On My Own

On My Own

September 29th, 2011 @ 9:02 am by Mrs. Cucumber Sandwich
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Alternative title: “Why We Decided Not to Hire a Day-of Coordinator”

I can almost hear the gasps through the internet. You read that correctly—we are not having a DOC for our wedding day. There are a couple of reasons why not, and I wanted to share them in case anyone else is struggling with this decision too. I am not saying not hiring a DOC is right or wrong, but here is what Mr. CS and I came up with. You should probably take it with a grain of salt, though, because only the wedding day will tell if this was a good decision.

1. Our venue comes with a fantastic wedding coordinator. If I could make the word fantastic 10 times larger I would. She is just that good. Daniella (the wedding coordinator) deals strictly with weddings at our venue. I believe this makes her slightly different than just a regular venue coordinator. Starting from about three months out, she has been at our side the whole way. She has gone over every detail with us and even made some great suggestions of her own. I am fully confident that she understands our vision and the Congress Hall team will execute it to perfection.

What does this have to do with no DOC? For the wedding I am subscribing to the philosophy that too many cooks in the kitchen spoil the broth. I think if too many people are “in charge” it will just lead to confusion and mismanagement. I think there should be one point person on wedding day, and having a DOC along with Daniella might be dangerous.

2. I couldn’t find anyone I liked. Seriously! Either they were out of our budget or didn’t seem invested enough. I didn’t have full confidence in anyone.

3. Speaking of budget, our budget for this was almost zero. Well, not that low but pretty close. This decision also came down to money. If we had an unlimited budget would I have hired a DOC? Abso-f*-lutely.

4. A DOC is not always the “silver bullet” for a stress-free day. I was in a fabulous wedding over Labor Day weekend and they had a DOC. However, I think the DOC lead to more stress and wasn’t really all that helpful. The MOB was the one who put everything together and did an amazing job on the wedding, not the DOC. (Wow, that is a lot of acronyms in that sentence. Hopefully you are down on the bride lingo.)

5. Mama CS has seven sisters! Their family motto is “Someone has to be police of the universe, so why not me?” Being in charge is like a family sport. They are all fabulous women who I know would be willing to step in at a moment’s notice and take charge if something is not going right.

I am sure I could list just as many positives for having a DOC, but for the Cucumber Sandwiches the cons simply out weighed the pros. I think part of what makes a wedding day “stress free” is having full confidence in someone else to execute the vision. I really feel like I have that in Daniella and the rest of the Congress Hall team, so no DOC for this wedding.

Did you have such faith in your vendors that you decided to go without a DOC? Or am I being completely naive and this decision will haunt me for the rest of my life?

Tags: cape-may, wedding-planner |

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23 Responses to “On My Own”

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Member

ookbob (message) 283 posts, Helper bee

I had totally planned on having a “friend” (actually a catering floor manager that we’d worked with previously), but the friend never got back to us, and the wedding drew nearer and nearer… so we dropped the pursuit. Our ceremony site had a liason who would handle that portion, our reception site had a floor manager who would handle those details, and our DJ was a fantastically well-versed vendor who was able to help us structure our whole reception and transition well between each of the events throughout the night.
Did it go perfectly? Heck no. Did anyone notice but me and the bridal party? Nope. And even then, it was still one heck of a time.

9/29/11 @ 9:08 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Fox (message) 859 posts, Busy bee

We’re just using the wedding coordinator/DOC that comes with our venue, and have 110% faith in here; like Daniella, she is AMAZING. It seems silly for us to find someone else, and I agree that it would feel too cluttered with too many people “in charge”. Plus, if anything needs to get done that she can’t do? FSIL totally has my back!!

9/29/11 @ 9:17 am (reply)

Member

lmoss78 (message) 236 posts, Helper bee

I’m sure things will go fine - I totally agree with the ‘too many cooks in the kitchen’ analogy. At some point, I have to trust that the vendors I have decided to work with will do their job or at least close to it. If something isn’t placed in the right spot or they use the wrong color linens - there will only be like 2 people that notice, me and my sister.

