Weddingbee Blog

My mom, sister, and I were out and about shopping in Roseville, California, and we decided to take a look at some wedding dresses. Simply browsing, no buying. We had to get started at some point, right? I had spent a few months looking at dresses online and in magazines, so I basically knew what I wanted. I was fairly specific: no corset, no beading, no mermaid or trumpet style. I wanted to try on ballgowns and A-lines. I thought I knew what would look perfect on me. I consider my style to be “in the box” and simple. If only I knew then what I know now, I would have laughed hysterically at myself for knowing nothing.

The first stop was David’s Bridal. I knew what dresses they had and which ones I wanted to try on. The consultant brought out some gorgeous yet massive ballgowns and some simple and refined A-lines. I looked hideous in all but one of them. One of the ballgowns was so huge that I could not even make it through the doorway of the dressing room due to the copious amounts of tulle. That one was instantly off the list. We then attempted to pull it off of me over my head. Bad decision because the tulle caused some serious static friction. Remember in elementary school when they would have those science fairs with that static ball? And when you touched the static ball your hair would do crazy things?

{Image via Hub Pages}

Oh yeah, that’s what I looked like. Imagine that in a ridiculous wedding dress. We had never laughed so hard in all our lives. Isn’t the wedding-dress search supposed to be all unicorns and butterflies with loads of emotion and tears? Supposedly you find the one and suddenly you hear angels singing? Well, so far my search had included gut-wrenching laughter, and we had made zero headway. There was one dress that didn’t look that bad. It was a lace A-line with a massive train. It was pretty, but on me it was forgettable and boring. When I sat for a moment and thought about it, I realized I should love my wedding dress and not just pick one that isn’t that bad. We broke for lunch before we headed over to my next and last stop, Alfred Angelo.

When we got to Alfred Angelo, we were greeted by a consultant. We sat down and I told her exactly what I wanted and didn’t want. She grabbed a ton of dresses all meeting the guidelines that I had given her. I walked out in each of them, and again all of them were just not bad. Nothing spectacular. We all joked that we needed this guy to help me out:

{Image via TLC}

For reals, we needed Randy’s help. He would have whipped me into shape. In all seriousness, he probably would have told me to throw out my guidelines and bring in a wild card. Which is exactly what happened without even trying.

At this point we were toward the end of my appointment, and I was on my last leg. My consultant then told me something that struck the right chord with me. I have never been much of a crier, but everyone told me I would cry when I found my dress. I said from the get-go, I will not cry. I know myself too well and I know I am not a crier. Play a Sarah McLachlan SPCA commercial or Marley and Me…I will submit to a few tears. Other than that, forget it. My consultant told me to not let my decision on a dress be swayed on whether or not I cry. She sees too many girls pass up incredible dresses all because they don’t cry. I said, “Great! I am not a crier!” This honestly made me feel so much better because it would have been such a long drawn-out search if I were going to wait for tears. All of that pressure had been lifted off me at that moment.

Then the wild card entered the picture. My consultant and I heard a knock on the changing-room door, and suddenly my mom was peeking in. She said that she had seen the back of a dress go by that she wanted me to try on. She hadn’t seen the top…or the front for that matter—only the back of the dress. She tried explaining it the best she could, and then my consultant went on a mad search to find my mom’s request. About five minutes passed, and she hurried back to confirm with my mom that that was the dress she was talking about. It was the right one, so she brought it into the changing room for me to try on.

I stared at it for a second, confused by what I was looking at. It was beyond gorgeous. But it was the exact opposite of everything I had initially said I wanted. In fact, it was everything I did not want. My mom is pretty good at these things, though, so I humored everyone and tried it on. I had not even seen it on myself yet, but I knew instantly this was a fun gown to wear. I pranced on out of the dressing room and thought to myself that this one felt good. My mom’s and sister’s mouths dropped to the floor—they loved it. My consultant loved it. Everyone in the dang store loved it. Did I love it?

I did not know what to think about what was happening. Was I seriously going to buy a dress on my first dress-shopping experience? Not only that, but was I going to get a dress that contained everything I specifically declared I wanted no part of?

I finally pulled the trigger when I realized I did not want to take the dress off. All of the other ones I had tried on that day I wanted to rip off of my body as fast as possible. This dress was fun to wear and it looked amazing. I wasn’t crying, but I was happy. That sealed the deal for me. The deposit was paid, measurements were taken, and the waiting game began for when the dress would come in.

Lately I have had a lot of friends and coworkers asking me what advice and tips I have for the wedding-dress search. While these are based solely on my experience, they worked for me and so I am certain they would work for anyone.

1. Throw out those preconceived notions. You may or may not cry—who cares either way? What matters is that you love your dress. I am here to say that just because you don’t cry does not mean you love your dress any less.
2. Try on those dresses that you have dreamed about. If they don’t work out, don’t stress about it! I always dreamed of myself in a Cinderella ballgown. I also pictured myself tall and skinny in that dream. That I am not, and so I accepted that and moved on. You have to be OK with opening yourself up to new options.
3. Try the wild card. Do not rule anything out. If you do, you could be missing out on your dream dress that you never knew you wanted.
4. I may have bought my dress on my first shopping trip, but when you know you know. I do not regret doing this. I feel if you start looking at too many options and too many shops, things can get confusing. The fact of the matter is there are millions of wedding gowns in the world, and you will never see all of them. Don’t confuse yourself.
5. Shave your armpits and wear proper underwear.

I know I am mean because there are no juicy dress pictures. Let’s be honest, that’s what you really want to see. But remember, we were not expecting to buy a dress that day, so we were not fully prepared with proper equipment such as cameras. The only way I can seem to describe my dress, though, is that the bottom of it looks like whipped cream. Did that pique your interest? It should, because my dress most definitely has a personality of its own.

Did you try on the wild-card dress?

If not, will you promise me that you will give it a shot?!