Weddingbee Blog

If there is one piece of advice I can give on registries, it would be: do NOT register anywhere until the last possible moment. A month before your bridal shower invites go out will do just fine. If you’re having an engagement party I would recommend making a “mini-registry” for it. Then go back and do a full-out wedding registry later.

Seriously, I am not being a crazy rebellious bride. I speak from annoying experience. In the past five months more items have gone discontinued off our registries then I think we even registered for.

Mr. Porcupine and I decided to register at Crate and Barrel and Bed, Bath, & Beyond. Then, after subtle pressure from friends and family, we decided to register at Macy’s too, since some people live, die, and swear by Macy’s (and their wondrous sales). I don’t blame anyone—Macy’s has kick-ass sales.

Mistake #1: Having more than two registries.

We started our “Registry Day” with a stop at Crate & Barrel. It was the first stop so we were bright and fresh.

Personal Photo

The store we went to is a pretty small location in Soho, so there wasn’t too much of a chance to get overwhelmed by the selection. I love everything in that store. It’s a sickness. Funny part is, we will probably end up deleting this registry and transferring everything over to Bed, Bath, and Beyond, because their crap is all the same! Why you ask? Because the HOLY GRAIL is starting a registry program. More on that later.

Then we were off to Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

Mistake #2: Entering a flagship location to register.

Do NOT do this. DO NOT, I repeat, enter a flagship location and think you’ll be able to leave without having a mental breakdown. Seriously, this was the worst idea. Also, the registry consultant was the bane of my existence. We had to handwrite out the registry information form. Then she had to enter everything into the computer to set us up. (Unlike Crate & Barrel where you do the computer entry yourself.) Can you talk about typos GALORE? This woman typed my password to the registry SO wrong, my last name wrong, and our wedding date wrong (as in it was off by about five months!) Thanks lady! She also kept us waiting for a literal half hour for the damn scanner (they were not crowded at the registry table) as she blundered around like a scatterbrain. Sorry, I really have no patience for incompetent people. This is my evil New Yorker head poking in. We’re in a recession people! There are plenty of intelligent people waiting to snatch up your job!

FINALLY, we got the scanner and walked around in blind confusion. Do we need this? Which brand is better? Did we register for this at Crate? Where am I? What the hell is this buttony cofangled gadget? Why are there 900 people in here at this very moment buying George Forman grills?

I started blindly zapping things anxious to be done. The place is HUGE. They also have every single invention in the universe stacked side-by-side like buddies. You see, I’m the type of nerd who sits for hours on the internet comparing reviews of gadgetry before I purchase anything. I hated blindly guessing, and knew when we got home I would have to go back and check reviews on everything. It didn’t take long for me to realize we needed to leave STAT.

Over the next week I fixed up the registries via the interwebs, and registered online at Macy’s for most of our linens/sheets and such. Three registries began to make me ill though. I started duplicating things like a dimwit. I had to go back and delete and update. Then things started going discontinued like mad. Don’t even get me started on what I’m sure will happen once the new year rolls through in a couple of months. We will probably have negative 80 items on the registries by then.

Tell me Bed, Bath, and Beyond, how is it that a BLENDER and an ELECTRONIC CORKSCREW OPENER, of all random items, goes out of stock/gets discontinued. AND, why can’t your system magically replace it with the new version 15.0? Oh, also, my vacuum that I laboriously researched went off into discontinued land. GAH! (I get it…. It’s actually the manufacturer’s fault, but whatever I need a scapegoat!)

I also recently found out that the Container Store is starting their registry program in October. Yes, THE HOLY GRAIL. (UPDATE: I just Googled it and it has officially begun!) I need EVERYTHING in the Container Store more than I need any more pots, pans, cups, or spoons. I go into the Container Store and get lost for hours. I once emerged and the seasons had changed.

So, moral of the story is: Wait to Register! Do not listen to your families’ pressure to register early. Just say no!

DISCLAIMER: No, I am not trying to be a give-me-gifts brat. I will gladly say thank you to anything people give me as a gift. Give me a damn toilet brush and I will be excited. But, registering is a HUGE freakin’-A deal around these parts. You must register or you are shunned from your family and friends for being difficult. I hate being shunned.

Anyone else hating on the registry process?