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Mrs. Honey, Durango, CO Age and Occupation: 28, Financial Assistant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Lab Tech/Phlebotomist Engagement Date: August 1, 2010 Wedding Date: January 2012 Venue: Vallecito Lake About Me: I am a Colorado girl through and through, marrying an adrenaline-fueled Alabama boy. We love the outdoors just about as much as we love spoiling our dog and three cats. On any given weekend you can find us being adventurous, doing anything from rafting to snowboarding, and everything in between. We live in an outdoor mecca and truly believe in "Work Hard, Play Harder." I'm an optimist to the core, a crafter wannabe, a Southern food cook-in-training and a big time believer in girls nights. We met, fell in love and got engaged in eight short months and are now knee-deep in planning what we hope to be a super-fun, very us wedding celebration. Join us as we plan a rustic meets whimsical, Colorado winter wedding with loads of personal touches and good food!
About Miss Honey

Don’t Worry

September 15th, 2011 @ 6:57 pm by Mrs. Honey

I thank Bob Marley for my title, for one of the best songs ever, and for our budget mantra. The budget is a very sticky situation for the Honeys, as it is for most couples planning/buying/saving for their wedding. We have set a rough budget that we don’t want to go over, which is about a quarter less than the average wedding cost in our area. While we are I am comfortable with that number, I typically say we don’t have a budget. Is our budget limitless? The exact opposite, actually. We don’t have a budget because we simply don’t have the money. It’s like we are constantly adding to the account, breaking it, and then fixing it and starting all over. 

Don't Worry  :  wedding budget durango Broken broken+
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We have three parties contributing to our big day; my parents, Mr. Honey’s dad, and us. We all contribute when we can, but it’s that ’when we can’ part that gets tough. My parents work their butts off to pay their bills each month and unfortunately sometimes there isn’t excess.

Mr. Honey’s dad has the best of intentions but he lives a thousand miles away and sometimes the topic of money falls by the wayside. And for us, well, we aren’t known as the best savers around, that’s for sure. We have a wedding savings account that is growing as I write, but I find myself purchasing things from our joint account “because we have money in there right now, we might as well save the money in the savings account for larger purchases or when mu own account is looking low”. I keep every receipt in my wedding file, whether purchased from our joint account or from the wedding account. Currently we have spent pennies in comparison to our budget, but I know with our wedding particular, a lot of expenses are going to occur in the month leading up to the day.

I wanted to address this for a couple reasons; one because I feel like I keep dropping the ’we can’t afford it’ line or the ’it’s not in our budget’ reason and also because I just talked to BM Fawn who is currently engaged and is in almost the exact same budget boat as we are…which made me think there must be other couples out there who are budgeting as they go, not budgeting with what they have. Sometimes I feel cheap, like when I talked about not wanting/able to pay for the photographer of our dreams. Other times, though I feel damn proud of myself, like creating the majority of our dessert table for under $30 (I say majority, because it is still a work in progress).

There’s a lot we are scrapping or working really extra hard to find alternatives to, in order to afford not just a few important things, but the whole shindig. Our venue was so affordable, our photography is coming in for free, and we are doing a hekuva lot of DIY in order to accomplish the look and feel we want for the price we have to do it for. I’m envious of the brides who have the pot to grab from…not just the high-budget brides, but the ones who have the money already, whether that amount is two thousand or two-hundred thousand. Having the money available is our qualm with the budget. I’d be much more content if our budget wasn’t dependent on what we put in this week or next, but rather the amount that is already there. Yes, we could have put off our wedding and saved, but that strategy just wouldn’t work for us. We are the types that just go for it; plus it’s giving us some great money management skills to work on pre-marriage. No matter how you cut it, budgets suck, and I do realize that even if your budget is on the higher end, it’s still a budget.

Don't Worry  :  wedding budget durango Platinu platinu
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There are days that I panic and am ready to eat Ramen noodles for the next four months but that’s when my mom chimes in and says, “Don’t worry, it will be alright.” We can’t really go over a budget that doesn’t exist, or when there isn’t money to go over. This may sound disastrous or haphazard to others, and it is certainly not ideal, but it’s working for us. Perhaps I find comfort in the fact that our wedding will be taking place just after the year ends (year end bonuses, cha-ching!) but I do have faith that we will have a wedding that we created at a price we won’t lose too much sleep over. I have always found budget posts from previous bees really helpful and insightful, and I can’t wait to share ours with you in the future, whatever our budget happens to be in the end.

