Weddingbee Blog

Mr. Cannon and I have noticed a strange occurrence in the world of weddings—the need to warn men about the terrors of marriage. It started at his job. He works in a factory and when some of the other guys heard he was getting married they started telling him how horrible marriage is and how he should avoid the whole thing. He pointed out we’ve lived together for years and have an almost two year old together and are happy, but they still insisted that getting married ruins everything, and that everything would change once we got married.

Next, he went on a job interview, where the man interviewing him gave him the “Don’t do it!” speech. Yes, this man was essentially a stranger. And of course, there were many warnings from co-workers, friends, and strangers alike that his bachelor party would be the last time he ever had fun in his life. Apparently, it’s all downhill from getting drunk and going to a strip club in Detroit. That’s a pretty depressing thought.

But my point is—what is up with the idea that marriage is so bad?

Now, I’m sure some of the guys were joking, but some of them actually meant it and relayed stories of their own horrible marriages in an attempt to deter him from getting married. Quite honestly, I’m not sure why people stay in these horrible marriages. But then, I don’t get this whole “marriage is the end of your life”-type proclamations by society as a whole. There is a strange stereotype that women are forcing men into marriage, and then proceeding to harp on them as if life is some type of sitcom. This idea is so prevalent that the bride dragging the groom is a whole genre of cake toppers. And the idiot man-child is pretty much expected to make an appearance in sitcoms and movies, while the women in his life sigh and annoy him endlessly with their nagging. And I get that a lot of this stuff is meant to be a joke, and I certainly find it to be funny at times, but it bothers me in a lot of ways.

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It feels like we’re constantly being reminded that settling down is the end of our personal growth, our outside relationships, and our happiness itself. And this seems to go doubly for men (who we all know would be super-cool, suave, jet-setting bachelors if they weren’t tied down with all of us fat old cows and our constant complaining.) The funny part is that even though women are stereotyped as having to deal with lazy losers whenever we get married, for some reason we’re still supposed to be excited about the wedding. No one has warned ME not to do it. Only him. I guess we’re supposed to be excited about the possibility of bitching at our husband for the rest of our lives.

I guess I just don’t understand the idea of getting married to someone you don’t like, or even more so, STAYING married to someone you don’t like. It’s not like divorce is a social taboo anymore, or that you HAVE to get married. What is causing all these people to be so miserable with their life decisions and why are they attempting to pass their misery to others? Will I feel differently after I get married? Will I start warning every single lady I meet not to get married? Will everything really change and be horrible?

Have you or your partner been warned not to get married? If you’re already married, did your relationship deteriorate after the wedding? Also, I’m very interested to hear if this warning phenomena still occurs in same sex couples or if it’s just some weird hetero male ritual.