Guest Lists Cause Homicidal Rage

Guest Lists Cause Homicidal Rage

September 13th, 2011 @ 4:42 pm by Miss Porcupine
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Creating a guest list was one of the most annoying of all wedding-related tasks. I started it, got bored, edited it, tried to finish it, started it over, stopped, and then ended up working off the first one again. Finally, I made some progress one random boring evening.

Image via Glamour / Artwork on it designed by yours truly

After thinking the guest list was DONEZO, I yet again went back over it and decided I hated the whole task. I had a slight mental breakdown when we did a rundown and realized that about 170 of the 187 on the invite list were probably going to show. Even though everyone says you’d be surprised by the amount of “no” responses, most of the people on the list are definites that already have it marked off on their calendars. (Which brings up the question, why the heck did I bother wasting my dollas on save the dates?)

We both have smallish families, plus Mr. Porcupine’s side of the family has a slew of close family friends. We are also only inviting our own closest friends, and we have a pretty big wedding party (16 people PLUS their guests), so there aren’t too many loose canons in the bunch. Even though our venue claims they can hold up to 200, we quickly calculated that 150 would be the “comfortable max.” So although these people will technically fit, I am afraid of the dance floor shrinking and people being on top of each other during dinner.

So, I had a bit of a psychotic meltdown, but after my rage was over I took a breath and said EFF it! It’s not like we’re talking about going over the venue’s capacity, so I just need to breathe and let it be. I’m sure I will look back and remember none of this when I’m old and gray. Plus I like to ration that three of the guests are children, so it will definitely shrink down the size of the crowd. Riiight? Right?

Once the guest list was “done,” I knew we had to get started on our save the dates. Back at the beginning of our engagement I was convinced I would be making our save the dates myself. I had just bought a Mac and had started some Photoshop design classes. Fast forward many months later, and the whole task made me want to eat a box of Wheat Thins. It only took one Google search to find a vendor on Etsy (the first hit) who created exactly what I had envisioned.

Did typing up your guest list drive you up the freakin’ wall?

Tags: guest-list, lancaster, seating |

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18 Responses to “Guest Lists Cause Homicidal Rage”

Member

FutureMrsEdwards420 (message) 81 posts, Worker bee

I’m on the wall right now. Hahahaha. I have refused to look at my guest list for the last two weeks. My numbers have gone up and down for months now and I’m tired of dealing with it. Hahahaha.
On a side note, I only sent STDs to ppl that I was definitely inviting to the wedding. All of the other people would have to wait till about 4 months to the wedding when my list was a lil more solid.

9/13/11 @ 4:49 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Ladyfingers (message) 1,119 posts, Bumble bee

I hated our guest list. And it won’t die. Our original guest list had 150 people on it. It was pretty much everybody we know and everybody we’re related to. We priced venues, and there was no way we could afford anything that held more than 75 people. Our final venue fits 80. We’re inviting 75. No kids (there would have been 18 kids on the guest list if everybody brought theirs, and we just couldn’t do it). And we’re already hearing about our guest list choices since our first wave of invites went out. My dad called me to “notify” me that my aunt and uncle got their invites, but he didn’t think my aunt’s sister and brother-in-law had gotten theirs yet (that’s because they’re not invited). His dad called to ask - for the third time - if his friends (who Mr. LF has barely met) are invited. Bah. Guest list, die!

9/13/11 @ 4:54 pm (reply)

Member

janie-janie (message) 2,572 posts, Sugar bee

I hated doing the guest list! but I hate wedding planning in general.

the funny thing is that I ended up inviting about 15 more people after the first round of invites went out. this is because I ended up re-connecting with people I haven’t seen in a long time, I felt like it was only fair. I ended up being really glad I did that!

9/13/11 @ 5:02 pm (reply)

Guest

smores

I thought the worst part was getting the addresses. How many times can one person say, “Honey, I seriously need you guys to get addresses for your side of the guest list.”? I was SO glad to put that bear of a project to bed. Ughhh!

9/13/11 @ 5:03 pm (reply)

Member

Coffee cup (message) 1,839 posts, Buzzing bee

It took me 20min while I was at the phone with FI. Total amount 287.. just immediate family (we both have a lot of aunts and uncles).

