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Miss Warbler, Long Beach/Malibu Age and Occupation: 24, Quality Assurance Editor Fiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Handheld Administrator Engagement Date: December 7, 2010 Wedding Date: April 2012 Venue: Calamigos Ranch Malibu About Me: I’m a Korean BBQ loving, cheesecake enthusiast bride living in the LBC! By day I write and edit for an online search engine marketing company. By night I am a volunteer food taster of all that is delicious. I am fortunate to be marrying an amazing man who loves me and my quirky ways. I love food, books, indie music, and Harry Potter. We are planning a small, intimate wedding up in the Malibu Hills with our closest family and friends. With the help of my wonderful fiance, our loved ones, and red velvet cheesecake, our wedding will be glorious!
About Miss Warbler

We Forgot the Ceremony!

September 23rd, 2011 @ 3:55 pm by Miss Warbler

We Forgot the Ceremony!  :  wedding ceremony malibu Home Al home-al

Image via Chicago Now

It seems like with everything that goes into planning a wedding, sometimes the ceremony is overlooked. Just me? Fine! I’ve put most of my energy into picking the right photographer, food and minutiae that I forgot all about the ceremony. Like, seriously. Whoops!

Somewhere during the initial stages of Operation Wedding, we briefly scribbled down what we wanted for the ceremony. In fact Mr. Warbs and I sat down to write separate lists of what we wanted for the wedding. We then read over each others’ lists and crossed off three things we didn’t agree with. At the time Mr. Warbs thought this was a list of what we wanted in life in general. Which is why his first pick is Shakey’s Bunch a Lunch. Never make your fiance do wedding activities on an empty stomach, ladies.

We Forgot the Ceremony!  :  wedding ceremony malibu Dsc0112 DSC0112

My list might have been a tad longer.

Aside from my horrible penmanship and spelling errors, I’m really sad that I didn’t include anything regarding the actual ceremony. You know that thing that actually unites us as husband and wife? So Mr. Warbs and I sat down to talk about what we wanted. We both agreed that we didn’t want a super long ceremony. Surprisingly, Mr. Warbs agreed that we would write our own vows. He is painfully shy and doesn’t usually like being the center of attention. But he is dead set on writing vows that will either make me cry or make my face melt from the super awesomeness. We have a bet going to see who will cry first.

Aside from writing our own vows, I also wanted to include a small ceremony within the ceremony. At my cousin’s wedding, she used the ever popular Unity Candle. I’m not sure if this is a component in every Unity Candle ceremony, but my cousin had her mother and her husband’s mother each light a candle. The mothers placed their candles on the small table at the altar and the bride and groom lit the large candle with their mothers’ candles and them out. Mr. Warbs was NOT a fan of this, because to him it represented removing the mothers from the bride and groom’s life.

We Forgot the Ceremony!  :  wedding ceremony malibu Unity C unity-c

Image via A Perfect Little Wedding

Next up, we looked at Unity Sand. It is basically the same as the Unity Candle, except you’re pouring different colored sand into a container. You then display the sand somewhere in your home. I wasn’t a fan of this one, because it just didn’t seem to fit our personalities. And I could just see one of us knocking over the sand one day.

We Forgot the Ceremony!  :  wedding ceremony malibu Unity S unity-s

Image via Lynchburg Bridal Guide

Lastly, we checked out the Wine Box and Love Letter ceremony. I’ve never heard of this or seen it at another wedding before so I was intrigued. During the ceremony, the bride and groom place two glasses, a bottle of wine and sealed letters to each other in a box and nail it shut. If the couple should ever have trouble in their marriage, before making any rash decisions they would open the box, drink some wine and read each others’ letters. If the couple doesn’t have any problems they can open the box on a major wedding anniversary.

We Forgot the Ceremony!  :  wedding ceremony malibu Love Le love-le

Image via Heather Neckers Photography

This tradition appealed to us the most, not just because we drink a lot of wine (we drink a TON of wine), but also because it’s realistic. More than half of marriages end in divorce. Nobody is perfect, everyone has problems whether they’re big or small. I think it’s honest to acknowledge that sometimes we all need a fail-safe to get through it.

What traditions are you incorporating in your ceremony?

Tags: ceremony, malibu |
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19 Responses to “We Forgot the Ceremony!”

1.
MissMogwai
Member
MissMogwai (message)  32 posts, Newbee

Wow! I love the Wine Box and Letter ceremony. I really like the idea of when you are having major problems, opening the box, drinking wine, and traveling back to your wedding day and your SO’s feelings for you/hopes for your marriage. I think we will be incorporating this into our ceremony as well!

 
2.
soontobeMrsEschberger
Member
soontobeMrsEschberger (message)  346 posts, Helper bee

My fiance & I didn’t really care for the unity candle or the sand either, they just didn’t “fit” us (also, we have seen it a lot & we really wanted something different!) So a few weeks ago I was looking on weddingbee, just messing around, and I came across the Wine Box & Love Letter ceremony, I called FI right then & told him all about it & he loved it! So we decided to do the Wine Box & Love Letter ceremony too! We absolutely LOVE it!! :)

 
3.
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Bee
Mrs. Pony (message)  4,174 posts, Honey bee

We did the wine box and everyone loved it! Plus you get to pick out a fancy bottle of wine to enjoy in the future!

