Weddingbee Blog

I have said many times, both in this blog and in real life, that I like to be busy. I get antsy if I have too much down time. I want to, “Go! Go! Go!” as my daughter’s idol, Kai-Lan says. But, Hive, I have been way too busy over the past couple weeks.

At work, our fiscal year ends June 30, so the past month has been incredibly busy. In the world of accounting, the end of the fiscal year is a big deal and there is a lot of work involved. On top of the fact the work had to be done, one of the employees in our department quit and another received a promotion, so we are understaffed.

At school, my last class ended on Saturday and it was a very intense, involved class. I had, no exaggeration, at LEAST fifteen hours of homework each week for this one class. And as the last two weeks wound down, I found myself studying for the final and doing a huge involved project that took a lot of time and concentration. Meanwhile, Mr. Cannon found himself having to work seven days a week several weeks in a row. This left me in charge of Cherry Bomb all weekend, which really took a toll on the time I set aside each week for school work. Additionally, two weeks in a row, one or the other of the websites I use for my on-line class were down during one of the days in which I usually do my school work.

On top of that, time is ticking ever closer to the wedding, and we absolutely had to get our invitations sent out.

I also like to make sure I get at least three blog posts done each week here, because I feel like it was an honor to be selected to blog for Weddingbee, and I try my hardest to live up to that honor. I also had my wedding shower this weekend, and while I wanted nothing more than to relax and spend time enjoying it, I was 1) exhausted from staying up all night working on my school project the night before, and 2) distracted because I needed to be home studying for my final and finishing the project.

I don’t like to complain. I am doing all these things of my own volition. But I really think I bit off more than I could chew. I made it through, but I made it through feeling like a big failure. At work, I feel like I’m not getting enough accomplished fast enough. At school, I felt like I didn’t have enough time to truly devote myself to what I was doing, and didn’t feel like I was turning in my best work. Here, I felt like a bad blogger when I missed an entire week of blogging because sending out invitations won out on my wedding related tasks. And with Cherry Bomb, I have felt like a bad mom because I have been so busy working on all the things I have to do that I haven’t spent enough time playing with her, or taking her to the park. And with Mr. Cannon, well, we’ve barely seen each other over the past month, and whenever we do, I’m usually so busy that I’m barely listening to him because I’m thinking about what I should be doing instead of just sitting there talking.

And these feelings of failure were all colliding on Saturday as I attempted to make it through my beautiful and thoughtful shower. And as I was feeling like an absolute failure at life, I was surrounded by so many people who love and support me. It was so uplifting and it really helped me power through that final and project and get where I am right now.

I ran through the coals and came out mostly unscathed. Work is coming together. I made it through the summer semester with an A in one class and a B in the other. I’m starting to get RSVPs back and am LOVING everyone who is coloring them. I’m here gathering my wedding mojo to power through the next few weeks until I’m married. My daughter’s favorite phrases are, “I love you!” and “I so happy!” And Mr. Cannon continues to love me for some unknown reason that I am truly grateful for. It’s almost like he wants to marry me or something!

Oh yeah, and I have two weeks to get my wedding crafting wrapped up as much as possible before fall semester starts.

Please tell me other people are going through this insane stress as the wedding gets closer! Is anyone else just ready for the wedding to be over so it’s one less thing to worry about?