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When Mr. Warbs and I started planning for the wedding, we agreed on a couple of things right off the bat. First, we decided to limit the guest list to 50 people. Weddings of 200–300 guests are great, but I have no idea how you are supposed to spend time with all of your guests. Besides, I don’t even know 200 people. Second, we decided that, other than my nieces and adorable nephew, we will be having an adult reception.
Say whaaat? / Gif via fanpop.com
I don’t hate kids. They’re cute, cuddly, and give me excuses to play with toys. In fact, here are a few of my favorite kids:
My two nieces and me
My nephew
*All photos are personal unless noted otherwise.
But on occasion, they can also be scene-stealing, screaming, moody creatures. While I don’t want to upset any of our guests, I want them to have a good time and not worry about their children. OK, without sounding like a bridezilla, I also don’t want to have to worry about their children. I may not understand because I don’t have any kids myself, but I don’t think I would be upset if a bride made the same request. And with only 50 guests, I’d rather enjoy my wedding day with adults rather than two- and three-year-olds who won’t remember the day anyway. Maybe I can write “enjoy a night out without the kids” on our invites?
How about you, hive? Any other adults-only receptions?
We’re not inviting children, either. Honestly, I held out for a while because I really didn’t want to ask our out-of-town guests to find alternate arrangements. But our venue holds 80 people, and if everybody brought their kid, that would be 20 kids. That’s 1/4 of our guest list, and frankly, we wanted to open those spaces to adult guests who we wouldn’t otherwise have been able to invite.
We left a space for number of seats reserved on the RSVP card and pre-filled it in for them appropriately. People, so far, have gotten the hint without us having to say anything else. I’ve also seen, “Regretfully, we are unable to accommodate children,” and “Adults-only reception” printed small on the invite. We preferred not to go that route.
There have been a few people who have said no because they can’t leave their kids, but we stand by our decision, and figured that might happen!
Your nieces and nephew are adorable! Love the Harry Potter reference and I can definitely understand the desire to avoid the drama that is lots of kids at a wedding.
We’re going the same route…no children unless they are in the wedding. I plan to put something like, “We have reserved ___ seats for you” on the invites.
I like the “Regretfully, we are unable…” wording and may use that on the invites as well.
Our wedding is a little bigger, 150 people, and we are having children at ours. I like kids too much not to have them there!
I hear ya! We are getting married in 12 days actually!!! (yippeee) We are having a small intimate wedding with 35-40 guests… I stated on the RSVP… “This is an adult only celebration due to limited space”
@Miss Ladyfingers: Yeah! Stand firm!
@AGIJAY: We’re also planning on using the “We have reserved ___ seats for you” on the invites, but I’m afraid some people might still include their children anyway.
@cfarmer: Ah! 12 days! How can you concentrate?! The limited space line is a good idea!
We also had to make the same decision.
We included kids who were family - and friends with kids that we are personally very close with (we have been in my bestfriends sons life since he was born) so to us, that is like family. But as far as people with kids who we dont really know, or have never met - we did the same, leave the # of seats reserved empty, and fill it in with the number of adults. This really does work to give people the hint.
Also, people understand that when you are having a smaller wedding (ours is 80 guests, and that includes the 12 people in the wedding party) that even though it would be nice to be able to invite everyone - you would need to leave out someone who may be close to you, so people can bring their kids. I dont thnk that is fair to the bride (&groom)
Enjoy your wedding day! =)
I understand completely. We are already inviting 185 to our wedding, and that’s without kids! Since I am in my 30’s, ALL my friends and family have at least 2 kids each, and that would add about 35 kids, most under the age of 5! Too much, too much…for so many reasons..
@Miss Warbler
I CAN’T concentrate?! My mind is reeling with the tiny last minute things to do..ARGHHHH!!!
But I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!!! THANKS
I don’t care if kids come to the reception, in fact I guess I’d rather see them. (And certainly wouldn’t want kids to keep people at home when I so rarely get to see them). That said… we’ll probably only have two kids at the wedding. My nephew and my cousins’s baby. I’m pretty sure it’s going to stay a mostly adult affair. 
