Quarter-Life Crisis Rant

Warning: this post is wordy and blabbersome.

Sometimes I think getting married in your mid-20s, during the whole quarter-life-crisis phase, is really just a great way to get yourself halfway down crazy street. Only halfway, though, not the full way. But maybe I am just halfway down the street because I still have a lot of time to go before the wedding is here. Maybe this is the why your 30s seems to be the “it” age range to get married in. Although, I do know more and more people getting married in their early- to mid-20s, which makes me wonder if we are all clinging to relationships to keep us sane. I have a theory about how the Sex and the City carefree generation shattered after 9-11 when we suddenly all realized life is screwed up and short (but that’s a deep tangent for another day).

I am always worrying about something stupid. Planning a wedding is just giving me more things to worry about. Recently it was: what if my DJ crashes his car (but doesn’t get hurt or anything—I’m not morbid when thinking of ridiculous situations that involve others, only when they involve me), and this causes all his DJ equipment to bust up, making him impossibly late to the wedding??? Who thinks like this? I’m not sure. But, really, what do you even do in a situation like that?

Although I am getting married, I swear, I feel like I am a child. A child bride walking down the aisle who is still trying to decide what to be when she grows up. Really, what DO I want to be when I grow up? I like books so I work with books, but what happened to the days when I wanted to be a writer? And then, there’s that whole design thing I am dabbling in at continuing-ed classes, but do I want a job where I am designing 40 hours a week? Maybe, perhaps, oh I don’t know. I just often wonder how it’s possible that I will have a HUSBAND, something that sounded so mature, adult, and beyond my kiddie brain even just five years ago.

I know I am having a quarter-life crisis like pretty much every other 20-something who graduated college not really knowing why they majored in what they majored in, but there is something weird about going through this while I plan my walk down the aisle. I always thought confused-with-life, broke chicks who like to go out on the weekends (but let’s be honest here, I’m just so tired now when it comes to dressing up and going out) were the single ones living on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in their studio apartments on the Upper East Side. I never associated them with girls like me who are getting married and making recipe binders. (Yeah, I know—who takes the time to make a recipe binder?) I just always believed married people had their sh*t together. They had very good jobs and concrete plans on what they wanted to do with their careers. They had sufficient funds in the bank and the possibility of buying a home. They didn’t worry about getting laid off because they had a sufficient savings cushion. I realize this is completely stupid considering the state of the economy. Also, thanks to shows like Teen Mom, I know it could be worse. (Oh, whoops, sorry. Did I say that out loud write that down?)

Maybe this is just the other way to do it. Finding a person who gets you when you still don’t get yourself. It’s about making it work when you don’t know what you yourself are working toward. After all, it really is the little things in life that you will take with you. Not your job or your career. Money comes and goes, or just goes but never comes. And you won’t remember the spreadsheet you created at 3:00 PM on a Tuesday. I often have to remind myself of these things as I lose my mind and put off doing things like re-formating my guest list.

Do you ever feel like being a Mrs. sounds old and funny?

BLOGGER

Mrs. Porcupine

Location:
NYC/Lancaster, PA
Wedding Date:
March 2012

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  1. Member
    ruffledbride 55 posts, Worker bee @ 12:30 pm

    YES! I know exactly what you mean! I will be 25 next month and I constantly ask myself…aren’t I still like, 12? It is the strangest feeling. But you are so right when you said it is the little things in life that you take with you. Love is what matters :-)

  2. Guest
    forzesej, Guest @ 12:40 pm

    this post is right in line with what i have been thinking about lately, thanks for making me feel like im not alone in my un-desire to grow up with a strong desire to grow up and move along all at the same time… so know you aren’t alone…lol

  3. Member
    Coffee cup 2319 posts, Buzzing bee @ 12:41 pm

    I get crazier than you every couple of days, and I’m not even in the hardcore-wedding-planning phase. We’re allowed to freak out, when you graduate, when you get married, when you get pregnant, when you give birth, your child’s first day of school, and then you start freaking out when your child goes through this.
    Take a deep breath and think about how you’re marring that awesome guy in front of you and how you’re going to be each others rock from now on. Than helps me so I hope it helps you :)

  4. Member
    Mrs. Ladyfingers 1256 posts, Bumble bee @ 1:08 pm

    Aw, breathe, Porcupine! One thing at a time – you don’t need to figure out your life right now. Also, I’m 31, don’t have enough in the bank to feel comfortable about being laid off, and still struggle with what I want to do “when I grow up.” Mr. Ladyfingers is 33 and he asks regularly what the heck he should do for a living. We both have full-time jobs – I think the adventure just never ends!