9/29/11 @ 9:25 am (reply)

Member

pookiepie (message) 317 posts, Helper bee

I will agree with you, it feels that in your situation that you don’t really need a DOC if you already have one for the venue. I am in the same situation, my venue has a coordinator, and a lot of staff. They told me to just bring all my supplies, give them all the details I want and they will all put together the decorations for my reception, that saves me up a lot of money for a DOC. If you are not sure yet, try to make a list of what situation you can think of that will happen and try to visualize who will do it.

9/29/11 @ 9:29 am (reply)

Member

ohhlala (message) 68 posts, Worker bee

Our venue coordinator is great , and i liked her ever since i met her but the fact that she is working for the hotel and not me has always been on the back of my mind . Everything started out great with her but this quickly changed . Communication went downhill and she apologized and stated that she was busy like crazy. I understand they are a busy hotel but going 3 weeks and no response of my email wasn’t acceptable . Therefore i got disappointed and hired a coordinator. Same Scenario is happening here now. She never checks in with me , and it is almost as if she was not existent . I hope this changes in the next few weeks because this is what i paid her for . At this point i feel like I need at least 2 cooks in this kitchen , lol.

9/29/11 @ 9:44 am (reply)

Member

Joanna910 (message) 65 posts, Worker bee

We didn’t have a DOC either because we had a wedding coordinator at our reception venue and our ceremony site. It worked out perfectly and everything was taken care of. I never had to do anything on the day of and the reception coordinator always found me and told me “are you ready? we are ___ in 5 minutes”. It was pretty awesome and I don’t regret spending the money on other things.

9/29/11 @ 9:45 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Hyena (message) 1,882 posts, Buzzing bee

If you already have one that comes with the venue, another DOC seems like overkill. You’ll be fine!

9/29/11 @ 9:53 am (reply)

Member

Vegasvixen (message) 128 posts, Blushing bee

@MissCucumberSandwich - I am currently attending school in Las Vegas, NV for Wedding Coordination and Design and I can share a ton of stories that have taught me why you should have a wedding coordinator. 1st and foremost it takes a especially organized and attentive coordinator to pull off the day of coordination if they have not been there for the full planning process. They have to be exceptionally organized. When I get married I will hire a day of coordinator that I know is highly skilled. I now see the benefits of it because I am in the business and have seen what happens when you get someone who claims to be a wedding coordinator and has no formal training. If I didnt go to school for wedding coordination and had the funds, I would hire a wedding coordination for the complete planning process, not only day of. I highly suggest you get the day of coordination and make sure you tell the coordinator everything. The coordinator is going to make sure she has a timeline set and provide it to all the vendors. This ensures all vendors are there on time and begin set up when necessary. If you dont have someone for day of coordination, PLEASE BELIEVE you WILL be getting calls all day long and you will be STRESSED having to deal with all of that on top of your process that day alone. Good luck and congrats!

9/29/11 @ 9:57 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Pony (message) 4,175 posts, Honey bee

We needed a DOC because neither of our venues had wedding coordinators and we had to bring basically everything to our reception. With your venue coordinator and your aunties, it sounds like you’ll be covered

9/29/11 @ 10:16 am (reply)

10.

Bee

Miss Ladyfingers (message) 1,119 posts, Bumble bee

Our caterer came with a DOC (our catering manager), or else we probably wouldn’t have been able to afford one. I think this is a totally personal choice. It sounds like in your case, you really don’t need one! We’re both only children though, and my mom’s not around, and about 50 people are coming to our wedding, so aside from the bridesmaids (who I want with me the whole day!) there wouldn’t really have been anybody to take charge - except me!

9/29/11 @ 10:29 am (reply)

11.

Member

call_me_ktb (message) 39 posts, Newbee

i’m still a year out but i don’t plan on hiring one either. we’re having the ceremony at the church we both grew up in (meaning the priest & everyone invloved already knows us and our families), so i’m not stressing that portion of the day. our reception hall comes with a coordinator and a bridal attendant. the florist is in house (and located in the same building so they can’t be late) and Artie the floral/design specialist is fantastic and attentive, so no real worries there. generally, the photographer and dj/entertainment are the only 2 vendors i’ll need to coordinate anything with on the day of. i am very type-A (i like to be in charge of things and make lists) and so i feel pretty capable of notifying a few people where they need to be and when. i think you’ll be fine!

9/29/11 @ 11:02 am (reply)

12.