 
4.
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Member
Future Army Wife (message)  1,102 posts, Bumble bee

We’re not doing any of the ceremonies with the ceremony. I like the idea of writing letters and saving them for later. Just have to convince my man to do it.

 
5.
Garnety
Member
Garnety (message)  318 posts, Helper bee

To us, the exchange of wedding rings is the ultimate symbol of unity and love, so we’re not doing any of these other things.

 
6.
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Bee
Miss Fox (message)  859 posts, Busy bee

I really love the idea of the Wine Box ceremony.. and not just because I’m a fellow wino ;) I think, in a possible time of hardship, it would be really nice to have a reminder of why you love the other person, why you chose to commit to them.

And don’t worry.. even though we haven’t technically “forgotten” the ceremony yet.. it surely hasn’t been thought about about too much as of late. I should probably get on that, huh?!

 
7.
Ocean
Member
Ocean (message)  223 posts, Helper bee

Not really wedding related, but the day my daughter graduated from pre-school I wrote a letter to her and placed it in an envelope upon which I wrote “Do Not Open Until Graduation Day 2008!” I sealed that sucker and put it in my sock drawer. For thirteen years (K-12) that letter stayed in my sock drawer! I don’t know how but as the years went I somehow managed to resist the urge to open it and read it. Often times, I completely forgot about it.

As her senior year in high school started, I began telling friends about this letter. The reaction I received was ASTOUNDING!! Her friends’ parents thought it was totally the best idea they had ever heard and wished they had done something similar. One the day of her graduation, after she was dressed in her cap and gown, but before we headed to the ceremony, I handed her the letter. I can’t begin to tell you how emotional that moment was for both of us.

So, I guess what I am saying is I’m all for writing down your feelings to be shared on a day way off into the future ;-)

 
8.
julis120
Member
julis120 (message)  115 posts, Blushing bee

I soooo hear you about the ceremony. We’ve pretty much neglected it in our planning. We’re still far out, so I think I’m going to finish the reception planning then dive into the ceremony. I’ve never heard of the wine box, but it’s a really neat idea. I also saw a unity tree on TLC, have you checked that idea out?

 
9.
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Bee
Mrs. Hyena (message)  1,881 posts, Buzzing bee

We decided not to do any of the traditional “unity” ceremonies, and instead served communion to all our guests as a way of sharing in the ceremony with them! I loved it!

 
10.
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Bee
Miss Warbler (message)  154 posts, Blushing bee

@Ocean: Wow, that is so amazingly awesome! I’m sure it meant a lot to your daughter. :)

 
11.
Ocean
Member
Ocean (message)  223 posts, Helper bee

@Miss Warbler: Thanks MW! She really loved it. It was a wonderful moment for both of us :-)

 
12.
futureMrsCPT
Member
futureMrsCPT (message)  589 posts, Busy bee

Oh wow, I’ve never heard of the winebox/letters. I really like that idea!

 
13.
mrsbowieii
Member
mrsbowieii (message)  692 posts, Busy bee

We did the love letter box/wine ceremony. I was able to find a box with a key that came with glasses already on amazon for a pretty great price.

 
14.
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Bee
Miss Skunk (message)  120 posts, Blushing bee

I think the wine box/love letter idea is so sweet.

 
15.
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Guest
Elizabeth

Love the wine and box idea! Never heard of that before… thanks for the idea!!!

 
16.
Blue Eyes by the Sea
Member
Blue Eyes by the Sea (message)  31 posts, Newbee

I’ve never heard of the Wine Box and Letter ceremony either, but I absolutely love the idea! I haven’t planned any of our [07/14/12] ceremony yet, but I think this will have to be a part of it… except with a bottle of scotch, because that’s much more “us” ;)

Thanks for sharing such a great idea!

 
17.
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Member
MrsSweeney (message)  9 posts, Newbee

What a fantastic idea. I will be borrowing this idea :) I see you’ve made good progress on the box. I look forward to hearing about your ceremony.

 
18.
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Bee
Miss Warbler (message)  154 posts, Blushing bee

@Blue Eyes by the Sea: Gotta love a woman who appreciates a fine bottle of scotch!
@MrsSweeney: Borrow away!

 
19.
anna4041
Member
anna4041 (message)  226 posts, Helper bee

I’ve been a bad bride too and forgot about most of the ceremony, but luckily FI had it almost all planned out. We are also doing a wine box ceremony. but with a few twists. We are making our own homemade wine, and we plan on opening it on our 5th anniversary, and then writing new letters, new wine, then sealing everything (including the old letters) to be opend again in 5 years. aaand repeat.

 

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Miss Warbler
Miss Warbler

Miss Warbler, Long Beach/Malibu Age and Occupation: 24, Quality Assurance Editor Fiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Handheld Administrator Engagement Date: December 7, 2010 Wedding Date: April 2012 Venue: Calamigos Ranch Malibu About Me: I’m a Korean BBQ loving, cheesecake enthusiast bride living in the LBC! By day I write and edit for an online search engine marketing company. By night I am a volunteer food taster of all that is delicious. I am fortunate to be marrying an amazing man who loves me and my quirky ways. I love food, books, indie music, and Harry Potter. We are planning a small, intimate wedding up in the Malibu Hills with our closest family and friends. With the help of my wonderful fiance, our loved ones, and red velvet cheesecake, our wedding will be glorious!

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