Weddingbee Blog

Once the rings make their way through the crowd and after the wedding party processes in, we’re finally ready to begin. Since the Baconator’s uncle is marrying us, we won’t have a homily, but he’ll do a welcome and maybe a opening prayer. We are sending him Union by Robert Fulghum in case he wants to include it. I love the way that it is so frank about what marriage might be, but the Baconator wants his uncle to have the freedom to put something of his own together for the ceremony.

Union by Robert Fulghum

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks - all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married,” and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” - all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” - and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed - well, I meant it all, every word.” Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another - acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same. For after today you shall say to the world - This is my husband. This is my wife.

After the welcome-slash-introduction-slash-description of marriage is over, one of our usherettes will be coming forward to read Corinthians.

We had debated having Uncle M do the reading from scripture, but we liked having it read by a close friend that is very active in her church.  We opted for the longer version of the reading (lines 1-13) rather than the shorter version (lines 4-7) because we feel like it is a much more complete message. For now, we’re leaning towards the New International Version, but we might leave it up to the reader to use her favorite version.

1 Corinthians 13

1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.

11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Next up is something that we came up with ourselves out of personal preference. The Baconator doesn’t want our vows to include any words are aren’t our own, but that means that I can’t quote one of my favorite poems and he won’t be able to reference any of his favorite movies. So we decided that rather than cutting those out all together, we’d have someone do a reading on our behalf. I chose to have the reading done by MOH Bacon because she’s like a sister to me and I can’t think of anyone else that would be a more perfect fit. The Baconator is still deciding because he doesn’t think his little brother will feel comfortable reading in front of everyone. We are billing them as “A Word from the Groom to the Bride” and “A Word from the Bride to the Groom” and Uncle M will mention that we have asked these two people to read on our behalf selections that we have each chosen ourselves as a final message before getting down to exchanging vows and rings.

First it’s the Baconator’s turn:

An Excerpt from Kevin Smith’s Chasing Amy

I love you.

And not in a friendly way, although I think we’re great friends.

And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it.

I love you. Very, very simple, very truly.

You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. I had to say it. I can’t take this anymore.

I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you.

I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels.

I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. I had to say it, ’cause I’ve never felt this way before, and I don’t care.

I like who I am because of it and I just couldn’t allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome.

All I ask, please, is that you just try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. There isn’t another soul on this planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I’m with you. Please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me.

Then it’s my turn:

Love by Roy Croft

I love you

For the part of me

That you bring out;

I love you

For putting your hand

Into my heaped-up heart

And passing over

All the foolish, weak things

That you can’t help

Dimly seeing there,

And for drawing out

Into the light

All the beautiful belongings

That no one else had looked

Quite far enough to find

I love you because you

Are helping me to make

Of the lumber of my life

Not a tavern

But a temple.

Out of the works

Of my every day

Not a reproach

But a song.

I love you

Because you have done

More than any creed

Could have done

To make me good.

And more than any fate

Could have done

To make me happy.

You have done it

Without a touch,

Without a word,

Without a sign.

You have done it

By being yourself.

Perhaps that is what

Being a friend means,

After all.

Whew, after those three readings, it’s our time to shine and we are on to the vows! The Baconator has his all written, but mine are still up in my brain. I’d better get cracking, huh?

Were you able to select all your own readings? Is there one that you simply had to include for your day to be complete?