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Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FL Age and Occupation: 30, Marketing Manager Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports Writer Engagement Date: December 24, 2010 Wedding Date: November 2011 Venue: Palma Sola Botanical Park About Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!
About Mrs. Ladyfingers

So we’re almost at 100 days—a huge landmark, no?—and solidly planted in the midst of what I like to call Invitation Aggravation.

Aggravation Station—or, How I’ve Moved into a Whole New Phase of Nightmare Fodder :  wedding invitations saint petersburg Aggravation aggravation

Like this, only less fun, and more competitive / Image via VintageToys.com


I’m not even clear why I’ve started having legit invitation aggravation. Our invites are not overly complicated. We didn’t design them ourselves or print them out ourselves. I did some things to adorn them and make them look more handcrafted and “special,” but nothing really out there. This should be simple as pie—wrap ‘em up, stuff ‘em in, seal ‘em up, send ‘em off.

Yet I’m in total paralyzed panic mode.

Maybe it’s because we’re sending our first batch out in approximately three weeks and I haven’t addressed one envelope. I’m doing this by hand, mind you. I even bought some fancy calligraphy pens and practiced my big-girl handwriting. But I did that, like, three months ago. And frankly I’m worried that I’ll have lost my touch on the style of “M” I settled on. (There are lots of Ms on these suckers if you’re going for traditional addressing style, which we are.) Yet I can’t motivate myself. It seems like I have so little time, and when I get home at eight or nine I just want to lie on the couch and hope for an early bedtime. Boo, laziness.

Maybe it’s because I ran into a snag with our belly-band idea, in which the ribbon belly band stays just fine around the invite without slipping down but is too loose to really contain the RSVP card, so when you pick the packet up by the invite rather than the belly band, the RSVP card falls right out. Not the end of the world, and Mr. LF tells me it’s no big thang. But for Miss Perfectionist Pants, THIS JUST WILL NOT DO.

Aggravation Station—or, How I’ve Moved into a Whole New Phase of Nightmare Fodder :  wedding invitations saint petersburg Laziness laziness

Image via some e cards

Or maybe it’s because it’s the first real Big Thing I Can Mess Up. Until now, it’s been all shopping and dreaming. We’ve written some checks. I’ve had a couple of successful DIYs. But the invitations? I mean, I can do some serious damage here.

My nightmares are, in this order:

  1. Forgetting to put postage on the RSVP card. This is pretty self-explanatory. I’m scared that in the burgeoning onslaught of Things to Do, I’ll find victory with the belly band and stuff everything in there and write prettily and seal them and…ACK! Either I’ll realize at that moment what I’ve done, or send them off that way. Super lame.
  2. Not putting enough postage on the envelopes. I absolutely plan to bring a copy of the invite all wrapped and packed to the post office and have them weigh it in front of me and tell me how many stamps we need. But then I’m all, “But what if that clerk gives me one number, and then the clerk who processes them comes up with a different one—I’VE HEARD OF IT HAPPENING—and they don’t send our invites?” I heard of one couple who accidentally shortchanged their envelope by a couple cents, and the post office delivered them but asked each recipient to pony up the remainder before handing it over. They made light of it by putting a stamp in that denomination at each place setting at the reception, but still—OMGsters.
  3. The RSVP postcards will be destroyed in the mail. There will be a thunderstorm flood situation, or a misanthropic mailman, or a dog attack, and the RSVP postcards will be rendered useless. All of them, from 50 different homes. At once. This is an unrealistic worry at best, but still. I collect worries like I collect nail polish.

The advice I’ve gotten: Mail one to yourself, and relax. I like this advice. Still, I’m not quite sure what this “relax” is that you speak of. Is it a new type of ice cream sundae? Because I’ll take two.

Were the invitations as nerve wracking an experience for you as they are for us right now? Is most of my panic simply due to the fact that I won’t get off my bum and just do this thing? Do you have any awesome advice for getting through this period of the planning process unscathed…well, with those around you unscathed, at least?