  5. Member
    Seaside 691 posts, Busy bee @ 1:24 pm

    I can definitely identify with this! Great post.
    And also, I have a recipe binder.

  6. Member
    vmblai1019 922 posts, Busy bee @ 1:48 pm

    I found myself pondering the same things just a few weeks ago. I guess I finally realized “Holy S*** I’m getting MARRIED…” But the adventure and spontaneity of life is what makes it all worth while. And life is definitely too short to worry about spreadsheets you make up on a Tuesday at 3:00 PM. It’s harder to live by that philosophy than just telling ourselves to live by it though.

  7. Member
    toshella 730 posts, Busy bee @ 2:33 pm

    Thank you thank you for this post. I’ve been quarter life crisis-ing for the last 2? 3? years?? Why haven’t I gotten my life together yet??! I love planning a wedding, but sometimes I think, How much more could I be doing if I weren’t spending 4 hours a day looking at bouquets and wedding dresses? Maybe I’d have found a job I actually like by now, or at least added to my resume!

    Uh, yeah. At least we have our recipe binders.

  8. Member
    southerntransplant 306 posts, Helper bee @ 4:37 pm

    Oh my goodness, you wrote exactly how I was feeling today! And yesterday…and pretty much for at least a month bahaha.

  9. Member
    southerntransplant 306 posts, Helper bee @ 4:38 pm

    Oh my goodness, you wrote exactly how I was feeling today! And yesterday…and pretty much for at least a month bahaha.

  10. Member
    southerntransplant 306 posts, Helper bee @ 4:39 pm

    Ugh, sorry for the double post.

  11. Member
    gymdive22 184 posts, Blushing bee @ 5:55 pm

    Just gotta say, I also have a recipe binder. In fact I may soon have two recipe binder because the current one is busting at the seams! :)

  12. Member
    TinyTina 3312 posts, Sugar bee @ 6:45 pm

    OMG I just want to reach out and give you a huge hug right now.

    I’m turning 26 soon and getting married in 9 months. I’ve been having a quarter life crisis for a year now (are they suppose to last that long?!) I have a crap degree that’s not going to get me anywhere and an even crappier job. Every woman in my department is older than me and single. My friends are all single and dating. And here I am, 25 years old and getting married?? WTF am I thinking??

    Then I remind myself that FI and I have been together for 6 years, we love each other and we’ve started to build an incredible life together. I might not have my shit together (and I probably never will), but at least I found someone who loves me anyways.

    I’m sorry this comment is so long and rambling, but you really, really hit close to home with this post. Thanks for letting me know that I’m not alone. :)

  13. Member
    jennyDtobe 222 posts, Helper bee @ 7:10 pm

    this post makes me feel SO much better. I will be 25 next month and I feel like I’ve been having a crisis since last winter! I dont know how my fiance deals with me! But you are right, its the little things that matter. Hopefully we arent all as crazy as we feel :)

  14. Member
    Mrs. Porcupine 633 posts, Busy bee @ 7:45 pm

    Glad so many of you ladies can resonate with my insanity! :) It looks like we’re all in the same boat. Maybe all those people who have their stuff together are actually the weirdo ones. haha.

  15. Member
    LibbyLoo 315 posts, Helper bee @ 9:21 pm

    Shhh….here’s a secret: no one has their stuff together. At least not completely. And anyone who tells you otherwise is lying to you. I’m 33 – I certainly have it MORE together than I did when I was 25 but just barely. I think once you accept that you have very little control over this crazy train called life, the ride gets a lot more enjoyable.

  16. Member
    jnfursttobe 87 posts, Worker bee @ 2:10 am

    YES, YES and YEEEEES!!! So glad you wrote this post! I was beginning to think I was going crazy but I totally agree with everything you said. Case in point: not having to cook after a long day of work/working out because there’s two slices of pizza for waiting for me = little thing being the highlight of my day.

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