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Marriage equality is an *extremely* important topic for the Ferris Wheels. In fact, our marriage talks began back when California legalized marriage for same sex couples because, at the time, we were a same sex couple. We knew we wanted to get married, but we were both still students and the timing just wasn’t right for us yet. Unless you’ve been in this situation, it’s impossible to explain what it feels like to consider rushing to get married because you’re afraid you’ll never again have the opportunity to legalize your union with the person you love. In the end we decided to wait until we were ready, even if it meant that our relationship wouldn’t be legitimized by state and federal governments.
Unlike most other queer couples, we’re now able to access the institution of marriage because of Mr. FW’s gender change. We wrestled with the politics of our decision to get married, and we remain steadfast in our belief that all loving and committed couples deserve to be treated equally in the eyes of the law. We will openly talk about this belief during our marriage ceremony and we wanted to give our guests a way to visibly show their support of marriage equality as well. Enter white knots for marriage equality.
In our ceremony program we plan to include a page with the white knots and a description of their meaning.
Compared to how much this issue means to us personally, the supplies to make these were ridiculously affordable. We bought everything on eBay—10 yards of 3/8″ white grosgrain ribbon, 100 tiny plastic bags, and 144 small safety pins for a total cost of $11.60. The process of making them was equally as simple.
We hope that by including these knots right in the ceremony program people will have ample time to read the information, make a decision for themselves about whether or not to wear them throughout the rest of the night, and maybe even have conversations about the fact that we included them in the first place. And really, that’s what it’s all about.
How are you incorporating your own beliefs (cultural, political, personal, or otherwise) into your wedding day?
I refuse to support this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wont wear this ribbon if you PAID me a million dollars…sorry but this is an equal site and I will leave my opinion. I am against gay marriage. And I wont talk about the rights that gays have been denied , it should be that way! I will be talking about how they shouldn’t have equal rights…I didn’t say anything hurtful but I feel just as strong as you do and my voice is now heard. you asked an I answered all fair and square !
Wonderful idea. So simple also!
Your post has some people ‘fit-to-be-tied’!!
Really cool idea. Thank you for sharing! We’re in California and I was wanting something on our programs to show our disdain with our state’s Prop. 8. This may be just the thing.
Fantastic idea! Love is love. It’s amazing to me how many people are opposed to gay marriage…like straight people are really doing a great job with it?
Fantastic idea! Love is love. It’s amazing to me how many people are opposed to gay marriage…like straight people are really doing a great job with it?
Fantastic idea! Love is love. It’s amazing to me how many people are opposed to gay marriage…like straight people are really doing a great job with it?
and Bliss…if you think you didn’t say anything hurtful right there, you’ve got a lot of work to do on yourself.
Love this idea, Ferris Wheel! I have to say, I somehow missed your “Putting It Out There” post, so I had to go back and re-read your posts to find what I had missed. I am now officially caught back up… carry on.
I think this is a fantastic idea and so appropriate for your wedding!
bLiss, if you truly think you didn’t say anything hurtful right there….whoo, girl- you gotta lotta work to do on yourself!
Great idea. I love it.
bLISSFLbRDE: May I ask why you are so brash and defensive when you state your opinions? No one was attacking you and you were quite offensive here…
What a great idea! I hope that you bring some awareness to people and that this idea gets passed on to others.
Right on!
We’ll be incorporating a reading from Goodridge vs. the Massachusetts Department of Public Health (http://www.boston.com/news/daily/18/sjc_gaymarriage_decision.pdf) in our ceremony. Here’s a snippet: “Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support; it brings stability to our society. For those who choose to marry, … marriage provides an abundance of legal, financial, and social benefits. In return it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations. …”
And bLISSFLbRDE, saying that people don’t deserve equal rights–whether because of their gender, religion, race or sexual orientation–is hurtful, plain and simple.
@bLISSFLbRDE: She actually didn’t ask if you supported it. Her question was what you’re doing to show your beliefs. What ARE you doing? Beyond that, you’re telling her that she doesn’t have the right to marry the person she loves. That IS offensive, no matter what you think. To be nice, take this elsewhere. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
@bLISSFLbRDE: She actually didn’t ask if you supported it. Her question was what you’re doing to show your beliefs. What ARE you doing? Beyond that, you’re telling her that she doesn’t have the right to marry the person she loves. That IS offensive, no matter what you think. To be nice, take this elsewhere. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
I love this idea! I think it’s so great that you’re incorporating values that are important to you into your wedding. A really beautiful thing about living in America is that you don’t actually need anyone’s support to be in love 
Although it would be really great if people would realize that civil rights ought to be extended to everyone, and that continued inequality is by its nature hurtful. I’ll never understand those who oppose it; as Jon Stewart once said, “They do realize it won’t be MANDATORY, right?”
I love it! This is such a cool idea. And also, I love your story
Love this idea!!! I had the choice between getting married in Massachusetts (where everyone can legally marry, whoo!!) or RI (no equality rights) and choose MA solely for the reason that I don’t want to get married in a state that won’t let two people in love marry.
@Miss Fish: Reminds me of one of my favorite moments on Colbert Report when he was discussing gay marriage and said “What’s going to keep a gay guy from sneaking into my house while I’m asleep and gay marrying me??”
I think this is a great idea. Perhaps if I get married before it is legal for everyone to do so, I’ll wear a white knot to show my support and love for those waiting to do the same.
You guys are right !!! I was hurtful and I am sorry 
But i still believe what I believe!!!!!
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Ms. Ferris Wheel, San Francisco Age and Occupation: 29, Psychologist Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Psychologist Engagement Date: May 23 and 28, 2010 (one for each of us!) Wedding Date: November 2011 Venue: Parc55 Hotel (city lights ceremony, ballroom reception) About Me: Born in the Southeast, educated in the Northeast, and over-educated on the West Coast, I finally earned my city-girl credentials and have put down roots in gorgeous San Francisco. I’m a raging perfectionist with a lightning quick wit and a terrible sense of both time and direction. Our wedding task list is endlessly growing because of my predilection to think that DIY projects I can make = DIY projects I should make (so not true!). I always go to bed wishing there were more hours in the day to enjoy all the things I adore, whether that be hobbies, friends, my career, our two dogs, or Mr. Ferris Wheel. Ours is a story of a non-traditional couple living an oddly traditional life planning a not-so-traditional wedding in this city we adore. Together we are bustin’ out all of our best skills (and some of our worst ones) to plan a laid-back-chic DIY-craftastic love-alicious affair!
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