Weddingbee Blog

The soda part is a joke. Sort of. I mean, there are two Mexi-Cokes chilling to the perfect temperature in my refrigerator now—ice flecks, a few drops of condensation on the glass, a frosty bottle cap. So I guess Bossyboots’ and my foundation might be slightly made of soda.

(SOURCE)

Nevertheless, I was at my regular book club dinner for half-price wine glass night, and a few of us got into a conversation about how weddings often force couples into evaluating the role religion—faith—spirituality will all play in their life. In addition to money, children, and about eight-hundred-thousand other things (!)

You all know that Bossyboots and I are investigating a Catholic or Catholic-esque ceremony. In preparation, we’ve been attending mass, but we are also mixing things up by attending a Protestant church that I like. I feel like a bit of a mish mosh because at my core, I am spiritual—but I wouldn’t say I have a faith (to quote one of my book club buddies). I definitely don’t have a religion.

Many of the major religions have a party line against gay rights (trust me, I understand that not all believers subscribe to that party line)—I’m really just super uncomfortable aligning myself with a religion that breaks with one of my core beliefs.

Attending church each week and listening to lessons that are actually helpful to everyday life has been a good and fruitful thing—I can’t say I’m all in though (see “party line” above). I don’t really think that there’s a parallel dimension that you can only get to if you believe all the “right” things (again, while dehumanizing entire groups of people, per a great many of the world’s major religions). I am being honest here, don’t yell at me.

Now Bossyboots. He does have a religion and a faith to mix with his spiritual life, and he really does believe in all those things (as do millions and millions of others!). Catholicism is extremely important to him. Though let me be clear—he is hands down a subscriber to gay rights in every iota of the word (let’s not get confused on that point!).

How to reconcile all of this?

To be honest, we’re still working on it. Our core values match (they better, if we plan to be getting all married up in here!). We both have a strong spiritual side—Bossyboots is just “Spiritual Plus a Side of Religion Minus the Party Line.” Are we going to continue going to Catholic and Protestant churches? I think so. We’ve been getting a lot out of it, and it is a significant part of both of our individual heritages. One of my most treasured memories is my dad saying a Biblical blessing over all of us kids every night before we went to sleep. We’re planning to bring our children to church, too—as long as the church we attend also matches the ethics we want to pass down. This is a work in progress.

What kind of spiritual page are you and your partner on? Do you mainly keep to yourselves when it comes to faith, or do you two join forces?

Sidebar: This Coke I’m drinking is the bee’s knees. For real, y’all.