- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee Blog
For some reason, weddings and children seem to bring it out in people. Everyone thinks they know best and that you, of course, want to know how they would do it, because naturally you won’t have an opinion of your own. From the month of the year you choose to marry to the wording on the invitation, EVERYONE has an opinion.
Mr. Ticket and I chose to have a relatively short engagement (though at times it’s felt like it took FOREVER) with 11 months to plan our wedding. From the very beginning we have received advice/suggestions/requests… some were taken more seriously (those given from parties assisting in the payment of the big day) and others were taken with a grain of salt (no, we will not be playing Ke$ha at the reception Best Man A. Mr. Ticket put his foot down on that one).
Whether they want to submit your wedding to David Tutera’s My Fair Wedding after you’ve already spent 6 months planning (and don’t even watch the show) or they suggest ideas for favors when you are less than 2 months out from your date (favors which you already had picked out 4 months ago) they mean well! While I’ve greatly appreciated the advice and the help I’ve gotten from family and friends throughout the wedding planning process, I must say that some suggestions are harder to swallow than others.
How have you handled unsolicited advice? What was the worst piece of advice you’ve received while planning your wedding?
Oh dear, I’m heading home in a couple days to do some wedding related things and I feel this post is foreshadowing how my visit will go. Everyone has told me they want to talk to me about the wedding. A couple people, My Mom for one, told me they have made a list of ideas for me…
Advice always comes and goes. In my case, I want to keep things simple but my Mom wants over the top! We`ve had some fights, but we are getting over it quickly ans just enjoy the process.
At the end, after all the advice, the final decision will always be yours.
Btw, I am getting married in Oct 2011 too! I got engaged on Dic 2010 and all this months of preparations seem forever.
I understand what you are going too, but just enjoy the process of being a Bride to Be!!!
Best of luck!
No Ke$ha!?!? One of my major wedding dilemmas is whether we should play Tik Tok or Your Love is my Drug!
The worst piece of advice I got from a lot of people was to let the children attend the reception. I was told that it would add color, make things more lively, give them an important night to remember, etc. And I was told I would regret it if I didn’t.
The last part could be true, but I seriously doubt it. I wish I could go back and stamp my foot down firmly like I originally was intending to do and not allow anyone under the age of 18 to attend the reception. It was too chaotic and the parents of all the kids didn’t want to babysit them, so as a result they interrupted our first dance and dominated the dance floor until amost 11pm! And since no one bothered to arrange for a babysitter all the parents had to turn in early which sucked since they were all siblings and in the wedding party.
Yes, the kids might have a nice memory of a fun night out, but my wedding was a formal nightime open bar event and I just don’t think that mixes well with kids. And it wasn’t the type of wedding I was trying to plan. I wanted to be the center of attention gosh darned it and with small children stealing the show all night (literally) it just wasn’t the atmosphere I was going for.
OMG…. you have started a shit storm with this topic…. the advice was not on my wedding which is coming up in March… but it was on having kids. We are a blended family(1 mine, 2 his, 1 ours) with 4 kids under the age of six. We had children befor getting married.
And his brothers wife has the nerve to tell me that she “hopes we dont have any more kids since we cant afford them….because we dont drive new cars.”
First off… I make REALLY good money… more than 3 times what she makes… She may drive a Lexus and I drive a 2007 Suzuki XL7… But how the heck does she know how much money I make and what I can or cant afford? AND since when does the year and make of your car determine the number of kids you can have?
Im not saying I want anymore children… I love my Suzuki… its not a Lexus… but its almost paid off and aside from my morgage I have ZERO debt.
I am soooo with you fellow bees on unsolicited advice. I dont care if she is future family or not… dont tell me how to spend my money or that I cant “afford” more kids….I grew up lower class, but my parents were there for me and I always felt loved… even if I was wearing hand me downs…. money doesnt determine your parenting skills….
Haha I am still 10 months out so I haven’t gotten a lot of unsolicited advice *yet*. Although I did have an odd conversation with a random co-worker.
Random co-worker: “Oh my! Your hair has gotten so long, have you decided how you are wearing it for the wedding?”
Me: “No, maybe half up/half down?”
Ransom co-worker: “Oh you should wear it in a low bun, it will look so elegant!”
