Weddingbee Blog

After our declarations of intent, Mr. Tartlet gave my hands a squeeze and delivered the personal vows he had composed in the weeks prior to our marriage:

“Every single day with you is special, because it gives me another chance to learn from your kindness, your empathy and selflessness. I look forward to the rest of our lives together, to wake up next to you knowing that I’m fortunate enough to come home to you. I look forward to the late night bubble tea runs…”

{Photo by Aruna B. Photography}

“…our movie marathons, learning new things and discovering new places with you. I give myself to you completely; my whole heart and soul for the rest of our lives. As I once wrote to you on our one year anniversary: should you fall down, I will always be there to carry you, should you ever feel alone, I will always be there to hold your hand.”

This promise from Mr. Tartlet dated back to May 2005 when we celebrated our first dating anniversary, and was penciled on a sketch that he had drawn of Dunnottar Castle, a place I hold near and dear to my heart from my time abroad in Scotland.

On paper I went overseas to immerse myself in a different culture and expand my horizons, but in truth the driving force behind my journey was to run away from the pain and embarrassment of being in series of volatile, unhealthy relationships during my first two years of college. I had my first moments of clarity in years while standing on the cliffs where the ruins of the castle lie: the penetrating wind and icy spray kicked up from the North Sea chilled me to the bone, but I felt alive. I took a deep breath, sucking in air so cold that my lungs hurt, and when I exhaled I knew I was ready to let go of the past and tackle the difficult journey of rebuilding myself. Mr. Tartlet drew a scene he knew I would frequently visit in my head whenever the nightmares or depression hit, but added these words as a promise that I no longer had to go it alone. Hearing these words out loud was incredibly powerful and left me trembling.

In fact, when it came time for me to say my vows, I lost all sense of propriety and blurted out: “Oh, crap.” And promptly giggled like a mischievous five year-old.

I took a deep breath to steady myself, looked squarely into Mr. Tartlet’s eyes and smiled the entire time I recited the vows I had written and committed to memory: “It’s been almost seven years since we stood in the hallway of our undergraduate dorm—much like we’re standing now—and contemplated whether we were ready to begin a relationship. Not a day goes by when I’m not thankful that we took that chance with each other.”

“I fell in love your honesty and gentle, quiet nature—and your killer looks didn’t hurt, either. I admire your intelligence, perseverance, and ability to maintain a positive outlook on life no matter what gets thrown at you. I respect our differences, although they are many…”

Oh, so many.

“…and I promise to be faithful and honest with you, to believe in you, to give you my love and moreover to give you my trust. I take you to be my partner in adventure and adversity, and I can’t wait to see what life has in store for us because I know together we can accomplish so much more than we could alone.”

Reverend Tuttle took the helm again, and briefly spoke of the significance of the ring exchange.

“The ring finger of the left hand, the side of the body that holds the heart, has been used for the wedding band because for centuries people believed that there was a vein that ran directly from the finger to the heart. They also believed that the words spoken during the placing of the wedding band—a symbol of promise, completion, and eternity—would resonate over and over again, like the circumference of the band itself, through to the heart and soul of both giver and the receiver of that most monumental of all promises: the promise of a lifetime as husband and wife. Peter, please place this ring on Holly’s hand, and repeat after me.”

Holly, please accept this ring as a symbol of my commitment that whatever lies ahead, good or bad, we will face together. Distance may test us for a time, and time may try us. But, if we look to each other first, we will always see a friend. Look to me for all the days to come; today I take my place as your loving husband.

“Holly, will you now place the ring on Peter’s finger and repeat after me?”

Peter, please accept this ring as a symbol of my commitment that whatever lies ahead, good or bad, we will face together. Distance may test us for a time, and time may try us. But, if we look to each other first, we will always see a friend. Look to me for all the days to come; today I take my place as your loving wife.

At this point in the ceremony, we were supposed to cross hands with our left hands remaining on top in order for Reverend Tuttle to bless our rings. I had trouble with this during our rehearsal, and my lack of spacial orientation was unchanged at the actual ceremony.

I love my sister’s expression in the background; it’s the classic “yep, that’s my baby sister” look

Eventually, though, I got it right and Reverend Tuttle continued with a blessing for our rings and for the union they represented.

“Holly and Peter, with this ring you gave your promise that from this day forward you shall not walk alone. May your hearts be your shelter and may your arms be each others home. May God bless you always, and may you walk together through all things. I pray that you both feel deeply loved, as I know indeed you are, and I ask that you feel this joy forever as we thank God that you have each other!”

“My marriage prayer for the couple today is this: I pray that Holly and Peter will always remember the qualities that attracted them to each other when they first met, and that they also remember how they felt as those feelings of attraction turned into respect, admiration, and finally–love. I pray that Holly and Peter will always work hard to keep those feelings they have now by turning them into acts of love so that nothing and no one can ever pide them. I pray that Holly and Peter will always have kind and loving hearts that are quick to ask for forgiveness when they are wrong as well as be quick to forgive when the other is wrong. I pray that Holly and Peter’s love might grow to hear all things, believe all things, hope for all things, and endure all things. I pray that their love increases and overflows beyond anything they can ever imagine.

And now, Holly and Peter, it is at this time that I state that you are now as your hearts have always known you to be at this time, and that is ’husband and wife.’ Peter, you may kiss your bride!”

And with that, my friends, we were married at last.

*Unless specified, all photos by Aruna B. Photography

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