I am “Soooo” Catholic.

I am “Soooo” Catholic.

September 8th, 2011 @ 5:41 pm by Mrs. Funnel Cake
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You might argue that Mr. Funnel Cake is more religious than I am, but when it comes to church activities, I take the lead. Growing up in an ultra-traditional Catholic family, I was an altar girl for a number of years as well as a regular lector, an active member of the choir and even a Eucharistic minister. (Wow Miss FC, you’re sooo Catholic!)

I’ve read countless stories and verses in the Bible between Sunday school, religion class, Bible camp and my lector duties, while Mr. Funnel Cake has never even read the Bible, let alone had religion class. (How does a Swiss Catholic manage that??) So you would think with all my Catholic experience I would be great at planning the music and readings for our wedding. Ha!

I was sailing along smoothly with my music request of “traditional hymns and an Ave Maria,” but when my music director asked me what responsorial psalm we were using, I hit a big, red brick wall.

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Now, I know what the responsorial psalm is and when it happens during mass, but you can forget about me knowing them by heart or having ANY knowledge about wedding related psalms.

Suddenly, “Miss Catholic” was running to google “wedding responsorial psalm music” and as Google auto-fill let me know, I am not alone in this search.

But why do I feel like I’m planning the ceremony by the flipping seat of my pants?? I quickly read several psalms and tried to pick out one that didn’t sound totally wrong for Mr. Funnel Cake and me. “Great choice!” my music director answered, but then he came back again and asked if I wanted him to play the Ave Maria while I laid a flower at the statue of Mary or during the preparation of the gifts.

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Am I living in a cave? I had never heard of this flower tradition and I’ve never seen it done at a wedding. Once again I was searching the Weddingbee boards and finding many other non-Catholic brides who didn’t know about this tradition either. Now, seeing as I’m not the most devout Catholic and some of my pagan friends might view this act as idol worshipping, we won’t be doing it. (It also adds time onto our already tight schedule.) Preparation of the gifts it is!

But now I’m worried, “What’s next?” I feel like I’ve been tossed into the seas of nuptial planning and I’m realising how difficult it is to plan a mass.

Thankfully we’re finally talking with our priest tonight via Skype, so hopefully he can shed some more light on what we need to do to plan our ceremony.

Did you have any dumbstruck moments when it came to traditions from your own faith?

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25 Responses to “I am “Soooo” Catholic.”

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Member

Coffee cup (message) 1,839 posts, Buzzing bee

So I’m guessing leaving your bouquet at Mary’s feet it’s not a US tradition. I’ve only been to Mexican catholic weddings an every bride I’ve known has done this.
We won’t have a catholic wedding but it’s such a common thing to do here that when I started talking to florist, every single one of them offered packages that included two bouquets.

9/8/11 @ 6:00 pm (reply)

Member

Future Army Wife (message) 1,101 posts, Bumble bee

I feel like we might have some religion issues. My fiance is considering being baptized for our wedding. It means a lot to me, but it’ll be an interesting journey for him.

9/8/11 @ 6:18 pm (reply)

Guest

Krys

I know how you feel. I’m in the middle of the same thing right now. Totally lost!! Yikes. Im getting married at St. Patricks Cathedral and everything is super traditional, my priest also asked about the offering to Mary, I had no idea this even happened. Luckily we got a break down of everything last week or there would’ve been A LOT of things I would’ve overlooked.

9/8/11 @ 6:34 pm (reply)

Guest

MySunshine

ugh… catholic here too… but only technically…

fiance has the same history as you do… but since the whole planning this has mainly been on my shoulders the ceremony does scare me a bit… but we arent going to have a full mass so I am sure it wont be as difficult as yours..

Great tip on skyping your priest… I was wondering how we were going to get in touch with all our vendors , being long distance…

good luck!!!!!!!

9/8/11 @ 6:54 pm (reply)

Member

SweetRaines (message) 32 posts, Newbee

I had not heard of the Mary flower thing either until our priest suggested it. We haven’t decided whether to do it or not. Our perish gave us a little “workbook”with suggested readings, psalms, etc. that has proven very helpful! Best of luck!

9/8/11 @ 7:43 pm (reply)

Member

SweetRaines (message) 32 posts, Newbee

9/8/11 @ 7:44 pm (reply)

Member

SweetRaines (message) 32 posts, Newbee

9/8/11 @ 7:44 pm (reply)

Member

SweetRaines (message) 32 posts, Newbee

AAKK! Sorry for the super post! :S

9/8/11 @ 7:45 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Teaspoon (message) 731 posts, Busy bee

Don’t worry, I would be worried if you were an expert! We had ave maria for the offertory too - beautiful!

9/8/11 @ 7:56 pm (reply)

10.

Member

aggiebride10 (message) 89 posts, Worker bee

I’ve seen this done at every Catholic ceremony I’ve been to (in numerous states, and none Mexican-influenced at all as PP mentioned). I’m assuming I can get away without it because we’re not doing a full mass (I’m not Catholic)

9/8/11 @ 10:34 pm (reply)

11.