9/13/11 @ 5:25 pm (reply)

Guest

Lone Star

@Miss Ladyfingers: WHY do people think it’s okay to ask if someone else can be invited? My FI’s grandmother is staying with 2 of her friends, and asked him if she could bring them to the “party.” It’s not a party! If it were, I’d say come on in, bring more wine! Lady, it’d be cheaper for us to pay for the hotel room you don’t want to pay for than to pay for those stupid extra guests we haven’t even met! RIP Emily Post *end rant*

9/13/11 @ 5:52 pm (reply)

Member

mertlej (message) 21 posts, Newbee

we sent out save the dates 2 months ago, and the mister keeps inviting people! Like, “oh hey, doesn’t the wedding sound fun? WANT TO COME??”

yeah… still trying to figure out a way to a) reign him in, and b) keep track of said invites.

9/13/11 @ 6:02 pm (reply)

Member

redblackviking (message) 19 posts, Newbee

My guest list is still pretty tentative since I can not get my FI to give me other than his 4 or 5 family members and 3 of his 4 groomsmen since his 4th is my oldest son…I am down to just under 10 months and hoping to get the STD out by the middle of October…but trying hard to get him to think instead of just giving vocal invites…because I really can’t keep track of them that way…So I had taken a break on it and now working on getting addresses from those who have not responded to emails.

9/13/11 @ 6:15 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Seal (message) 1,179 posts, Bumble bee

Oooooh, the guestlist—I feel you, Porcupine! I lost lots of sleep and dealt with many a headache over the guestlist. Just as you said, everything will be fine

9/13/11 @ 6:34 pm (reply)

10.

Member

Ms. Shinie (message) 6 posts, Newbee

So far I have the guest list down, although I keep trying to balance it our more. I have a huge family, but my FI only wants to invite his parents, brother, and a few of his co-workers. We are trying to keep our numbers around 80, although my guest list has gone up to 93. I guess it is time to pull the hatchet out again.

Good luck!

9/13/11 @ 8:59 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Miss Magic (message) 628 posts, Busy bee

The guest list was fine…until it came time to send invitations. Not save the dates…those were fine too. But when invitation time came aorund, about twenty other people came out of [Mr. Magic's] thin air.

9/13/11 @ 10:34 pm (reply)

12.

Member

Stephalopolis (message) 73 posts, Worker bee

Ugh. I hate hate hate doing the guest list. I don’t know what to do in regards to it. We both have biggish families- and it doesn’t help that my parents are divorced and both remarried. But for the life of me, I can’t understand how my list of four families has only 9 more people than his list of 2 families and lots of family friends. And now, our invitation list exceeds our maximum capacity. When I talked to future mother in law earlier in the year, she said they only have about 60 people on their side that they would be inviting. Well, I got their guest list, and that 60 people has blossomed into 156. And that’s not including kids (which they couldn’t get me an exact number on, just “and family). I was trying to keep our guest list below 280 (max capacity) with hopefully 175 attending…. and now our guest list has 321 people on it. I know not everyone will be able to come… but the fact that we are over capacity scares the crap out of me.

9/14/11 @ 1:51 am (reply)

13.

Member

Ms. Anemone (message) 624 posts, Busy bee

Yes!
and JUST when I thought it was done driving me up the wall, another flare-up! At least this is the last of it (I hope!).

9/14/11 @ 2:04 am (reply)

14.

Member

amethystmeg (message) 135 posts, Blushing bee

UP the wall and OVER. I promise that it won’t be too crowded! If I may, I suggest just making sure that walking from place to place isn’t an issue. You could do cocktails outside and then people would have some space to move about then!

9/14/11 @ 2:27 am (reply)

15.

Bee

Miss Sunhat (message) 865 posts, Busy bee

The guest list is such an annoying thing. I was thanfully able to use Mr. BC’s brother’s guest list for his side of the family since his bro got married just last year. It was harder for me to track down people’s real names vs. their nicknames than anything else! Silly boys.

9/14/11 @ 9:14 am (reply)

16.

Member

BarbieJG (message) 1 posts, Wannabee

Don’t order your dress from Yes Bridal. I made the mistake of doing that and the dress looks horrible! Cheap price = cheap dress!

9/14/11 @ 9:45 am (reply)

17.

Bee

Miss Kettle (message) 909 posts, Busy bee

I feel your pain! I’m not sure if you had the addresses for all those guests on hand. But I pray that your must-have family invites are people you actually know their addresses. And how to spell their names. And their children’s names. And their spouse’s names. Good luck lady.

9/17/11 @ 7:38 am (reply)

18.

Bee

Miss Funnel Cake (message) 690 posts, Busy bee

We just had parents ignore their “quotas” we gave them and everyone kept adding to the list. It’s good that with your budget you can just “let go”. If we had to stick to a really small wedding, I would have been pulling my hair out!

9/23/11 @ 2:45 am (reply)