Weddingbee Blog

Hive, I’m afraid I haven’t been entirely forthright with you. Although it’s true that for the majority of our wedding day Mr. Tartlet and I lived in that coveted world of “sunshine and rainbows,” there was a dark little cloud hovering over our marriage that I haven’t spoken of until now, mostly because I was conflicted about how to approach the topic on such a public forum. Plainly speaking, I seriously considered glossing over the whole affair. Upon reflecting on my years of reading Weddingbee, though, I realized that part of what makes this community special is the open acknowledgement of the ups and downs that accompany engagement, marriage, and life after the wedding. At any rate, I digress. The springboard for this post is the following nugget of wisdom that my sister shared during her toast, and later wrote in our guest book:

{Personal Photo}

There is someone (let’s call this person “Sue,” because no one wants to be a Sue) who became increasingly antagonistic towards our relationship over the last couple of years, especially with how we chose to execute our wedding. Sue’s first act on our wedding day was to mock my appearance, and her last was to try and drag Mr. Tartlet away as we shared our last dance.

Truth be told, the day of Sue’s thoughtlessness didn’t irk me all that much. We were literally protected by a shield of people who loved us, and as the event progressed her actions washed off me like water off a duck’s back. It was in the following days when I started to chronicle our wedding that I began to feel distressed, and rather than focusing on the positive, ended up dwelling on the negative. At one point I wasn’t certain that I’d even be able to write my recaps because everything kept spiraling back to Sue’s shameless behavior. That is, until I flipped through our guest book and re-read my sister’s advice: don’t sweat the small stuff. It dawned on me that if I so chose, Sue could fall into that category of “small stuff.”

Although it might be cathartic to pulge all the ugly details, that’s entirely not my intention behind writing this. My aim is to encourage you to command what you take away from your wedding day. You have the capability to shrug Sue off—whether she be a person who specializes in spreading misery, or some detail that didn’t go quite as planned—and remain centered on what the celebration is about: honoring friendships…

{Photo by Aruna B. Photography}

…devotion, whether it be between siblings or husband and wife.

A tribute to family…

…fully embracing the joy of the moment…

…and celebrating love, whether it’s just blossoming…

…or well seasoned through years of shared experiences.

To take a moment and marvel at so many beloved people coming together.

At the time, I’m sure my sister was simply reiterating what she believed in her heart to be an essential ingredient for a successful marriage, not knowing the long-term impact her straightforward words would have. Her sweetly brief toast even ended on a lighthearted note, taking advantage of the fact that earlier in the evening I had been trying in vain to stick a spoon to my nose, a feat my brother and sister have long teased me for not being able to do.

{Photo by Brother Tartlet}

And, because big sister must always show the baby how it’s done:

Here’s to you, Heidi: sister, best friend, and confidante extraordinaire.

Don’t be a Sue. And perhaps just as importantly, don’t let a Sue get you down. Shall we toast to that?

Are any of you anxious about Sue making an appearance on your wedding day? Married ladies, if you had an unpleasant situation arise, how did you manage to power through and move on?

*Unless specified, all photos by Aruna B. Photography

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