Member

lisamarieloves (message) 446 posts, Helper bee

I am Methodist but will be having a Catholic ceremony. I am terrified by the thought of picking each piece of the ceremony. I would love if you would tell us which readings or songs you end up selecting! I have heard about the flowers/Mary offering as I have been to many Catholic weddings. I will not be doing this ceremony - and will also not be doing the communion - because I am not Catholic and those traditions don’t really apply to me. I am interesting in your friends’ consideration of such act as “idol worshipping.” I sort of view it the same way (in the most resptful way possible), but I figured that was a huge part of the Catholic tradition. It is a beautiful act and a beautiful incorporation of any ceremony. It just wouldn’t be genuine coming from me so I am skipping it!

9/8/11 @ 10:44 pm (reply)

12.

Member

eeper (message) 485 posts, Helper bee

I am sorry this stressed you out, but I am so excited to tell my sister about the flower thing! My family is SUPER Catholic and my sister is doing the traditional church ceremony (I am the evil child who did not get married in a church). This sounds especially perfect since our mom’s name is Mary - I hope she’ll do this!

9/8/11 @ 11:38 pm (reply)

13.

Bee

Miss Funnel Cake (message) 690 posts, Busy bee

@lisamarieloves: I thought the flowers to Mary does sound like a beautiful, meaningful tradition for many people, but the idea of giving flowers to a statue weirded out Mr. FC so it just didn’t feel right for us. I agree… if it’s not genuine to the couple, it’s better to skip it!

@eeper: Ohhh that does sound really sweet! Tell her that lots of couples do the flowers to honour their mother’s and to honour the first miracle Jesus performed at a wedding. There’s so much meaning behind it, I’m sure your mother would love it!

9/9/11 @ 1:48 am (reply)

14.

Member

slicey19 (message) 2,844 posts, Sugar bee

I had also never heard about the flowers for Mary and thought it was a bit weird. At the suggestion of my aunt, we changed it up a bit so the moms each had a single long stem rose to lay on a amall table in front of Mary’s statue. We used the same table to hold a vase and a small flower arrangement in honor of a family friend who had passed away that week. So Mary got her offering, we included both mothers in the mother’s offering and honored my mother’s best friend all at the same time. In fact, our soloist sang Ave Maria when the mothers entered and while they placed their flowers so it was a super mother moment that I only saw on video as it all happened before I entered. As far as the rest of the ceremony, we went with a pretty traditional church and did not have a full mass so the wedding ceremony was pretty much set for us. We were able to chose a couple of songs and have a reader deliver an assigned reading (which was possibly too traditional for us). It made it so much easier to just trust the priest on the ceremony and we like the idea that we had the same ceremony my grandma likely had when she married in the same parish 60+ years earlier.

9/9/11 @ 4:17 am (reply)

15.

Guest

Kayley

Planning my own Nuptial Mass was quite a headache but I ended up going with hymns and a responsorial psalm that both my husband and I grew up hearing (I Will Praise Your Name). I think Flowers to our Mother Mary may differ from parish to parish. I absolutely loved including this during the Mass because it gave the Hubs and me a quick moment of prayer with it just being the two of us. We knelt down and said a Hail Mary together, holding onto the other’s hand. It became my favorite moment of that day. Plus, what woman doesn’t love some flowers?!

9/9/11 @ 8:25 am (reply)

16.

Bee

Miss Sunhat (message) 865 posts, Busy bee

Giving flowers to Mary is something that has been done at every Catholic wedding I’ve attended and been in. When I was the MOH in my friend’s wedding, she knelt in front of Mary while I stood behind her. It was a very emotional moment - it was a time for her to be alone with Mary and pray and reflect. Most other weddings I see the couple go up together and I agree with @Kayley that it’s a great time to have a somewhat private moment alone with the hubs. I will definitely be doing this tradition and my good friend from high school will sing Ave Maria during this time. I’m sure I’ll be an emotional mess!

9/9/11 @ 8:50 am (reply)

17.

Bee

Miss Sunhat (message) 865 posts, Busy bee

Oh - and I had a dream last night that I completely forgot to plan the ceremony! Didn’t have any music, readings, etc. figured out and I was on my way to the church! I’m sure I will completely space out on some obvious aspect of the Mass!

9/9/11 @ 8:52 am (reply)

18.

Member

kmnowlan (message) 160 posts, Blushing bee

Hey Miss FC, I’m having my Catholic ceremony next week so I know all about the presentation of flowers to the blessed virgin mary and other parts of a catholic wedding! I may not be an expert on these things, but maybe I could help? send me a message if you have any other questions!

9/9/11 @ 9:41 am (reply)

19.

Member

totheislnds (message) 5,361 posts, Bee Keeper

we gave flowers to mary, and played ave maria while we did it haha - this was not something i was aware of either but i think its more prominent in latin america especially those who pray to Our Lady of Guadalupe. My husbands family is much more devout than my family was growing up and this was an part of the wedding that they really cared about.

also in planning i learned the the unity candle is not traditional in the catholic church but since its seen in most christian weddings the catholic church allows it. i found that pretty inter sting.

i cannot for the life of me remember or responsorial psalm though…eeek

9/9/11 @ 10:03 am (reply)

20.

Member

Miss Scarlet (message) 283 posts, Helper bee

My husband and I did a Marian offering at our wedding. My family is German and has always celebrated this tradition. It was one of my favorite parts of the mass because it was an intimate moment for just the two of us to pray together for the first time as a married couple.

9/9/11 @ 10:38 am (reply)

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