Guest

Miss Tiger

i didn’t have one…and guess what…all went well…i think, especially if you have someone very talented like your Daniella, you should be go. Just be uber prepared and keep all parties informed in advance of schedule and stuff (i printed off copies and contact info and provided this to family, wedding party, vendors etc) i think this definitely helped and honestly, i was not stressed at all on the day! so i’m sure you’re in good hands and you can do it!!!!

9/29/11 @ 11:20 am (reply)

13.

Guest

KMA

We hired one but mainly because I really wanted my family to relax and have fun and not to have to be “working” the event. Our DJ was good but I wanted someone who would coordinate vendor, set up, run timelines and break down the party. We only got 2 hours to set up, and luckily my DOC did all of it. If not, everyone would have been working, rather than drinking champagne and hanging out. Also, afterward, when everyone had had some wine, she made sure my family got everything and cleaned up.

That being said, if Daniella is going to do that for you, that’s probably sufficient.

9/29/11 @ 11:47 am (reply)

14.

Guest

Gabby

I got married at Congress Hall in 2009 and Daniella was the coordinator for our wedding. She was AMAZING! Everything was set up exactly as I wanted it to be with almost no input from me on that day. I didn’t even see our florist on the day of the wedding and everything was set up perfectly. You are in very good hands with them and you definitely don’t need anyone else.

9/29/11 @ 11:50 am (reply)

15.

Member

eeper (message) 485 posts, Helper bee

I completely understand why some weddings need a DOC - but many of them don’t. I asked the manager at my venue if I needed one and she emphatically said no to the DOC.. My venue does 4 weddings each weekend and it runs like clockwork. Nearly all our vendors had been there a hundred times before - I just had to tell them what time the ceremony/reception started and they knew what to do. There was a “coordinator” person to help prior to the wedding and the day of we had a “banquet captain”. They were both great. I left a detailed list with all my “wedding crap” with the coordinator a few days before the big day, and they had it all set up beautifully!

9/29/11 @ 1:34 pm (reply)

16.

Member

Swedish Berry (message) 24 posts, Newbee

Unless she’s a stellar coordinator that got rave reviews, no, you don’t need one. However, I really do think the concept, if well done, can be a huge help! Mine was a complete disaster, cc’ing me on every single e-mail she sent to the vendors clogging my inbox 2 days before the wedding, leaving my overnight bag out in public during the cocktail (with oodles of cash for tips), forgetting about the sheet cake causing guests to get piles of crumbs from cutting too many pieces from the main cake, telling my bridesmaids that the guestbook is not “her thing” to deal with, and it goes on and on but the kicker was her forgetting about me behind closed church doors and sending the person down the aisle who was supposed to walk me down without me!! In conclusion, if they’re good, it can be a great stress reliever, if they’re horrible, you’ll regret spending the money.

9/29/11 @ 2:39 pm (reply)

17.

Member

rachelvampire91011 (message) 7 posts, Newbee

Pfft.. I didn’t use a DOC. My mom and several other family members, and the bridal party all chipped in and helped out. It was a bit crazy, but it all worked out in the end.

9/29/11 @ 4:17 pm (reply)

18.

Member

MsNarwhal (message) 967 posts, Busy bee

Im not having any day of coordinator and nor does my venue have an onsite coordinator (getting married in parents backyard). Honestly, Im not worried at all. Personally, I think having a DOC is not worth the money for me since I can come up with my own schedule and have everyone follow it. Also, my mom is excellent at talking to vendors so she is in charge of that. So youre not alone out there!

9/29/11 @ 5:30 pm (reply)

19.

Bee

Mrs. Parasol (message) 2,132 posts, Buzzing bee

Oh, if you have a fabulous coordinator already, you can totally skip out on the DOC! That would be too many cooks in the kitchen. And it’s great that you have your aunts to help out as well! My aunt was our unofficial DOC, and my uncle was our MC. It was perfect!

9/29/11 @ 6:08 pm (reply)

20.

Member

karengoblue (message) 152 posts, Blushing bee

I hear you on not having a DOC!! I am not hiring one either, nor do I think most weddings need one! I’m designating my sister/MOH as my contact person for everything on the day of - she can get my input when needed, she can ask my parents when needed - she can handle it (and she’s even volunteered!).

9/30/11 @ 7:18 am (reply)

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