The Absent Subject

The Absent Subject

October 12th, 2011 @ 3:13 pm by Miss Doily
Share

There has been kind of an elephant in the room when it comes to my wedding planning. Most of the stuff is settled on, it just has to be executed. The bridal party has been properly attired, the reception hall will have its decor, the ceremony has its music. However, there is a huge, huge thing that I have yet to check off of my list. It’s such a huge thing that I feel like a failure of bride for even uttering these words.

Are you ready? I want to make sure that you can handle this before I expose the truth.

OK, hive. Here it goes:

I don’t have a wedding dress yet. I haven’t ordered one, I haven’t picked out one; hell, I haven’t even tried one on yet. I haven’t even stepped a foot into a bridal salon. Five and a half months to go and I am a bride without a dress. There, I said it.

So what is the holdup? There are several things. I don’t know exactly what my budget is for a dress quite yet. For a while Mr. D’s business wasn’t doing the hottest, which then made our budget take a hit. The first thing that I cut down was the price of my dress. However, now Mr. D is starting a new job, and that helps with the budget of a dress. So I have more of a definitive number to work with.

There is also the fact that I still have not lost any weight. I am hanging my head at this fact. According to my first written-out a weight-loss goal, I should be down about 40 pounds right now. I am down three. Three whole freaking pounds. All my fault, but when I don’t feel comfortable in my own body, it makes it difficult to want to find a wedding dress. This is probably the biggest reason of all. I am ashamed to admit it.

The Absent Subject : wedding beauty cedar rapids fitness wedding dress Doily1 doily1

Image via First Coast Weddings

I know now, though, that I need to get on it. Most dresses take 14–16 weeks to come in. I am fast approaching that deadline if I want time to alter it. Now my question is: do I order it in my current size, or do I order a size down as a way to really motivate myself to lose at least some weight? I think that 20 pounds between now and the wedding is completely doable—I just really need to get on the ball.

So what do you think? Should I stay my size or order a size down? Did you have a situation like this? What did you do?

Tags: beauty, cedar-rapids, fitness, wedding-dress |

Share |

Latest Gallery Pics

Hot Pink and White with Zebra 36" Lighted Spandex Ostrich Feather Centerpiece

39 Responses to “The Absent Subject”

1 2 Last

Member

honeymead (message) 334 posts, Helper bee

Order it in your current size. I wondered the same thing when I was looking for a dress and that’s what everyone said. Seems to make sense.

10/12/11 @ 3:30 pm (reply)

Member

Miss Gamer (message) 17 posts, Newbee

Miss D. positive vibes going in your direction!!

However, I’ve read posts from several of the Bee’s saying that they wanted to be down a size or two more but didn’t make it by W-day, hence I would suggest ordering the dress in your current size and having it taken in as needed. My Maggie Sottero dress had a corset/lace up back, if you like that look it takes away some of the fitting costs because it is adjustable.

I bet you can lose the 20lbs by your big day, but there are plenty of stresses in life without worrying that you won’t fit your dress when it arrives. I have to imagine it is easier to take in a dress than let it out.

Good luck!

10/12/11 @ 3:35 pm (reply)

Member

miss.qwerty (message) 897 posts, Busy bee

Aw, Miss Doily, I totally hear you about how it’s tough to go shopping and feel comfortable in your own skin when you’re not where you want to be with your goals. That said, I’d buy a dress that fits. Better to have to do some last minute alterations to take it in than to stress about not fitting into your gown. Besides, a dress that you love that fits well is going to look gorgeous whatever size it is. Good luck shopping!

10/12/11 @ 3:36 pm (reply)

Guest

Stephyb

I am right there with you! I’v actually lost 25lbs now, but I’m still hesitating to order. My bridal consultant made me feel a lot better though because she said that almost every dress can be altered 3 sizes down! So even if you order it at your current size, you’ll still be able to make it work. Plus, you’ll look beautiful no matter what size the dress tag says.

10/12/11 @ 3:39 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Doe (message) 540 posts, Busy bee

DEFINITELY order in your size. You can ALWAYS have your dress altered down…but you can’t have it altered up. I ordered my dress the size I was…lost 20 pounds and hopefully still going….my dress is now quite big on me, but atleast I can have it taken in. I toyed with the fact of ordering down, but that is so tricky. It’s such a big purchase that you definitely want to play it safe with ordering. I am sending you good vibes, Doily! If ya ever want to hit the weight loss train with me, send me a private message Im all for a weight loss buddy because trust me, I know how difficult it is.

10/12/11 @ 3:40 pm (reply)

Member

SunnySquirrel (message) 308 posts, Helper bee

I ordered in my current size. Dresses can always be taken in. Good luck with your search!

10/12/11 @ 3:47 pm (reply)

Member

RobynD99 (message) 109 posts, Blushing bee

I’m in the same boat, i’ve only lost about 5 lbs but I fit into my dress better. Weird. I have no motivation to work out or eat healthy lol. Crazy - Order your size, it can always be taken in! Good luck!

10/12/11 @ 3:48 pm (reply)

Member

thirdtimebride (message) 356 posts, Helper bee

Current size! The worst thing you can do is put yourself under so much stress that you HAVE to slim down in order to fit in the dress. It’s a lot easier to take in a dress that’s too big than letting out one that’s too small.