Do you have a less-than-concrete budget? Are you going to create Platinum for Paper Plates?

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25 Responses to “Don’t Worry”

1 2 

1.
Coffee cup
Member
Coffee cup (message)  1,839 posts, Buzzing bee

We have the ‘idea of a budget’ meaning we don’t have the money but we know the amount we’re able to expend. We’re saving and paying things as they come, also thanks to weddingbee I have a million DIY projects I’m planning to do.
I do think that having a wedding you created will really make it more special.

 
2.
moosey
Member
moosey (message)  251 posts, Helper bee

We are the exact same way… our budget is ‘as cheap as we can, when we have it.’ What seems to happen is we have one chunk of money a month that isn’t entirely spoken for, and that’s what we’re using a bit of each month to pay for a few things.

Neither of our families have mentioned anything about money although my mother will be helping with it in a way– she’s doing our flowers and found us a free venue, to start.

It’s the big ticket items that are scaring me. We’re pricing out rentals like plates, tables, linens, and the biggie, a tent, and I don’t know where the money will come from. I’m not sure how we’re going to feed people yet because I don’t think we can afford a caterer.

Some would say to wait until we have the funds saved, or to hold a smaller wedding, but I really think we will be able to pull it off, bit by bit, until it’s done and we’re happy.

 
3.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Magic (message)  628 posts, Busy bee

I actually can go over budget when there isn’t a budget. We never had one either and I tried to just do everything as cheap as possible, but…it’s still a lot. Good luck - you will likely do better than me, as I am number / financially challenged. :-)

 
4.
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Member
Shawna081498 (message)  11 posts, Newbee

We are the same way too but when I went to wedding wire.com I realized that there are SO many vendors that need work and it is ok to ask for a discount or to counter offers. I can’t imagine paying the amount that a lot of the vendors are quoting.

 
5.
Guest Icon
Guest
Christina

Finally! Thank You! I was beginning to think we were alone in the “what budget?” group! There’s a little savings, but we’re mostly just buying as we go, when we can - taking advantage of sales, livingsocials, groupons, etc. I know it will work out beautifully in the end, irregardless of how much we spend. My mantra all along has been - $50k or $5k, the end result is the same - I’ll be married to my best friend, and that’s all that matters :)

 
6.
Member
Katie98 (message)  90 posts, Worker bee

I am in a similar situation as well. And we just moved! AHHHH!
This site is great for getting ideas and be sure to check out the classified ads. Have you signed up on theknot.com? I swear I get an email from them and weddingchannel.com eveyday offering discounts much like groupon. I also got my dress already from David’s Bridal, they have law-away!
Good luck to you!

 
7.
Ms. Wolf
Member
Ms. Wolf (message)  127 posts, Blushing bee

We’re in the exact same boat. We have pretty much no savings to speak of so when I buy something for the wedding it’s from whatever didn’t go to bills. I keep all my receipts so we’ll find out what the budget was when it’s done!

 
8.
Guest Icon
Guest
viv

dont worry. everything will be fine…I find that i’m a couple thousands over my budget and i stopped and think do i really need all these stuff? Will guest really notice that the bridesmaids are wearing different shoes? Will they really notice that the favours are homemade cookies and not expensive bought macarons? No they won’t…
i think most important is that you enjoy the day because its for you and mr honey! So dont worry too much :)

I have friends who got married by just signing the paper..nothing else and they are happy as hell…

so dont stress! It will be great!

 
9.
chaeinlove
Member
chaeinlove (message)  83 posts, Worker bee

The position i’m in is very similar. We pushed the wedding back a year and a half just for money reasons. Finally I am happy to say we have a little bit of money put away and much more on the way - thank heavens for deployments! Also when we were first engaged I purchased my dream wedding dress and paid cash for it, so I dont include that in my budget. The only thing I’m really concerned about is the food! Catering at my venue is quite expensive, a trick i’m sure considering the price of the venue was something we just couldn’t pass up, ESPECIALLY for the area. And they don’t allow outside catering, either. Plus alcohol? We are young, 22 & 23, so having a wedding without alcohol for all our guests would pretty much be out of the question. But how much? It’s going to be an interesting 6 months. I’m greatful for such a thoughtful and caring FH though :)

 
10.
tinylittlebird
Member
tinylittlebird (message)  1,695 posts, Bumble bee

This is sort of similar to what happened to us.

