyena (message)  1,882 posts, Buzzing bee

Beautiful post Loxy. I’m so happy for you, and am glad you had the chance to celebrate such a beautiful love. :)

 
13.
Ryna
Member
Ryna (message)  4,207 posts, Honey bee

This is the second time around for me and my Fi. We’ve both been divorced before (no, not to each other :P).
I agree 100% that it’s harder to trust the second (or more) time around. Of course, I also have a friend who’s been married twice before and this is his third relationship and everyone’s onboard for this eventual marriage (yep, they’ve talked about it and are just waiting on a few things to work out…).
Some people are luck to find their perfect mate straight off the bat, others have to keep looking and go through hell and back again (sometimes a few times) before finding their soul mate.
Sooooo glad you finally found Mr. Lox and that your friends were there to share the day and celebration with you!

 
14.
futuremrsmaista
Member
futuremrsmaista (message)  776 posts, Busy bee

Sweet Lord, Mrs. Lox, I just read this and almost burst into tears. We are in the same boat! I’m 30 and about the wed for the third time (and also a govt worker!). Third time IS the charm! I have often wondered, while looking at our guest list, the things people think about me. I wonder if they’re going to show up to our wedding….if they’re thinking we’re doomed to fail….if they think something is wrong with me…etc, etc. Unfortunately for me, I don’t have too many people that are supportive like your friends are. But I’m so glad that you have the love and support you and your hubby have! Congrats!!!

 
15.
Mrs. Cardigan
Bee
Mrs. Cardigan (message)  8,645 posts, Bee Keeper

What a beautiful post. I’m so happy for you!

 
16.
thirdtimebride
Member
thirdtimebride (message)  356 posts, Helper bee

Amen and applause and hugs! I know exactly how you feel/felt!

I had to work through all those thoughts, myself, recently but finally made the decision to open up to the idea of a 3rd shot at marriage. We’re still incognito right now and I’m a little worried that some folks might be less than ecstatic when we tell them (namely family) but I know it’s worth celebrating. Every start (even the 3rd) deserves a good send-off!

Can’t wait to read your recaps!

 
17.
Shosha1
Member
Shosha1 (message)  1,099 posts, Bumble bee

I have to agree with everyone else. This is such a beautiful post, and like Kdane said, your honest posts make me feel like I know you. I’m so happy for you that you’ve found your forever love.

 
18.
mrsbowieii
Member
mrsbowieii (message)  693 posts, Busy bee

Oh I love this post and I’m proud to have shared in the journey. Can’t wait for recaps. :-)

 
19.
Member Icon
Member
miss.qwerty (message)  897 posts, Busy bee

This is a great post. I’m so glad that you and Mr. Lox found your forever love and that you did celebrate that - because it is so worth celebrating. Hurray, too, for amazing friends. Glad to hear they were there to share in the joy.

 
20.
Member Icon
Member
firebugj16 (message)  101 posts, Blushing bee

I’m so happy you found your forever someone!

 
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Mrs. Lox
Mrs. Lox

Mrs. Lox, Baltimore Age and Occupation: 33, Government Worker Fiance's Age and Occupation: 35. IT Consultant Engagement Date: May 8, 2010 Wedding Date: May 2011 Venue: Vandiver Inn About Me: I’m an East Coast gal born and bred and a suburban brat turned city rat for the last year. Now Mr. Lox and I enjoy walking all kinds of places, having the coolest things around in our backyard, and especially our garage parking. I love gadgets, toys, Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby ice cream, monkeys, and our insane cats. I’m a blonde by birth and a redhead by choice. I’m that girl in the cubicle farm with all the cool toys and the file cabinet covered in magnetic poetry. I still use smiley faces in my emails, whether people like it or not. This is not the first rodeo for Mr. Lox nor me. And together, we are planning an intimate afternoon wedding on a budget we can afford by ourselves.

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