Weddingbee Blog

So Mr. D and I recently finished our FOCUS test, and are awaiting our minister to tell us when our premarital counseling sessions begin. With that in the background, we decided that we should probably try to start and piece together what we want our ceremony to look like.

One of the first things we felt that we should decide upon was whether or not we wanted to write our own vows or not.

Image via Amanda Geier Photography

I was all for it. Mr. D on the other hand—not so much.

You see, Mr. D is a very, very private person. It took him months to even tell people we were dating, because he he felt that frankly, it was none of their business. Same with being engaged and setting our wedding plans. If it doesn’t involve you directly, then you really don’t need to know about it. This is why I was so completely surprised that Mr. D gave his blessing for me to apply to become a bee. After all, we wouldn’t just be sharing our wedding with those in attendance, but with all of the hive as well.

With the private part of Mr. D’s personality, he said that while he loved me, he just simply did not feel comfortable with sharing the most private of his feelings for me with everyone. He felt that it was something special that is meant to be between us, and us only. He’s one of those gentlemen who kisses and doesn’t tell, something rare in this day and age.

As much as I would have loved to written our own vows, I completely understood and left the decision up to Mr. D, who confirmed that we would instead be reciting the basic vows instead of writing personal ones. Which is fine with me, I find something so romantic about saying the same vows that millions of other couples have also used. I mean, think about it, they probably used them:

Image via Fashion-Era

And this lovely couple from 1899:

Image via Fashion-Era

I bet that even these guys recited those very same vows (or some close variation):

Just kidding. But with all jokes aside, Mr. D did offer a compromise since he knew that I really did want to write our own vows. Before the wedding we will write three letters. One to be opened on the morning of our wedding, one to be opened on our golden anniversary, and one to be in case of emergency.

Wait. What kind of emergency?

Mr. D wanted to make sure that we had a letter on hand at all times that can be opened in dire times. When we need reminders of each others love the most. If our marriage is going through a really rough patch, if we let life take over and begin to forget the little things that we love about each other, the letter can be used as a jump start, a reminder. I’m all for this idea. It allows us both a chance to really lay out our feelings for one another and lets us keep them private (which makes for a happy Mr. D).

Did you have trouble deciding on your vows? Does/Did your need or your SO’s need for privacy cause some decisions to be made for you?