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20 Responses to “Aggravation Station—or, How I’ve Moved into a Whole New Phase of Nightmare Fodder”

1.
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Irish_in_Oxford (message)  42 posts, Newbee

Miss Lady Fingers, this post made me laugh!
Those nightmares sound exactly like the ones that I would have and I know that I would procrastinate too. Except that I know me well enough to know that the longer I left them aside the less likely I would be to do anything with them at all, and they’d look at me reproachfully for weeks and then… *getting hysterical now*….AND THEN IT WOULD BE TWO WEEKS BEFORE THE WEDDING AND THEY’D STILL BE ON MY DINING ROOM TABLE AND NOT A SINGLE ONE WOULD BE SENT AND NO ONE WOULD COME TO OUR WEDDING…ARRRRRGGGGHHHH….

*gets a grip of self*. totally freaked out now, I think I need to lie down. Do the invitations, you’ll feel better for it, and you won’t mess up.

 
2.
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philabride2bee (message)  316 posts, Helper bee

Great post! You’ve just gotta suck it up and start though - I would address a few each night and it took a few weeks! Also I started my addressing with people I thought would be least likely to notice imperfect calligraphy, lol.

Finally, could you put Mr. Ladyfingers in charge of stamping the RSVPs? I looked for little jobs like that for FI…

 
3.
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Bee
Miss Cannon (message)  457 posts, Helper bee

Ugh, invitations are what I wanted to be a quick project but keep lagging on forever. I can’t wait to throw them in the mail and be done.

 
4.
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Guest
Mimi

Just get them out. We are as OCD as they come, and when faced with a mountain of 80 invitations we just decided that good enough really WAS good enough. If someone inspects the invitation and notices that the embossing powder on one corner wasn’t fully melted… really, they have bigger problems than I do.

Also, do you have a food scale? I bought one for baking for about $20 at Target - but I also used it to weigh my invitations. The ones with two cards inside (for out-of-towners) weighed 0.8 oz, so I was pretty confident that I was paying the correct postage!

 
5.
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Bee
Miss High Wire (message)  759 posts, Busy bee

You know it seems like all of us bees are struggling with invites right now. I pre-stamped ALL of our envelopes and RSVP return envelopes. Then we realized we wouldn’t need that many so now we have a ton of stamped envelopes and nowhere to send them to. I’ve decided the whole invitations process is horrid.

 
6.
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Miss Parasol (message)  2,142 posts, Buzzing bee

You are not alone, Ladyfingers! Invitations have been the bane of my existence for far too long. Ugh!

 
7.
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kristophine (message)  302 posts, Helper bee

Re: postage differences–get it weighed twice, by two different clerks. If you get the same number, go with that. If one number is higher, have it done a third time somewhere else and use the highest one.

Re: putting postage on the RSVP cards–just do it. Do it now, do it to all of them at the same time, then flip back through them and check to make sure you didn’t miss any.

Unfortunately, the fear of catastrophic mail failure is harder to work with.

–Signed, person with for-realsies OCD who compensates pretty ok in terms of functioning in society.

 
8.
Charcole2011
Member
Charcole2011 (message)  298 posts, Helper bee

OMG, I hear you. I am currently having many of the same nightmares. Ours should be going out Monday, assuming all goes well - yikes!

 
9.
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kmnowlan (message)  160 posts, Blushing bee

I promise it will be ok! Just get started and before you know it, it’ll be done.

Also, no matter what its going to work itself out. I had mine weighed, sent 4 to different people who received them, and therefore sent the rest out. Well lo and behold, we got between 10-15 back saying insufficient postage. And I know of 1 person (with a PO Box) who was asked to pay the 20 cent difference. It is ridiculous that the standard system isn’t consistent across all us post office, but in the end everything worked out. We threw some extra stamps on the envelopes (thankfully, they were clear so the insufficient fund stamp was stamped onto a post it note versus the envelope it self!) and resent them. Yes there was a lot of stress, but it ended up being ok. From someone who has survived the worst of the invitation horror stories, believe me, it’ll work itself out!

Good luck!

 
10.
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Bee
Miss Pony (message)  4,175 posts, Honey bee

Invitations were my arch nemesis for a couple of weeks. I have so much resentment for them it’s hard to get happy when I see our RSVP cards in the mail. I hope your invitation journey fairs better than mine.

