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Miss Kettle, Chicago, IL Age and Occupation: 26, Non-Profit Donor Resource Coordinator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Musician & Teacher Engagement Date: May 29, 2011 Wedding Date: February 2012 Venue: Patrick C. Haley Mansion, Joliet, IL About Me: I'm a city girl who loves a good escape, so I'm planning a Chicago wedding outside of the city. I've been described as a quirky yet down-to-earth drama queen who loves fiercely. I used to be a scientist, but now I'm learning to navigate the world of non-profit organizations. I love cooking, blogging, shopping, and music, and movies (Hans Zimmer is my favorite movie composer). Mr. Kettle and I had a short courtship and now we have a happy home with our cat-who-thinks-she's-people, Belle. We spend our days and nights with good food, live music, video games, family, and friends. Our wedding has become this wonderful excuse to bring together hundreds of people we can't bear to be without.
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The Verdict on the Ascot

September 7th, 2011 @ 1:44 pm by Miss Kettle

In a previous post, I talked about Mr. Kettle and his journey to get clothes for the men in the wedding party. I talked about the ascot he wanted to wear and how I was very much against it.

I put up a poll and asked if you all thought he should go with the ascot or not. Some people put up some comments that were…harsh…to say the least. Ouch, guys. You know Mr. Kettle reads this blog, right? As well as his mother, Mima Kettle. You can’t say those things like we’re having girl time over martinis. But I digress.

Most of you seemed to think he should be able to wear what he wants since that’s what I’m doing. I don’t necessarily agree with that because he and I have lots of input regularly on what we wear from day to day. I checked with him to make sure he was OK with my dress length, color, and style. Believe me, if he’d wanted me in an all white trumpet gown with a ten-foot train and I didn’t look terrible in it, that might be what I was wearing. But again, I digress.

The hive voted on the poll, and over 100 people gave their opinions. It was about even, but now it keeps creeping in the direction of…ascot! I have to say at first this didn’t make me happy. Mr. Kettle and I got into two to three pretty heated discussions about it. It wasn’t even about the ascot (at least not on my end) but the tux in general, as well as communication between him and other male members of the wedding party. It was bad—real bad.

I think after he and I got into it at Mima and Poppa Kettle’s house this past Sunday, the dams broke. He realized he was kind of being a jerk. I realized I was kind of being a jerk. We both stopped our jerkiness and came to a compromise.

Our compromise was that he would get the ascot. Mima Kettle pointed out that he didn’t have much of a neck anyway, so losing it wasn’t a big deal. He will probably get a black ascot to wear with the black tuxes the men will be wearing. The groomsmen will wear black tuxes, black vests, and purple ties. The ushers will wear black tuxes, taupe vests, and taupe ties. The ring bearers will wear black tuxes, taupe vests, and taupe bow ties. Daddy Kettle and Poppa Kettle will both wear black tuxes, black vests, and black ties.

I agreed to help Mr. Kettle make sure he was getting the right colors for the suits, and he agreed to let me pester him about informing the wedding-party guys of what their responsibilities are for their wedding-day clothes. Here is what they’ll be wearing.

The Verdict on the Ascot :  wedding chicago menswear 733 733

Image: Perry Ellis Virgo Tux via Formally Modern Tuxedo

Hot, right? They will look fantastic on their day, ascot and all. It feels good to let go of my apprehensions and not let my crazy bride brain cause a rift in the otherwise happy feelings Mr. Kettle and I have had toward each other throughout the planning process.

The Verdict on the Ascot :  wedding chicago menswear Brideb bride+b

Bride-brain image via Tara Getting Married Blog

How did you settle differences in wedding-planning ideas? What are your guys wearing for your weddings?

Tags: chicago, menswear |
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15 Responses to “The Verdict on the Ascot”

1.
heather25
Member
heather25 (message)  2,355 posts, Buzzing bee

People were harsh? I didn’t see those comments. I am sure you guys are going to look great. That ascot will be gone by the first dance and will likely be being waved around the entire night!

 
2.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Sunhat (message)  865 posts, Busy bee

Glad you two were able to come to a compromise. Isn’t it crazy what you get all worked up about during the planning process? We are deciding on tuxes this month.

 
3.
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Bee
Miss Marmalade (message)  191 posts, Blushing bee

Glad you guys reached a compromise!

 
4.
Guest Icon
Guest
notabene

Haha awww. I think you will be glad you compromised. Or, at a minimum, when your future kids ask about your wedding day, you will have a funny story to tell about their Dad’s inexplicible wedding obsession…not unlike my fiance, whose father suddenly insisted upon a 70s-tastic white tux, because “it’s my wedding, and I should get to wear white, too!”

