Weddingbee Blog

I apologize off the bat, as this is one of those wordy posts with no pictures.

Mr. Seal and I have been engaged for over a year and half, and before he proposed, we were together for only a year. So, if you’ve done the math, you’d notice that more than half of our relationship has been spent engaged (and thus, wedding planning). That’s a whole lot of engagement and wedding talk, folks.

As I’ve previously discussed, it was much to my surprise that I embraced wedding planning so whole-heartedly. The appeal in getting married to the Sealman when he proposed was truly in marrying the love of my life and beginning our life together, not so much in arranging the big party and wearing the pretty ring (though I considered both to be perks). It is with much sadness and disappointment that I admit that I’ve really managed to lose sight of what’s important over the last couple of months.

Obviously things pick up the nearer the wedding approaches (more vendor meetings, bridal showers, DIY projects), but I don’t think there is any excuse for ever making my future husband feel emotionally “neglected.”

Yes, hive, those were his words.

After some initial denial and misguided anger, I realized something heartbreaking—he was absolutely right. As of late, our usual snuggling-on-the-couch time has been replaced by me sitting with a laptop in my face responding to e-mails, blogging, or researching my next wedding project while he attempts to have a meaningful conversation with me. It takes me at least a couple rounds of, “what was that, babe?” before truly absorbing what he has to say. Or, perhaps even worse, when we do spend one-on-one time together outside of the house, I’m still connected to my bridal duties via my iPhone. It seemed as though no time was sacred to just us—and the fault was all mine.

And don’t get me wrong, Mr. S has done plenty his share of indulging my wedding fantasies and inputting marvelous ideas of his own, but when is enough enough? It seems as though I tested those boundaries. Perhaps when nearly every conversation is wedding-based, it’s gone too far.

I’m going to be blatantly honest with you guys in admitting that, had the neglect continued, it had the potential to break us. We’re a strong couple with awesome communication, but stepping outside of my wedding world to realize that what I was (or wasn’t) doing was causing conflict, took a bit of time and serious introspection. Ultimately, all I had to do was let sink in that he felt I had let our relationship come secondary to our wedding, and I was cured. How could I go on planning a celebration of our marriage if there could possibly be no marriage?

I care much too much about Mr. Seal and our future together to let anything come between us, let alone the planning of the very day that’s intended to inaugurate our happily-ever-after. So, I figured it out quick. At the expense of some heavier blogging, craft projects and sleep, I spent time talking to Mr. Seal—laughing and talking about us and mapping out our future. I’m figuring out how to manage my time better and feel much better prepared to take back on the endeavor of wedding planning and ’bee blogging WHILE nurturing my relationship with the handsome Mr. Seal.

So, here’s my unsolicited PSA: being engaged is a magical, wonderful experience, but it’s short-lived. The marriage part? That’s forever. And with so many outside factors fighting to tear you and your partner apart, start off on the right foot—both of you. Together.

Have wedding plans ever threatened your relationship? How have you handled this?