It’s sometimes really challenging to have a concrete, every-penny-accounted-for type of budget, because sometimes you don’t have a lot of options available, or there may be unforeseen expenses.

For us, we had a rough idea of a “maximum”, we saved for the wedding as we went, and we used the wedding account when we needed to buy things for the wedding (and sometimes when we were broke…)

As we got closer to the wedding, we had to sit down and figure out how much money we had to pay vendors, and compare that to how much money we actually had available in the account/going into the account.

We were close, but still about $600 short. Luckily, DH had a few bonds that had matured, so we cashed one in for $1000 and everything was A-ok.

At some point, even if you’re not a budgeter, everybody has to make sure they’ve got money to pay everyone :D

 
11.
thirdtimebride
Member
thirdtimebride (message)  356 posts, Helper bee

This is why we’re having a long (2 years and a smidge) engagement–we’re paying for it ourselves and I, personally, can only scratch out $100 a month from my already tight personal budget, and he’s matching me $ for $. (Trying to pay off credit cards simultaneously.)

Still, we’re not shooting for Platinum from Paper Plates, more like White Gold from Scrap Metal ;-)

 
12.
Member Icon
Member
Future Army Wife (message)  1,101 posts, Bumble bee

We’re also doing budgeting as we go along. Honestly, the only reason we can afford our wedding (without family contributions which have been offered) is because my fiance is deployed. I’m living off of my salary alone.

 
13.
HummusGal
Member
HummusGal (message)  117 posts, Blushing bee

THANK YOU for this post… I can totally relate and it makes me feel so much better to know I’m in good company of other planners out there… :) We are in the same boat… we have a bit of a “starter” budget from my parents that I’m SO grateful for, but sadly, everything adds up so quickly, that it doesn’t go far — especially when you’re likely inviting close to 200 guests :-/ We are trying to save a certain amount each month — with a goal of hitting a X amount saved the month or two before the wedding. Stressful to know you’re planning to spend money you don’t have yet!

BUT– IT WILL WORK OUT!!! :) Stay positive brides and plan the heck out of your big day, regardless of the bottom line… it will be perfect.

PS - GREAT comic!

 
14.
WhatPicketFence
Member
WhatPicketFence (message)  113 posts, Blushing bee

Finally a post I really feel I can relate to. We’re in just about the same boat. We’ve had to push the wedding back twice now for financial reasons and this time we just said “to heck with it!” We realized that if we waited until we had the typical wedding cost saved up, (we’re paying for everything but my dress and bouquet) we’d probably be waiting another two years. Luckily all this time allowed me to do some hardcore DIY research and a million cost comparisons. We have about $3k saved. That will cover the caterer, (a family friend) and an beautiful & historical venue for our modest guest list of 75.
The rest is save and spend as we go. I’ve been obsessively scouring sales and classifieds every day. Even my FH is on a constant lookout for a good wedding worthy deal. I agree its not ideal. I like to know I’m prepared for things and this style of planning kinda prevents that. Still, its kind of fun in a way. I’ll be proud of the outcome because we’ll have worked so hard as a team. And oh yeah, finally getting married is gonna be a pretty sweet reward for the work.

 
15.
peacockchris
Member
peacockchris (message)  369 posts, Helper bee

Right there with you! We have a “budget” that we dont want to exceed, but we are definitely paying for the wedding as we go. My parents and his are helping in some areas as well, but it is us paying for most of the stuff. My mom always tells me the exact same thing “It’ll be alright”. And I honestly trust her. I wish we already had the money stashed somewhere, but we dont so we are doing the pay as you go plan like cell phones!! lol :-)

 
16.
Member Icon
Member
FutureMrsKuck (message)  82 posts, Worker bee

We are in a similar situation. We have figured out how much we can save between now and then, and just are budgeting to do things as cheaply as we can and still stay under the amount we can save (including honeymoon). It makes me really anxious to not have all of the money right now, but I am trying to stay positive we wont have anything go wrong between now and then that will hurt our ability to save.

