When Did I Become So Indecisive?

When Did I Become So Indecisive?

October 3rd, 2011 @ 9:02 am by Miss Kettle
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I’ve had meetings with vendors and HAVE known right away if I wanted to sign on the line. I could just tell that they were right for US. It hit me like it did when I knew Mr. Kettle was the man for me. That awesome feeling I felt about my dress and our wedding venue was felt with a couple vendors.

When Did I Become So Indecisive? : wedding chicago wedding planner Love At01 love-at01

Image via The Gloss

But then… nothing. No pangs of love drawing me in and letting me know I’d found the vendor for me.

Okay, complete honesty.

That title is a bit misleading, hive. I’m not a decisive person by nature. I’m opinionated as hell, but most of my friends know that I can be indecisive. When I’m being indecisive, I just want someone to choose for me. But in wedding world, you end up with either pushy relatives or hands-off relatives. I’ve got this weird mix going.

They offer up all they’re opinions and suggestions unsolicited. But when I actually want them to make a decision for me, I get no help. They want to make sure I get what I want and that I’m not being pushed into a decision I’ll regret. I love them all so much for that because I know every detail of the day will be exactly how I prefer it.

But when I seriously honestly have no preference, I’m lost!

When Did I Become So Indecisive? : wedding chicago wedding planner Indecis Indecis

At least I wasn’t lost when it really counted! / Image via A Scrapbook of Memories

I still can’t decide between the two florists. Their prices are similar, and we went the same flower selections, so there’s no difference. I know I’ll love the flowers no matter who does them because I love the options we went with. I’m seriously considering flipping a coin to decide.

I prefer the second DOC (day-of-coordinator) over the first, but that’s mostly because her price was $1,000 cheaper. Yeah, you read that right, it’s a huge, huge, price difference. But now my parents are wondering if we really need one.

Momma Kettle knows someone at her job who got married at my venue. The husband said they didn’t need a DOC. Of course, they didn’t have one. And how often is the groom aware of the details of the day that don’t actually get attended to? I asked my mom to get his wife’s number so I could ask her.

The decisions that need to be made are piling up. I thought by now I’d be done with all our vendors and able to focus on fun details, like finishing our invitations! I will do a post soon on our final mock up. It’s hot and way better than anything I could come up with on my own.

But I’m not done making vendor decisions and I don’t know how to get done. The one thing I do know is that I have no desire to meet more vendors in search of that love pang.

How do you make decisions when you’re unsure? Is flipping a coin really that bad?

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8 Responses to “When Did I Become So Indecisive?”

Guest

Katie

I got married at your venue. The Patrick Haley staff are great, and I didn’t have a DOC, but here are some things to consider:

–We paid extra $$ to have our florist come and set up everything and then stay through the ceremony. She does flowers for weddings at the mansion all the time, and I kind of felt like she stood in as a DOC leading up to the ceremony. (After everyone left to head down to the ceremony and I was alone in the beautiful bridal suite, she was the one at the door helping to keep me calm and prevent me from losing it.)

–One of my bridesmaids fielded all calls from vendors, my husband-to-be, groomsmen, etc. during the day. She was on the phone on and off a LOT before the ceremony started. She is a fantastic friend, is highly organized, and didn’t seem to mind the task (or was at least willing to suck it up for me). If you don’t have one person you can rely on to do all of this, then I highly recommend a DOC.

–I had a pretty small bridal party–4 bridesmaids, 4 groomsmen, a flower girl, and 2 ushers. And we only had about 120 guests. So it wasn’t too overwhelming. From your posts, it seems like you have a HUGE bridal party and way more guests. It might be a huge boon to have a DOC whose job it is to deal with all the drama of that many people being in a relatively small space at once.

–We found out later that many of our guests didn’t know about the sweet table/coffee set up in the “living room” of the mansion. Many were used to “regular” halls where everything is brought into the reception hall, plus we had quite a few older guests who preferred to stay close to their tables rather than wander around the mansion. Had we had a DOC, I’m sure she would have had the DJ announce (or make sure the staff told the waiters at each table to announce) where the sweet table/coffee was. The waiters still served coffee, and all the guests got cake and the chocolate covered pretzel favorts, so not a huge deal.
All in all, I had a wonderful wedding, and am really happy how everything went. But just wanted to raise these issues for you.

10/3/11 @ 9:53 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Hyena (message) 1,882 posts, Buzzing bee

I don’t have any good advice. I was really picky about our vendors and a lot of them had red flags up right away that I knew I couldn’t work with them. If they’re comparable and you think either would do a great job, and one is $1000 cheaper, honestly I would go with the cheaper one. But I’m cheap. Your call. I’m so helpful.

10/3/11 @ 9:55 am (reply)

Member

kamiie (message) 115 posts, Blushing bee

Don’t skip the DOC…If the DOC is not attending to the Bride and Bridal Party, he/she is attending to the guests and organizing everything…even if its not stressful for the Bridal Party, it can be stressful for the guests if there is no one organizing things…

10/3/11 @ 2:44 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Pony (message) 4,175 posts, Honey bee

I was really picky about wedding stuff at first, but like you, I’m opinionated and just ‘knew’ for a majority of my vendors. Honestly, as we got closer, decisions were made faster and easier because they had to be made or we wouldn’t have flowers. Hopefully Mama Kettle will help you with the florist decision and you can finally feel good about your choice

10/3/11 @ 8:51 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Parasol (message) 2,132 posts, Buzzing bee

Flipping a coin isn’t bad at all! Mr. P likes to joke that he flipped a coin to decide where he went to undergrad. But really, flipping a coin can cue you into your true feelings. If you’re happy with the results, you know that you wanted to go with that option in the first place. If you’re unhappy, well, then that’s not the right choice for you and you should go with the other one.

And FYI, I’m glad Mr. P agreed with his college coin flip, because if he’d gone to the other school, we never would have met.

10/4/11 @ 12:32 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Ladyfingers (message) 1,119 posts, Bumble bee

I’d love to say we made decisions based on price, but that’s not entirely true. We’re by no means made of money, and we could have done this way more cheaply and ended this thing with a downpayment on a house. But instead, we (OK, I) tended to give myself one or two options and just book them if I liked them. I found a florist that had great recommendations and booked them as soon as I saw they knew what I wanted. Could I have gotten cheaper? Probably. Did I feel like shopping around? Nope. Similarly, we reached out to a few caterers, but only went to one tasting before signing on the dotted line. Bonuses: They were the cheapest by far in the area, and came with a DOC.

10/4/11 @ 12:38 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Kettle (message) 909 posts, Busy bee

@Katie: You are officially my favorite commenter EVER!! I e-mailed your comment to both my parents and it totally turned around the whole DOC discussion.
I knew we needed one I just didn’t know how to vocalize it. Thanks!
@Mrs. Parasol: Maybe I will flip a coin!

10/5/11 @ 11:00 pm (reply)

Guest

Katie

Glad to be of help! Like I said, I had a wonderful wedding at the mansion, but (of course) there were a couple things I would have done differently if I could go back. I saw from your most recent post you’re getting a DOC and that you enjoyed your tasting. Glad to hear it! I am so looking forward to seeing the pics and hearing all about your wedding.

10/17/11 @ 3:11 pm (reply)