Why Get Married?

Why Get Married?

August 31st, 2011 @ 4:45 pm by Miss Warbler
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A friend asked me this question last week. Why am I getting married? Mr. Warbler and I already live together (in sin), we share finances, and we are in agreement that we’re not having any children. Getting married won’t change anything in our lives, so why bother?

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My friend makes a lot of sense. But marriage does change your relationship. I’ve seen it happen to my parents and my siblings, and we’ve all seen it happen to celebrities. I don’t know if being married adds pressure to a relationship or reminds you of your impending mortality, but there’s a reason 50% of marriages end in divorce. I think being married forces couples to be openly honest about all of the things they might have been hiding while dating. And the truth isn’t always pretty. It’s often ugly and unwanted.

I believe there are plenty of reasons to get married. People get married for financial reasons, for security, because the condom broke (hey, it happens), and sometimes people even get married for love. Lucky for me I fall into that last category.

Why am I getting married? I never seriously thought about marriage before I met Mr. Warbler. Sure, I imagined a wedding, flowers, and a beautiful dress, but I never gave a second thought to a marriage. I have a handsome, caring, hilarious man in my life who gets me. He knows when I pretend like I don’t want ice cream but am secretly DYING for a scoop. He knows when I need to cry and when I need to laugh. I couldn’t really ask for anything more than that.

Getting married won’t change any of that. But to me it’s the final step in solidifying all of that. There’s something beautiful about being able to look into his eyes and know that he belongs to me and I belong to him. Besides, how could I not marry a man who will try this hard to make me laugh?

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Why are you getting married?

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13 Responses to “Why Get Married?”

Member

soontobe_mrsSughrue (message) 51 posts, Worker bee

My FI and I have a son together and live together (we are living in major sin) ; ) but when we found out we were pregnant we agreed that we were NOT going to get married just because we were having a baby. (We had already discussed marriage before we found out we were preggo) So we already were in a committed and serious relationship but we did not want to get married just because of a baby. We wanted to do it because we love each other and because we want to spend the rest of our lives together. We decided that we wanted to wait until our son was a year or two old before we got married. and that is exactly what we are doing we are getting married two months before our sons second bday. and we are doing it for all the right reasons : ) and when I was pregnant I got asked the opposite question “Why arent you getting married?” Not that it is anyone’s business : )

8/31/11 @ 5:03 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Hamster (message) 4,046 posts, Honey bee

Such a wonderful and insightful post, Miss Warbler! I love your writing style

8/31/11 @ 5:06 pm (reply)

Member

SweetRaines (message) 32 posts, Newbee

This is such a wonderful topic! I think everyone should ask this question and I’d love to see the multitude of answers!

8/31/11 @ 5:08 pm (reply)

Member

MrsSl82be (message) 7,970 posts, Bee Keeper

So glad to hear of another Bee who isn’t planning on having kids!! And yeah, I married my love because he gets me better than anyone else I’ve ever met, and I can totally be myself around him, and yet he still wants to spend the rest of his life with me!!

8/31/11 @ 5:12 pm (reply)

Member

hellopals (message) 3 posts, Wannabee

My guy and I are in the same boat as you two - live together, share finances and aren’t going to have children. I’m not even changing my name! Why am I bothering getting married? The least romantic answer is that my husband-to-be will qualify for my superior medical benefits. The most romantic is that of all the people in the world, I want to make a pledge that I am in this for the long haul and I want to be with only him. Our wedding is a celebration of that and I can’t imagine doing this with anyone else!

8/31/11 @ 5:14 pm (reply)

Guest

Ari

We are getting married after 9 years of dating (4 of which we have been living together). We are getting married for life and financial decisions.
A friend of ours passed away suddenly before he could be married to his fiance, and some end-of-life decisions were made NOT by his fiance and they were not his wishes. We don’t want this to happen to us!!
Also, financially speaking, being married in CA makes sense. Oh yeah, and we love the crap out of one another!
I love this website and I love hearing from all of the real brides!

8/31/11 @ 5:17 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Hyena (message) 1,881 posts, Buzzing bee

Excellent post. My reason for getting married — I love him, and he makes me happy. Simple as that.

8/31/11 @ 5:42 pm (reply)

Member

CurlyRN (message) 331 posts, Helper bee

Agreed. Love. We are both encore bride/groom and people ask, half-jokingly, why would we want to do it again. We both are crazy about each other and we want that finality to our committment.

8/31/11 @ 5:47 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Pony (message) 4,171 posts, Honey bee

Wonderful post! I am marrying Mr. P because I love him, he always makes me laugh, and understands me better than anyone.

8/31/11 @ 6:03 pm (reply)

10.

Member

Carolyn72 (message) 886 posts, Busy bee

It just felt it was time and it was the next step. We shared 17 years together off and on/he helped me raise my 3 girls even. When they grew up and moved out, there was a void, i feel more in love with him now and while the kids were growing up we were too busy to concentrate on each other. They were not even his children. People have asked me this also, why? Why? Because I feel it’s time.

8/31/11 @ 6:50 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Miss Kettle (message) 909 posts, Busy bee

I’m loving your writing style. Mr. Kettle and I are getting married because we couldn’t bear the thought of not being married. Sounds weird, but it makes perfect sense to us. We’ve only known each other for a 14 months. But when you know, you know, you know?

8/31/11 @ 8:29 pm (reply)

12.

Member

Coffee cup (message) 1,839 posts, Buzzing bee

Loved the picture. I really wanted to live (in sin) with my boyfriend prior to marriage. He’s older than me so he graduated 2 years before me and wants to ’start living’ now. I’m marring him cause I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life without my best friend, teacher, confidant, partner in crime, etc.. It’s something you can’t explain, you’re drawn to marry this person no questions asked..

9/2/11 @ 3:00 pm (reply)

13.

Guest

jthall

I literally laughed out loud at your “hey, it happens” remark.

9/6/11 @ 10:47 pm (reply)