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My relationship with my future husband is not even remotely like a traditional romcom movie. To be honest, our relationship has never been like that, not even at the beginning. Unless it’s a kinda boring movie that is rated PG-13 with occasional moments of The Break Up thrown in there.
The Break-Up trailer via YouTube
We have that damn lemon fight every time I turn around.
Me: “Did you test the string lights to make sure they work?”
Him: [Blank look] “No…was I supposed to?”
Me: “Well, I asked you to do it and you said you would do it so….”
Him: “Why do we need to test the lights?”
Me: [Blank look] “…to make. sure. They. WORK!!!!”
And then I look like this:
Linda Blair via The Exorcist via Cooking Blind
It’s not so bad when it happens occasionally but when it happens regarding every single damn delegated wedding task (guest addresses, lights, music, beer…), it gets a mite bit old. And by “old,” I mean, “really fucking infuriating.”
Our movie, as I mentioned, is also boring. And rated PG. It’s definitely not like an episode of True Blood when everyone is having sex everywhere with everyone and everything.
Image via The Vault
We’re not prudes, but we’re busy people. We work at our many jobs, we try to take care of our families, we keep up the house and the yard, and at least one of us is trying to plan a wedding. We’re super stressed and sex just isn’t a priority anymore. Is that bad?
Despite the lackluster sex life of late, and the repetitive lemon fights, and the never having gone through that giddy in love stage with my future partner, I know I want to marry him. I’ve had the giddy…with someone else. I’ve had the exciting sex life, and that relationship was a freaking disaster. In my current relationship, I have commitment, balance, fun, trust, care, and steadfastness. Maybe it’s boring…but I’m OK with that.
If your relationship was a movie, what would it be rated?
How refreshing! I can totally relate to the “lemon” fights and yes, my head spins like the exorcist as well. It’s as if he sends a stand in sometimes and just wasn’t part of the conversation at all.
COMPLETE AGREEMENT… I especially love 2 comments. 1)…..regarding every single damn delegated wedding task (guest addresses, lights, music, beer…), it gets a mite bit old. And by “old,” I mean, “really fucking infuriating.” 2)We’re not prudes, but we’re busy people. Glad to know other people go through this
Umm, yes, to all of the above. I’ve actually given up on delegating because i’m tired of having those fights. So that means I’m even busier, and yes, the R-rated interactions have become few and far between of late. Love him, looking forward to the wedding, but actually REALLY looking forward to just being married and being less stressed.
our sex live slowed down a few years ago. It is our number one issue in our relationship. I used to always inititate it and the minute I stopped- no sex.
I used to blame him but I see now it is me. Once I started to gain weight (going from a size 2 to 
I didn’t like being around him al natural. Ok, I know a size 8 isn’t bad but I was just used to seeing myself in a different way. He tries to inititate it now and I shrug him away. How horrible is that?
I am trying to work on me so I feel better about myself. But I love the hot romance and want to get back to it.
At the beginning of our relationship it was definitely R rated. Now we are so PG. 
We have had that lemon fight! So much that I thought about having a lemon themed wedding because of that movie! I’m not sure if my relationship is like a movie but it surly reminds me of sex and the city series and even part of the 1st movie. Big and Carrie anyone?!
Thank goodness I’m not alone! We have those same fights like everyday as the wedding draws nearer and I feel like I’m one of those circus people with the spinning plates because of all of my tasks…that he just doesn’t think is important. I also get the Linda Blair look. This must be totally normal.
And the bedroom is pretty lackluster but that’s totally on me, seeing as how I’m a crazy stressed out over-tasked maniac who just doesn’t have any energy left to pretend to care. Hang in there sister, we’ll make it.
We do the exact same thing. We just moved into a house (this weekend) so unpacking has become hellish. Every opened box becomes a lemon fight. Ugh.
I still want to marry him though, so I guess that’s something.
Ours is like this too…and it really scared me and made my engagement period a time of serious reflection (and sometimes doubt!) and major stress on TOP of everything else that I had to manage! (As a side, I think people underestimate what brides are going through…it is more than napkin colors. It is work, plus huge event coordination, plus family and friend relationships, plus financial stuff, plus huge life change…)
Also I’d like to say–when we give up on asking/counting on our partner for help…and take on soooo much work without support (and acknowledgment and understanding), it leads to resentment. I think we gotta keep on it and keep on them! It is about figuring out how we are going work together as a partnership. Cuz it can’t be like that moving forward with the house and finances and kids and someday elderly parents…oy!
Finally, I can relate to having had hotter relationships in the past…but I must say most of them were dysfunctional and lacked real intimacy and basically made me miserable. This relationship, though it might not be super hot and though he might frustrate me…is real and is real love. I feel worried about it sometimes but mostly I feel the most stable and content and secure than I have EVer in my life. And I feel like because of that I can get ready for the next stages of adult life….which is exciting and wonderful!
Can completely related with every single thing you have said!! 
yeah, I think my movie would be pretty much like yours, except for the fact that I’m the one who’s always physically and metally exausted, and he’s the one who ALWAYS wants it and complains b/c I don’t want it as much…
and forget about asking him whether he did this or that… I get the same “blank stare” you get and then he proceeds to tell me that I “nag/bitch” too much… and all I can think is, well, I wouldn’t have to nag/bitch as much if you just DID the couple of assignments I gave you…. UGGHHH!!!!
this is exactly what I needed to see this morning! Thank you BEES!!! I got into a stupid fight over guest list this weekend and the color of flower girl dresses!!! I never in a million years thought he would give 2 craps about a stupid flower girl dress. I love how someone mentioned that brides are underestimated about what we are going through. I always thought our engagement period would be way more fun/ giddy/ loving than any time in our lives. However, although we love each other, we don’t really like each other right now. After the initial excitement wears off- its like guys think they are off the hook. Whoo they bought the ring and proposed, she said yes… now no more work to do! Drives me crazy!! I love him, and yes I want to marry him- but when I think of lemons, I just want to chuck it at his head! I agree with the nag/bitch comment Marisol! If he would just help me out the first time I asked- there would be no nagging.
As for our sex l life- we were that couple that would have sex everyday, no matter what our moods were. Now, I just want to fall asleep without an argument. It is just so nice to know that this is a stage that is pretty normal for relationships. Thank you beautiful bees, I can always count on you!
AHHHHH Yes. This! We always end up quoting The Break Up when I’m ABLE to back myself down from utterly horrifying heights. The whole lemon scene is just amazing. And the dishes. “…why would I WANT to do the dishes?” But you’re so right - as much as I really and truly feel like I hate him (that might sound harsh, but hopefully you know what I mean), I still know I’m marrying the right one, and that I love him so. I figure, if I can WANT to spend the rest of my life with him and have his babies and grow old with him, DESPITE the fact that he constantly leaves the lid off the dog bone jar, and rescatters his shit all over the dining room table even after I’ve neatly and pointedly stacked it up next to his laptop (which means, put these things A.WAY.), and wads up his clothes and shoves them into random places in the closet, and leaves pieces of dried up food on every plate he washes… then baby, it MUST be love
We’re not like a movie as well, and I’m so glad! There’s an episode of How I Met Your Mother when one character tells two others who have been pining after each other but unable to get together, “You like him, he likes you, now just get together already. Happiness is not that hard!” Real life is so much more satisfying than movies or TV.
We’re kind of like a movie, but there’s all types of relationships. It feels like as long as you’re happy and and your relationship, who cares if it’s like TV or not?
Thanks for your honesty. I can 100% relate, from the very beginning of our relationship. Except that it’s him asking if I tested the string lights, while I look at him blankly
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