Weddingbee Blog

Catch up on the entire After “I Do” series here! And if you have a burning question you’d like to see discussed, submit it here!

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How do you keep the spark alive in your marriage, or keep things fun?

Seriously? Sex. I went off hormonal birth control and my sex drive came back!

Also, we have date night once a month where we get dressed up and pretend like we are still trying to impress each other and have dinner and drinks.

Spending time together and relishing the little moments. Cooking together, talking over a glass of wine after our days, cuddling with the dogs and each other on the couch…they’re all ways that we can find little moments with each other that make us feel whole, happy, loved and paid attention to. Humor is a big way that we connect with each other. Big belly laughs often lead to evenings where we feel much closer to each other.

Humor and kindness. I wouldn’t say our relationship is particularly ’sparky’ right now—mainly due to multiple stressors on each of us—but we do always try to keep making each other laugh, keep helping each other out, and keep on communicating whenever we can!

Adventure! Discovering something new together keeps things interesting—whether it be a new food, a TV show, or—my favorite—a new skill. Though, at the present I can think of much more romantic projects than “deck refinishing”!

I’ve found that time apart makes for better time together. Nurturing our own, separate hobbies gives us new things to talk about with each other, which makes us feel better both about ourselves and the quality of our interactions with each other. And the best interactions with each other come from shutting out distractions—we take some time, every now and then, to turn off the TV and computers and really focus on each other.

Date nights! We implemented date night when we were planning our wedding and got too stressed out—we set aside one night a week where there are no computers, no phones, and no distractions. We make dinner together and watch a movie, and just spend time together. It’s incredibly relaxing and helps us connect every week!

Make sure you keep on laughing. As newlyweds who were already living together, sometimes it hardly feels like anything changed at all after the wedding… but we make sure to chat/go out/have a giggle just like always, and it keeps us feeling ’together’.

Reminisce. Mr. Fro Yo and I love to reminisce about exciting times in our relationship, either when we first met, a really fun date we had as a married couple, or any fond memory we have together. It always takes us back to a happy place and keeps the fun, togetherness vibe going strong. Howevever, we both know that we have to continue to make fun, new memories to reminisce about, and that’s just as fun too.

We never lose our sense of humor. For us, having fun, laughing, and just being silly really help us to reconnect. The couple that plays together, stays together!

Set aside time for each other. We don’t have actual dates that often, but Sunday afternoons are “our time” every week. We usually go out to lunch and it’s a nice time to just enjoy each other’s company without distractions.

I also second Jaguar’s suggestion — keep each other laughing! I’m a goofy person, and I can usually find something ridiculous to do that will get Mr. Hyena laughing. Those are my favorite times.

Dim the lights. Turn on some music. Open a bottle of wine.

(Gets me every time.)

We have days that we designate as ours. We tell friends and family that we have bogus plans and then spend the day with just each other. Oftentimes we’re catching up on our DVR but just having the ability to slow down and relax with each other makes a world of difference.

Getting rid of outside distractions—turning off the TV, shutting the laptops, putting our phones in the other room. Sitting side by side and really listening to each other, making sure to focus on the time that we have together. And a bottle of wine never hurts!

Travel and adventure. I think it is just the break from routine really! It really does help

Friday night date night. And trying new things together.

Every Friday we have what we call “Wine Friday.” We get a new bottle of wine, sit outside on the patio or on our sofa (in the other person’s ’spot’), turn on some music and talk. It’s like out date night, we always go out to dinner on “Wine Fridays.”

Every Saturday we walk into town, find a cafe and indulge in something sweet while we talk about anything and everything. We both spend a lot of time working/studying from our living room, so these mini cafe escapes help keep things fresh and fun. Most nights we also spend an hour or two together watching favourite episodes of old TV shows on the laptop. This helps us both to relax and forget about the stresses of the day.

We have also decided to take at least one trip together each year. Before we got married, travelling was something we really enjoyed doing together, so we want to keep doing that, and we find that even the planning process of those trips helps bring us closer together.

We spend a lot of time together. My favorite times are when we go on long walks or hikes and then linger over a late lunch—just us.

Recently, we’ve been spending a lot of time at home, on the couch (pregnancy will do that)—I sometimes complain that we’ve become an old married couple. But I started a new habit: every time he makes me laugh, I take a moment to remind myself how lucky I am and how much I love him.

Well, Mr. Gazelle and I are fairly new to the married game…but date nights are so important! We pick a nice restaurant, enjoy some good food and really just enjoy each other’s company. Also, if I make an extra effort to dress nicely, do my hair, wear some makeup, then my husband takes notice and always compliments me on it. It doesn’t hurt to remind your husband that he married a hottie!

Taking a little trip alone works the best for us Thimbles. If we stay in the city and go out we wonder what our friends are up to. If we try to have a planned “date night” in, Mr. T will end up answering work emails. Most weekends away are for family things back in PA… but when we take special little weekends for ourselves or our full summer vacay, we get to focus on each other. It’s so important for us to take that time and relax together.

Even though we’re *technically* newlyweds, we’ve been keeping the fire going for 10 years. What works for us? Well, since we’re so serious at work, we get that sparky feeling when we play: on the whim dance parties in our living room, ridiculous storytelling and hysterical laugher, SURPRISES (lots and lots of them) and a “no-pants-allowed-in-bed” rule. OH YES…I just went there.

Date nights and travel really help us to break up the daily grind. Trying new experiences, recipes or wines along with our random break outs of singing, dancing and laughing all help keep the spark alive on a regular basis.

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How about you? How do you keep the spark alive?