 
11.
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Guest
carolyn72

I think this is where my happiness turned into “whatever the heck it is that I feel now”. I reveled over the STD’s when they came, sent them out in a quick heart beat! Was ectstatic!
But when the real invitations came, I was frozen, and did save some of the calligraphy for the first few guests (gave up on the calligraphy after that). I did a few a day, and just kept on like that till I felt I was done. I still am not sure if I am done, but it’s pretty much too late now. I do look forward to the RSVPs and can’t wait to get this “marriage” thingie over with, LOL>>>>>

 
12.
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DuckyLeigh (message)  32 posts, Newbee

I had all the same worries you did too! The topper for me though was when I finally finished them and drove to the post office on a Sunday morning (it’s a good 15 minutes out of my daily route so I waited until the weekend) and chunked them in the big thing outside. Not 30 minutes later did a freak, very heavy and windy thunderstorm move through (the first rain in over a month, yay Texas) and I was bawling because I was convinced they were going to get wet and ruined somehow. But they all arrived safely! (With the exception of one guest who moved and didn’t tell us, garrr….)

Just be smart about how you organize yourself and don’t let the “bridal anxiety” get to you! It will be fine :)

 
13.
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Bee
Miss Honey (message)  1,069 posts, Bumble bee

Ha! I too will have a Relax sundae :) Can’t wait to see your final product, I know they will be beautiful!

 
14.
Mrs. Tartlet
Bee
Mrs. Tartlet (message)  3,207 posts, Sugar bee

I think dealing with USPS was the most stressful part of the invitation process. Worrying about postage is the worst, especially when you get a different answer depending on who you ask! A test mailing definitely put my mind at ease!

 
15.
Mrs. Cinnamon Bun
Bee
Mrs. Cinnamon Bun (message)  1,100 posts, Bumble bee

Step 1: Breathe in.
Step 2: Breathe out.
Step 3: If you have a return address on the envelope (and you should) if you do accidentally put the wrong amount of postage on it, it will come back to you and you can mail it again.

 
16.
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Bee
Miss Teacup (message)  621 posts, Busy bee

I’m right there with you…gotta get those babies done and out into the world. You’ve inspired me to work on them a little tonight, thanks!

 
17.
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Member
TamJam (message)  208 posts, Helper bee

@Miss High Wire: Could you use those stamped envelopes later for thank you cards??

 
18.
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TamJam (message)  208 posts, Helper bee

I’m in the beginning stages of invites and I’m already obsessing!!

 
19.
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Bee
Miss Ladyfingers (message)  1,119 posts, Bumble bee

@Irish_in_Oxford: Hahaha! Yes, my sentiments exactly.

@philabride2bee: Agreed! He keeps asking for jobs and I keep refusing to give him any. Ugh. Perfectionist pants. But I’m imagining that will change very soon.

@Miss Cannon: Hear, hear.

@Mimi: That is very true - thank you! A scale is a great idea, but we had them weighed at the PO and we’re well within the one-ounce limit.

@Miss High Wire: Oh no… :(

@kristophine: Very good advice, thanks!

@Charcole2011: YAY! Everything will be great. That’s so exciting!

@kmnowlan: Oh my! That’s good to hear, though - I mean, that you’re not in a straightjacket after all that ;)

@Miss Pony: Aw, boo :(

@DuckyLeigh: Oh yes, I would have freaked out too!

@Miss Honey: It sounds delicious. No calories, either.

 
20.
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Bee
Miss Cucumber Sandwich (message)  572 posts, Busy bee

I could have written this post. I have invitation nightmares too. I definitely was nervous about postage because the clerk told me it was only 44 cents. I should have had them double checked but I didn’t so I was panicking until the first guest received theirs. Good luck. I can’t wait to see the finished product!

 

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Mrs. Ladyfingers
Mrs. Ladyfingers

Mrs. Ladyfingers, Saint Petersburg, FL Age and Occupation: 30, Marketing Manager Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Sports Writer Engagement Date: December 24, 2010 Wedding Date: November 2011 Venue: Palma Sola Botanical Park About Me: I hail from Oklahoma, he was born and raised in Long Island. Fate brought us together, and now we live in a cute little rental house with our nutty dog, and our aloof cat. We both love to read, watch movies, explore our town, and laugh like hyenas. When I’m not obsessively wedding crafting, I enjoy stalking style and decorating blogs, making collages and painting, napping, thrifting, rearranging our bookshelves, and being a total weirdo with my friends. Hi!

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