A Best Friendor Dilemma

A Best Friendor Dilemma

August 2nd, 2011 @ 10:49 am by Mrs. Honey
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Usually, the first vendor booked by an engaged couple is the photographer. It’s a smart move, ensuring the person who will document the biggest moments of your big day is set in stone. Well, the Honeys haven’t booked a photographer. That’s because our preferred photographer is a friendor (a friend and vendor all rolled into one), but not just any friend and not just any ol’ vendor–she is one of my best friends and also a bridesmaid in our wedding. Hive, meet one of my eight bridesmaids, BM Candace of Candace Cross Photography.

Initially, people are envious of our friendor relationship and automatically assume that we get to have her shoot our wedding; I mean she has some serious talent. While I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for having her stand next to me at the altar, I will admit I’m jealous of the couples who get to have her document their big day:

I’m spoiled when it comes to wedding photography because I get to see the amazing work BM Candace does and because I’ve saturated my mind with photography from wedding blogs. Clearly I want to have my cake and eat it too, but the cold hard truth is that we can’t afford the photographers that I want and I’m terrified of paying for a photographer we can afford and receiving sub-par photos. I know that sounds ridiculously snobby. Currently, we are trying to figure out how get the drool-worthy photos that I crave at the price our wallet can afford. It’s not a fun spot to be in because time is ticking. We do have some promising leads as other options for photographers, so I’m not panicking yet.

The silver lining to our dilemma is that BM Candace, of course, does engagement pictures and does a damn good job with them. Stay tuned for our engagement pictures and to see how our photography dilemma pans out!

So, hive, who else is using friendors for their wedding? Who else feels their expectations far exceed the budget?! I can’t be the only one!

*All photos in this post by Candace Cross Photography

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17 Responses to “A Best Friendor Dilemma”

Member

mightywombat (message) 3,311 posts, Sugar bee

I would imagine that she might have some good contacts in the area - perhaps she could recommend someone?

I was SO lucky to have many friendors. (Seriously, I don’t know how I ended up with so many talented people in my life!!) Some of my closest friends created my dress, invitations, and jewelry; a family friend was the photographer; and my DH’s best friend officiated. It was awesome.

8/2/11 @ 11:01 am (reply)

Member

honeymead (message) 333 posts, Helper bee

You’re not alone!! We’re the same way. Of course, fur us, it’s also the place, but eh. Her photos are GORGEOUS!!

8/2/11 @ 11:03 am (reply)

Member

mittens111211 (message) 1,749 posts, Bumble bee

I’m a photographer myself and I have extremely high expectations for my day.

But, like you (and I’m sure a lot of brides) we cannot afford many of the photographers that I wanted. Not to mention that we are having such a small wedding anyway, it didn’t make sense to pay more for a photographer than we were spending on food.

I found our photographer on craigslist. I went through the ads and found the one I liked the best that was in our budget. She is fantastic and she would normally be out of our range, but she was running a specially and I booked her at 70% off! score!

So it can be done! Just don’t get discouraged! BM Candace should be able to give you some good references too!

8/2/11 @ 11:04 am (reply)

Guest

Nicole

We were in a similar spot with our photographer. Initially, we wanted my uncle to take our wedding photos as he’s an awesome photog, BUT we decided we didn’t ultimately want a guest also being the photog. We want out guests to enjoy themselves AND I didn’t want to worry about biased photos (meaning more photos of ppl from my side of the fam then my FI’s side or our friends).

We ended up finding a different friendor for a photog - my brother’s girlfriend’s cousin is a photog and we LOVE her style! So it worked out, and we got a better deal then if we had just went with someone whose website we happened across.

Does your BM have assistants that do work similar to her’s that you could hire?

8/2/11 @ 11:06 am (reply)

Member

Devonclaire (message) 29 posts, Newbee

BM Candace does beautiful work! We ran into the same budget dilemma when looking at photographers. The numbers ranged from “grab your ankles” to “I’d like your first AND second children”. I couldn’t validate spending more on pictures than our food and venue, but we got lucky. I found a fashion photographer that has gotten into weddings more recently. She has a very “wedding blog” style and she actually came in under budget with engagement photos! The key for us- we aren’t spending the extra to get albums, prints, etc. Just 2 photographers for 8 hrs, rights and a CD of all images, and the e-session.

8/2/11 @ 11:16 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Hyena (message) 1,881 posts, Buzzing bee

@Devonclaire, love the way you described photographer pricing.
I second asking your friend if she knows of anyone similar in your price range in the area!

8/2/11 @ 11:36 am (reply)

Member

anna4041 (message) 226 posts, Helper bee

I love friendors! We have ours doing photos, cake, catering, reception, rehersal dinner. Our big break was that we know these people, but they weren’t close enough to invite to the wedding(ie, haven’t seen in years), so we have the best of both worlds!
@devonclaire LOL. That is now my new explanation for pricing, like the $1700 veil the consultant tried to put on me. umm no way in hell!

8/2/11 @ 12:13 pm (reply)

Member

anna4041 (message) 226 posts, Helper bee

Also, LOVE the last 2 photos!

8/2/11 @ 12:13 pm (reply)

Member

Zusie (message) 247 posts, Helper bee

It seems like your friend might have a connection with another photographer that could help you out at a friend rate.

8/2/11 @ 12:29 pm (reply)

10.

Bee

Miss Pony (message) 4,171 posts, Honey bee

What an amazing friendor to have for non-wedding day photos! Hopefully she can help you find a great photographer within your budget!

8/2/11 @ 12:33 pm (reply)

11.

Member

kate02121 (message) 396 posts, Helper bee

Lucky you having such a talented friend!

My closest aunt is an incredible photographer and offered to be second shooter at our wedding. I said no because we wanted her to just be a guest, but she said she wouldn’t feel comfortable being at an event like this and not taking photos….so we got an incredible second shooter out of that and I’m thrilled. The tricky part was finding a primary photog who would be willing to work with a second he/she didn’t know, but we totally lucked out with that too and he’s a steal!

Finding a photographer was my EASIEST vendor which is great, but I’m having difficulty with everything else…sigh.

8/2/11 @ 1:04 pm (reply)

12.

Bee

Mrs. Trail Mix (message) 6,328 posts, Bee Keeper

I totally feel ya! Mr TM’s cousin is one of the top wedding photographers in Miami but we didn’t want to ask her to do our wedding bc we wanted her there as a guest! Turns out, she booked a different wedding the same date as ours before she knew, so it was all for naught but still…

8/2/11 @ 1:06 pm (reply)

13.

Member

TamJam (message) 208 posts, Helper bee

My expectations exceed my budget in a lot of aspects of this wedding but I’m really trying to pull back.

8/2/11 @ 1:36 pm (reply)

14.

Bee

Mrs. Tartlet (message) 3,207 posts, Sugar bee

Ditto to hope that BM Candace has some contacts she can recommend for you! Her work is beautiful–you have a very talented friend.

8/2/11 @ 2:07 pm (reply)

15.

Bee

Miss Honey (message) 1,069 posts, Bumble bee

Thanks for all the comments, Hive, I’m sure BM Candace has read all these and is smiling. She is definitely helping with our search for the perfect photographer!

8/2/11 @ 3:48 pm (reply)

16.

Member

stephbonthego (message) 687 posts, Busy bee

Mr. D’s cousin is a professional violinist and offered to play at our ceremony. AND MC our reception AND DOC for us!

We are looking for an alternate DOC (that we can afford) because we really-really want said cousin to be able to be a guest- at least part of the time at our wedding!

8/2/11 @ 5:19 pm (reply)

17.