Seriously, though, it is impossible to look pretentious on your wedding day- just exuberantly celebratory. He’s going to be very handsome!

 
5.
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Bee
Miss Honey (message)  1,069 posts, Bumble bee

Yay for compromise, he will look fantastic! And yay for that bridal brain image ;)

 
6.
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Guest
Evie

@heather25: I didn’t see any nasty comments either! I was about to call out some meanies, but I just didn’t see anything remotely out of line. I’m glad you worked out your ascot fiasco and reached a comprimise! I’m sure you’ll both look wonderful.

 
7.
karengoblue
Member
karengoblue (message)  152 posts, Blushing bee

We tend to talk out our wedding planning differences to death…and eventually end up at a compromise! I’m still not quite sure how we get there. Luckily we didn’t have any issues with what we’re wearing - he doesn’t want to know anything about my dress (he wants a surprise!) and I’ve told him he can wear whatever tux he wants (as long as it’s not Dumb and Dumber inspired).

 
8.
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Member
Future Army Wife (message)  1,102 posts, Bumble bee

Yay for the ascot. And perk: you’re being rebels because ascots aren’t really seen on this side of the pond. I also think the “work” section of the bridal brain is wayyy too big, haha.

 
9.
paw
Member
paw (message)  379 posts, Helper bee

I don’t think the comments in the previous post were harsh. When reading your post here, I was shocked people would have been mean, but then I read the comments and don’t understand why you think this. If you didn’t want people’s opinion on the ascot, maybe you shouldn’t have posted a poll and asking for everyone’s thoughts on the ascot?

 
10.
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Bee
Miss Kettle (message)  909 posts, Busy bee

Okay hive, I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. I didn’t say anybody was being mean. If I implied that, I didn’t mean to. All I was saying is that a couple of the comments made Mr. Kettle, me, and Mima Kettle go “ouch”. It doesn’t matter which ones.

What matters it that all the opinions for and against the ascot were really the catalyst in getting us to a great compromise.

@paw: If I hadn’t asked for the opinions, I wouldn’t have remembered that when I don’t have bride brain, I like to take in others’ opinions. It was definitely the best decision to ask for help. Now, when I think of him in the ascot, it’s a good thing, ’cause I know he’ll be happy in his clothes and feel good inside and out that day!

 
11.
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Bee
Miss Pony (message)  4,171 posts, Honey bee

Yay for coming to a solution! You both will look fantastic the day of, ascot and all :)

 
12.
stephbonthego
Member
stephbonthego (message)  687 posts, Busy bee

We are leaning heavily toward ascots for the gents and I heart them!

 
13.
JessiTask
Member
JessiTask (message)  77 posts, Worker bee

I voted for the ascot! I think Mr. Kettle will feel awesome and the look is pretty dapper to me! Besides it will be fun too look back at your pics years from now and know Mr. Kettle’s signature can be seen on his attire.

PS I ask my fiance for input on clothes all the time too and although his sense of style is “interesting” it makes him feel good to see his choices on me!

 
14.
ttwo2
Member
ttwo2 (message)  102 posts, Blushing bee

I personally love ascots! It reminds me of Jane Austen :) It makes me sad that men don’t wear them much anymore :( I’m sure Mr. Kettle will look great in his!

 
15.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Kettle (message)  909 posts, Busy bee

@JessiTask: Lol @ “interesting” style choices.
@ttwo2: Jane Austen! I love her novels! I read every single one when I first got my Kindle. Though I’d never want to marry any of the characters from her books though… But that’s a great spin to put on the thought of Mr. Kettle in an ascot!

 

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Miss Kettle
Miss Kettle

Miss Kettle, Chicago, IL Age and Occupation: 26, Non-Profit Donor Resource Coordinator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Musician & Teacher Engagement Date: May 29, 2011 Wedding Date: February 2012 Venue: Patrick C. Haley Mansion, Joliet, IL About Me: I'm a city girl who loves a good escape, so I'm planning a Chicago wedding outside of the city. I've been described as a quirky yet down-to-earth drama queen who loves fiercely. I used to be a scientist, but now I'm learning to navigate the world of non-profit organizations. I love cooking, blogging, shopping, and music, and movies (Hans Zimmer is my favorite movie composer). Mr. Kettle and I had a short courtship and now we have a happy home with our cat-who-thinks-she's-people, Belle. We spend our days and nights with good food, live music, video games, family, and friends. Our wedding has become this wonderful excuse to bring together hundreds of people we can't bear to be without.

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