 
17.
SandyThePoet
Member
SandyThePoet (message)  1,359 posts, Bumble bee

We have a nickel and dime budget, and like you, I wish I had a chunk of money available where I can just buy things for the wedding on a whim. Just today I agonized over whether I could I buy a yard of satin to make the ring bearer pillows and flower girl baskets, or did we need that for gas money for the car? Satin or 2 gallons of gas. Sucks to be us sometimes. I went to the fabric store, and as luck would have it, there was a bolt of ivory satin fabric that only had 1 1/2 yards left on it and the clerk told me I could have it for $3.00. YAY so I got that, and still had enough for a little gas for the car too. It was a win win day after all.

 
18.
Member Icon
Member
firebugj16 (message)  101 posts, Blushing bee

Wow its like you’re reading my mind about our budget, or lack thereof. My parents are paying for the majority of the big stuff. My dad gave us a ‘budget’ based on his limited knowledge of wedding costs (I’m the only girl and my bro had a very untraditional wedding). I felt bad when I went over what he gave as the ‘dress budget’ and figured we could cut costs elsewhere with DIY, but he just replied that the budget was just a guideline and not a limit.

My FI and I say that we have Miller Lite tastes on a Sam Adams budget, so it should work out that we won’t break our own small piggy banks to pay for what we need to.

 
19.
marisol729
Member
marisol729 (message)  58 posts, Worker bee

Oh yeah!! I can totally relate to this as well!!
Our situation is a bit different since we “eloped” when we were in my home country, Mexico, 4 yrs ago. I think once you are married, there is less of that “sense of urgency” on the whole having a full blown wedding… So after putting it off for almost 5 yrs, we have decided to take that step and get married in front of our family and close friends! :) We are doing everything, my parents, although have the best intentions as well, live paycheck to paycheck and can’t really help all that much… my mom has helped me plenty though, she paid for my dress and accessories (which I tried to keep under $1000 so that I wouldn’t break her bank acct!), and FH parents are helping some… but it is mostly us budgeting for the wedding… I have been doing a lot of DIY projects and pretty much, anything that I have been getting is with coupons from Michael’s, Joane’s and Hobby Lobby. Plus found some nice glass jars at Goodwill, (which I just thoroughly wash and disinfect! lol!) borrowed things, etc… I am very proud to say that I have saved a TON thanks to all the DIY projects and this wonderful website and all the GREAT ideas that I get from other bees here!! :)

 
20.
futuremrssendek
Member
futuremrssendek (message)  58 posts, Worker bee

Hey there! We are going through the same thing… We wanted a NYE wedding- FI thought it would be a great idea to rent a mansion on the beach and have a cocktail style reception/ NYE bash. We originally set a budget of 20K… then we fell in love with a photog who is expensive, fell in love with a mansion (the owner told us the last person to rent his house on NYE was Cher… gimme a break)… So long story short, I can’t even see my budget line, we’re so far over it. We got some help from both sides, FI asked for a raise, and I’m working at 2 hospitals as a nurse to try to make enough money to at least get all our down payments covered and then we’ll just be improvising. At first I thought it was ridiculous to spend so much money on one day… but the further I got into the planning; the more I realized that it’s worth it to have a wonderful, extravagant day to celebrate your love that will hopefully last a lifetime.

 
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Mrs. Honey
Mrs. Honey

Mrs. Honey, Durango, CO Age and Occupation: 28, Financial Assistant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Lab Tech/Phlebotomist Engagement Date: August 1, 2010 Wedding Date: January 2012 Venue: Vallecito Lake About Me: I am a Colorado girl through and through, marrying an adrenaline-fueled Alabama boy. We love the outdoors just about as much as we love spoiling our dog and three cats. On any given weekend you can find us being adventurous, doing anything from rafting to snowboarding, and everything in between. We live in an outdoor mecca and truly believe in "Work Hard, Play Harder." I'm an optimist to the core, a crafter wannabe, a Southern food cook-in-training and a big time believer in girls nights. We met, fell in love and got engaged in eight short months and are now knee-deep in planning what we hope to be a super-fun, very us wedding celebration. Join us as we plan a rustic meets whimsical, Colorado winter wedding with loads of personal touches and good food!

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