Me: “Oh yea, that is an idea. But I have spent so much time growing it out, I would like to show it off a bit.”
Random co-worker: “Oh but a bun is so much more stylish. You really, really, really should consider wearing it in a bun.”
Me: **WTF, who are you** “Yeah, ok maybe you’re right…..”
Honestly, I have found that it’s easier to just say oh wow thanks that is a great idea. Especially if they are random people who aren’t even invited to your wedding LOL!
We have one friend in particular that always thinks he knows best. He has our entire wedding already planned out for us (we haven’t planned anything yet). I just smile, nod, and walk away at this point because I already know, he is not going to listen.
And my mom has her own image of what I will look like when I walk down the isle. I pretty much had an argument with her about what my dress will look like!
I’m sure there will a bunch more to come…
Good luck Ticket!
FMIL loves to contribute her advice and tried to plan us a wedding where she lives (about 5 hours from us and in DC = more expensive). We’re paying for everything, but she still contributes her opinions. And she always references a family wedding that had door prizes, some other games, and no bar. She gushes over how much fun it was and how we def need to do it. Fiance and FBIL HATED it because there was no bar.
I’ve also had coworkers give me random advice, from a woman who runs a candy business on the side (I can do all your favors! For the price of $5 each! Thanks, but no thanks!), to comments on whether I’m losing weight for the wedding! Everyone has an opinion when it comes to weddings!
I think everyone gets it… coming from family is the most stressful
Me:we want a small wedding, no more than 80 people
Aunt: Are you kidding you have more people than that on your mom’s side of the family!! Your mom had 800 people - you have to invite all the family!
Me: We want small and intimate - and we want to pay for it ourselves..were thinking a $5k budget so we can pay for me to move down there (Bahamas)
Mom: Are you serious?! Your graduation party was $4k, so you want a graduation party
Grand mom/Mom/Aunt: That means he’s broke!!!!
haha Children was the biggest headache when we first started planning. We knew before we signed our venue contract that anymore than 4 kids results in a surcharge for extra staff. We understood and already agreed to no young children at our wedding. Well not everyone agreed and thought we were selfish and rude for not allowing children at our wedding. We now respond with “due to venue restrictions we sadly can’t have any young children at our wedding”. Usually shuts them up. 
At $100 a pop plus the cost of food…we are NOT having kids at the wedding period. 
Lol! I’ve totally had someone tell me they want to submit my wedding to David Tutera—I know they’re trying to be nice but I kept thinking…”does my wedding *need* to be submitted? I think I’m doin’ okay on my own!” Anyway, Ticket…I totally feel ya.
I’m amazed how many people have advice! And how upset they get if you don’t take it seriously. My FMIL stated handing our advice on everything the moment we told her we were engaged. It seems any idea I have she has a better idea. So lately I’ve been giving her the bare minimum of information about the wedding. The less she knows about my plans the less “advice” she can give 
My FMIL keeps telling us to keep the money and elope! My mother keeps randomly calling me up and asking me questions like, “Are you sure you want a tea length dress?” or “Are you sure you don’t want to wear a veil?” Yes mom, I’m sure!
Haha how long do you have…!
That’s the single biggest thing I don’t miss about being engaged! My poor father paid for most of our wedding and didn’t utter a word about how, why, where, when or what. Every other person I spoke to in that year had an opinion. They just can’t help themselves. Definitely smile and say thanks , is the best response, if only because it’s the one most likely to protect your blood pressure!
Ignore it mostly. I smile and nod and move on with my day. Unless I like the suggestion, then whoever offered it gets the fun job of doing research and work to make their suggestion come to fruition.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Miss Ticket, Riverside, CA Age and Occupation: 25, Executive Assistant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, HVAC Technician Engagement Date: November 14, 2010 Wedding Date: October 2011 Venue: Crestmore Manor About Me: I'm a lifelong So Cal gal, a chocoholic, a closet gamer, and a television enthusiast (love me some Vampire Diaries!) who adores playing in the kitchen and lives in flip flops. Mr. Ticket and I are best known for singing and dancing in the car, our World of Warcraft addiction, adoring food, crane game playing, and our general homebody ways. Oh, and GO STEELERS!
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
| 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
| 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
| 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 |
Latest Gallery Pics