10/12/11 @ 3:53 pm (reply)

Member

zippitydoodah (message) 155 posts, Blushing bee

My consultant wouldn’t let me order any sizes down (I’ve lost 17 pounds since then, with 10 months to go before my wedding) because she said the wedding is such a stressful, busy time you don’t want to add any stress, and you can always take a dress in but you can’t add on material. Go with your currant size!

also, its been 25 weeks and my dress isn’t in yet (they said it would be 3-6 months) so I would make sure you either buy a sample or make sure for SURE they can get it in on time. Mine is an alfred angelo and it’s not custom made or anything, but I don’t know how long most people get theirs in…

10/12/11 @ 4:04 pm (reply)

10.

Guest

leanne

Order it in your current size! I was between sizes and ordered the smaller one, reasoning that I would totally lose the weight before the wedding (I had 5 months!) The month before (at my first fitting), I was a total stress-ball not knowing if the dress would fit or if I had lost enough weight. It ended up barely zipping up and I spent the next 3 weeks completely cutting out sugar & carbs and running my butt off to fit into the dress.

Ultimately, I did it and the dress fit like a glove, but if I had to do it over again, I would have ordered the larger size and not worried about weight loss so much.

10/12/11 @ 4:10 pm (reply)

11.

Guest

Mrs +Tucker

I actually ordered my bridesmaid dress for a friends wedding two sizes smaller than what was my current size. I lost the weight, BUT it was absolutely NOT worth the stress that it put on me! Or my husband (because he certainly did not want to shell out more money for a larger sized sample!).

10/12/11 @ 4:14 pm (reply)

12.

Member

therascalqueen (message) 112 posts, Blushing bee

I agree with everybody. Order your current size. You’ll look beautiful. You don’t need to be a certain size to be a beautiful bride.

10/12/11 @ 4:15 pm (reply)

13.

Member

bebefly (message) 1,348 posts, Bumble bee

ORDER YOUR FREAKING SIZE.
Why would you place ADDITIONAL stress on yourself at this time in your life?

Also? Corsets are your best friend, and trust me honey, wedding dresses are supremely hard to look bad in. I’m the same way as you and even I enjoyed the process.

Just remember: corset. corset. corset.

10/12/11 @ 4:37 pm (reply)

14.

Member

mrscarter2be (message) 28 posts, Newbee

I just went through this 2 weeks ago when ordering my own wedding dress! Order it in your current size. Especially if you end up going with a dress that has a corset - then even if you do lose weight, less alterations need to be done because the corset will make up for a lot of it. If you do still need alterations to make it smaller even with the corset, they still may not need to do as much, which will save you money!
We asked about how to order mine because my weight fluctuates so much and I’m also trying to lose weight before the wedding. Well, the bridal consultant said we could order it a size smaller, BUTTTT what you try on in the salon is usually a bit bigger than the actual size of the dress when it comes in because so many people have tried them on and what not. They tend to come in a little snug to the ordered size anyway. She said it would be safe to order it in my current size anyway because it will still motivate me to lose, but it’ll really motivate me to make sure I don’t gain, but will leave me with the security that if my weight doesn’t drop like I want it to, my dress will still fit beautifully.

Good luck! I’m sure you’ll be a beautiful bride no matter what!!!

10/12/11 @ 4:45 pm (reply)

15.

Member

zippitydoodah (message) 155 posts, Blushing bee

@bebefly:

Oh thats also true… I was about 20 pounds heavier than “normal” when I went dress shopping, and I’ve never felt so good in my life. Seriously, it’s hard to look bad in a wedding dress!

10/12/11 @ 5:36 pm (reply)

16.

Member

Future Army Wife (message) 1,110 posts, Bumble bee

I totes agree. I tried dresses on once, but I got really depressed when I saw how much weight I had gained. I’m down 15 pounds and have much more to lose. Not sure what I’m going to do for a dress.

10/12/11 @ 5:43 pm (reply)

17.

Bee

Miss Seal (message) 1,179 posts, Bumble bee

Well my love, I think most have already said this and I have to agree—order it in your size! You are sooo beautiful as you are…and if you do happen to lose some wait before the wedding, it will be so much easier to alter it down than to alter it up You are totally gorgeous, Doily and I can’t wait to see your pretty self in a gown!

10/12/11 @ 6:03 pm (reply)

18.

Bee

Miss Porcupine (message) 429 posts, Helper bee

Order it in your size! if you lose 20 lbs awesome, good for you, they will take it in, and if you don’t good for you too! You will still look fab (you’re the bride!) But, you will completely regret ordering a size that isn’t yours. I lost 15 lbs over 2 years and I swear I am still the SAME FREAKIN’ dress size. Dresses are dumb like that (esp. wedding gowns).

10/12/11 @ 6:37 pm (reply)

19.

Member

tinaspoon (message) 251 posts, Helper bee

Order your current size. If it arrives and you are down - they can take it down 2 sizes usually.

10/12/11 @ 7:15 pm (reply)

20.

Member

lisaelanna (message) 315 posts, Helper bee

Regardless of size you decide on, you should really just take a friend and go to a quality bridal salon and try some on. Wedding dresses are on a totally different level than regular clothing, and, at least I found, that they are so much better made and put together that even many of the ones you don’t like will make you look and better than most of the other clothes you’ve tried on before. I found wedding dress shopping to be much less stressful than looking for something at the mall, and if you’re still feeling super stressed go have a drink or two with your friend before the appointment. I’m sure you will be pleasantly surprised once you get over the wall of starting your search. Best of luck, chica!

10/12/11 @ 7:26 pm (reply)

1 2 Last