I think it’s smart to cut kids out if you are on a guest/budget list. They often don’t appreciate/won’t remember your wedding anyway. (And they’re no fun to drink with!) 
First: Your nephew.. gourgeous.
Second: We’re having a ‘no kids allowed’ (it does sound polite in spanish) quote in our invites. But we’re allowing family kids and that makes a total of 27! So we’re having small tables and pizza for them, but I do get your point and I do think it’ll be nice for some guests to be able to have a night out without kids.
Yes! We are having adults only, with the exception of family children (who are fortunately few) and our very bestest friends’ two kids who are members of the wedding party. Its cheaper to not invite the children of everyone you know. Fortunately or unfortunately. =)
My FI and I originally wanted a kid free reception as well (with an exception for nieces and nephews). But, since my first cousins range in ages from a few years older to me down to recently out of diapers, we’re running into some tricky decisions.
We’ve been told that we can’t pick and choose based on an age limit. So, I’m not 100% sure where that leaves us… Either we cut invites off at aunts and uncles or include cousins and end up with way more children than we planned on.
Overall, this seems to be quite the hot button topic for guest list creation.
I am doing the same. 50 guests and no kids. I don’t have as many kids in my life as you seem to, but I didn’t want to have to worry about them on the day. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. As far as writing that on the invites, I would if it’s kind of a fun-theme; if not, I’d phrase it differently.
Good luck!
We’re only having fifty guests, too! However, we are letting everybody bring their kids, and they are including in the fifty. Most people we know just don’t have kids. There will be two babies, my flower girl and then two other underaged kids, and that’s it. I just don’t feel the need to prohibit that small number! Only two of them are related to us, though.
If there are more than just a few children involved, though, I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask for their absence. When I was a child, a wedding I attended were totally inappropriate for me! When I was about ten, the terribly drunk groom that I had never met before tried to make me dance with him. I was so scared! I had never met a drunk person before! Thinking of this, I respect people who make the decision to have an adult reception. The trick of saying “we have reserved __ seats” is usually pretty effective at getting the message across clearly. Although, I have heard stories of people not getting the hint. I think you will always have to tell at least a couple people very directly that their kids are not invited!
We’re having kids, but we only have four to invite! And, they’re all family. So, I guess that kind of worked out for us.
Your little nephew is TOO precious!!
As much as FI and I both love kids, unless they’re in the wedding or the child’s parent is traveling from across the country to attend, mommy and daddy can get a babysitter!
We’re inviting children, but we just happen to be lucky I think that there will be none in the toddler/running around causing trouble age! Just a few babies.
We’re having kids because I don’t want my friends and family to miss out if they can’t get a babysitter. My hope is to turn the bridal suite into a kid area (it’s a small room off the main reception room) for the party. That way, children and children problems will not interfere with my partying.
We’ve got a couple kids in the wedding party, and of course they will be there.
But we are trying to whittle down our guest list, and I guess I never thought that I could just not include kids, but that is an enticing idea! There’s no way my cousin could come without bringing her kids though, and I’m not sure I’m want to put her in the situation where she’d have to choose. We also are inviting some family friends who have 3 boys…and I would definitely prefer they were not at the wedding (I forsee lots of running and hitting if they were there).
Would people find it rude if you just invite children that are in the family? Because that sounds like it might be a good option!
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Miss Warbler, Long Beach/Malibu Age and Occupation: 24, Quality Assurance Editor Fiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Handheld Administrator Engagement Date: December 7, 2010 Wedding Date: April 2012 Venue: Calamigos Ranch Malibu About Me: I’m a Korean BBQ loving, cheesecake enthusiast bride living in the LBC! By day I write and edit for an online search engine marketing company. By night I am a volunteer food taster of all that is delicious. I am fortunate to be marrying an amazing man who loves me and my quirky ways. I love food, books, indie music, and Harry Potter. We are planning a small, intimate wedding up in the Malibu Hills with our closest family and friends. With the help of my wonderful fiance, our loved ones, and red velvet cheesecake, our wedding will be glorious!
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