Weddingbee Blog

If you type “marriage proposal” into a Google search, you’ll get back more that 5.5 million hits. And if you are a girl that really wants to get hitched, waiting tests even the strongest willpower.

I am embarrassed to admit it, but I was that girl. Starting to feel more than a little impatient, did I just need to go ahead with it myself already?!

Image via bisprad.blogspot.com / The Proposal movie poster

OK, maybe that’s crazy talk. But, c’mon. I had picked out the ring already. Then again, we agreed it would happen by the end of the year and it was only…August. Ugh.

Image via icanhascheezburger.com

Up to this point, you must be thinking that our story seems fairly typical of an impending proposal. Except our marriage plans required us to factor in one very small complication—a major surgery that Mr. Hot Tea was facing, pun completely intended. You may have noticed in photos I’ve shared of Mr. HT that his face droops a bit on one side and his right eye is larger than his left.

Post-surgery / * personal photo *

It took six years and as many doctors to diagnose Mr. HT with a very rare condition where a small benign tumor was growing in his auditory canal. It caused incremental paralysis on the right side of his face, and the best treatment required a craniotomy and potential severing of his facial nerve.

Blue ink indicates the location of Mr. HT’s tumor. / * personal image *

Thankfully the tumor wasn’t life threatening, and Mr. HT could wait a month or even a decade to go in for surgery. I preferred to delay it until after our wedding to be “wife” instead of “girlfriend.” These thoughts came over as a residual from my military days where a non-spouse held no validity as a partner. I also felt I could provide continual care as his wife using the Family Medical Leave Act if necessary.

The more he thought about it, Mr. HT wanted that sucker out of his head sooner rather than later. I felt torn. What if…what if…what if?

I decided that his health and want to take care of it trumped planning a wedding, so I declared a moratorium on marriage talk until after the surgery. The whole ordeal stressed me out, and I couldn’t process both life events simultaneously.

I’m very lucky that Mr. HT disagreed with my plan. He’d had the ring for a month already and was trying to decide how best to propose. Let’s cue some music to set the stage:

Video via YouTube / Artist Rhett Miller

Someday somebody’s gonna ask you

A question that you should say yes to

Once in your life

Maybe tonight

I’ve got a question for you

It was early on a Friday morning. Feeling melancholy, I woke Mr. HT to tell him that I loved him and wanted to marry him more than any other want in the world. I would wait as long as it took to get through the surgery and back to our normal, and I wanted him to be my husband and father to our children regardless of this health hiccup in our plans.

Not knowing that he had the ring all this time, he suggested we go for a walk on the beach. “Now?!” I said, surprised. Mr. HT rarely went for early morning walks with me. We got dressed in sweats and ventured the short walk to our local beach. I didn’t register it at the time, but he chose to wear the same clothes as our first-date beach walk.

It was foggy and quiet at 7 AM on that fall morning. No one was around except for a flock of seagulls. We walked silently hand in hand for about half a mile when Mr. HT gently held me in a hug and positioned me to face the ocean.

Then he got down on one knee. What?! Is this really happening? Right now?! After all this time waiting for and anticipating this very moment, oh crap. Am I ready for this?

With tears in his eyes, he told me how much he loved me. That he wasn’t perfect and he had his flaws, and still he wanted to know if I would spend the rest of my life with him.

I started laughing and crying at the same time—happy tears! My eyes flutter when I’m nervous, and Mr. HT thought I was going to pass out. He asked me if I was OK. I nodded and said yes! If I could write it in the sky I would—YES!

Image via www.zawaj.com

We didn’t have a camera with us that morning to capture a photo. But the proposal is burned into my memory, and perhaps that’s where it’s best kept for me.

I’ll still have to tell you how we shared the news with our families and celebrated together that night at a fancy schmancy restaurant. For now, here’s a photo of me and my pretty ring near the spot where Mr. HT proposed.

* personal photo *

And now I’d like to know in what ways your engagement was similar or different to ours. Did you have a long waiting period? When your beloved proposed, was it just the two of you? Or did it include family, friends, or maybe a more public display of affection?