Wedding Regrets

Wedding Regrets

July 14th, 2011 @ 3:18 pm by Mrs. Turtle
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Illustration by Flickr user The Fabled Needle

I’ve found that a year into our marriage, the question I get asked most often, with the exception of “How’s married life?” and “When are you guys going to have kids?” is “Do you have any wedding regrets?”

Pondering this has got me thinking not only about wedding regrets, but also about the concept of regret in general.

To be completely honest, there have been moments in the past year, when looking back on our wedding day, in which I have found myself regretting my choice of dress, shoes, florist, and not hiring a videographer. There are a few people I wish we would have invited, and a few I wish we hadn’t.

After a lot of thought about this, the ultimate realization I have arrived at is that at that point in time, on July 10, 2010, our wedding was exactly what I wanted. So how can I possibly let myself regret anything about it? As we grow up, we change. (Duh.) So of course the wedding I planned when I was twenty-one wouldn’t be the same as the one I would plan if I’d waited to get married until thirty. (There are already things I’d do differently at twenty-two!) I’m sure many of the women who got married in the 1980s look back at their photos and feel like if they could have a do-over, they’d lose the hat and puffy sleeves. But growing up, you have to admit that your favorite part of your parents’ wedding photos is how they look so eighties, (or seventies!) Someday our kids will probably look back on our wedding photos and laugh about how they’re so2010. And I can guarantee you that I’ll find that quite funny.

In summary, I’ll never forget how overwhelmed with joy and love I felt on our wedding day. So do I have any wedding regrets? No, absolutely not! And my best advice for planning a wedding that you won’t regret? With every decision you make, be true to yourself. (And tell your future self that regrets are not an option.)

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13 Responses to “Wedding Regrets”

Member

TheFutureMcBride (message) 4,479 posts, Honey bee

So true. The only regret I have is hiring an officiant who was 45 minutes late to the wedding. Everything else was perfect, even the imperfections because everyone there loves us.

7/14/11 @ 3:29 pm (reply)

Member

Leprechaun (message) 907 posts, Busy bee

We’re only 3 months out, but I wish I had splurged on a better videographer. I went with a cheap one just to have the ceremony on tape, and what we got truly was not worth even what we paid. And lately I’ve been planning in my head a whole alternate wedding, in my hometown instead of college town, different season, etc.

But I also want to say that I loved your flowers, and printed out every picture you posted of them to give to my florist as inspiration! They were one of my favorite parts of your day!

7/14/11 @ 4:10 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Brooch (message) 1,721 posts, Bumble bee

I LOVE this post! It’s right on time You are awesome and amazing, thank you for this reminder

7/14/11 @ 4:16 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Penguin (message) 3,506 posts, Sugar bee

Love this post

7/14/11 @ 4:48 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Eggs Benedict (message) 339 posts, Helper bee

Love this. And I feel very similar!

7/14/11 @ 4:53 pm (reply)

Member

zippitydoodah (message) 154 posts, Blushing bee

That’s a great way of putting it! I’m a teacher but I can’t find a teaching job (it’s super competitive in Ontario), and I’ve had a lot of people suggest little teacher-y touches to add to wedding… but I just don’t “FEEL” like a teacher yet. I mean, I work at Starbucks! We also couldn’t decided whether to include our pup in our engagement photos since we were told not to since “he won’t be around forever or be your only dog”. Our photographer had the best advice, reminding us that our wedding should reflect who we are NOW… the jobs we have now and what is important to us now (like our puppy). It’s really helped me to be more decisive, since I’m not worrying about what I’ll think about things 10 years from now!

7/14/11 @ 4:59 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Doily (message) 637 posts, Busy bee

Thank you for this post, even though I’m still a Miss, it reminds me to keep things in perspective!

7/14/11 @ 5:25 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Pain au Chocolat (message) 1,698 posts, Bumble bee

Great advice! No regrets here, miraculously.

7/14/11 @ 8:12 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Turtle (message) 782 posts, Busy bee

@TheFutureMcBride: Wow! I don’t know if I’ve ever heard a late officiant story! Especially not that late!
@Leprechaun: As time goes by, I hope you regret your videographer choice less. We didn’t hire one because I already felt like we were spending a lot on the wedding, and none of the family weddings I looked up to (my parents’, my grandparents’, etc.) have video. Good photographs are classic, they’re what’s past down from generation to generation. (The only reason I ever regret not hiring one is that I’d love to be able to hear our ceremony and toasts again. But I’d be happy to have just a random guest’s tape!)
@Mrs. Brooch: Thanks, Brooch! Don’t regret anything about your wedding! It was perfect for you!
@Mrs. Penguin: Is it nerdy to admit that I still get really excited when you comment on one of my posts?
@zippitydoodah: That’s some great advice! Not only a good way to approach weddings, but just life in general. We all need to focus less on the future, and live more in the present!

7/14/11 @ 9:15 pm (reply)

10.

Bee

Miss Ladyfingers (message) 1,119 posts, Bumble bee

Thanks for this

7/14/11 @ 10:15 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Mrs. Tartlet (message) 3,207 posts, Sugar bee

Perfect post. Glad that you have no wedding regrets!

7/14/11 @ 11:05 pm (reply)

12.

Member

discgirl (message) 200 posts, Helper bee

Thanks for the reminder!

7/15/11 @ 4:17 am (reply)

13.

Member

blanket (message) 206 posts, Helper bee

Thank you for this post Mrs. Turtle. My wedding was a couple months ago, and the more I think about it, the more I find things that I would do differently. It’s getting to the point where I’m exhausted of being so hard on myself. But when I think about it, it’s just like you said. I too had a perfect, wonderfull day of which, at the moment, I didn’t need nor want to change anything. Even though there were little things I could have changed right then and there, I still thought they didn’t matter at the moment. Until they did. I think it’s best to remember what one felt on that day and what it really meant, and leave it at that. For what it’s worth, what I loved most about your wedding were precisely your dress, shoes, and flowers. Go figure! Thanks again for sharing, I really needed this.

7/16/11 @ 12:24 am (reply)