Weddingbee Blog

I’m warning you now that this post is going to be a little rant-y.

A bloggy friend recently wrote a great post talking about the five most annoying things about getting married.   Number 5 on the list was the fact that people start acting like getting hitched is a death sentence—that you’ll never be “free” again, that you’re life is over, etc. and so forth. Miss Petit Four also lightly touched on the subject here.

This got me thinking. Recently, a (commitment-phobic) acquaintance and I were talking about my upcoming nuptials, and he decided to use the analogy that getting married was like jumping off a plane…but worse, because, according to him, 3 out of 4 marriages fail. He proceeded to ask me that if you were told that 3 out of 4 parachutes fail when you jump out of a plane, would you still do it? In other words, since 3 out of 4 marriages fail, why even bother?

I didn’t really know what to say to that, aside from wanting to tell him to possibly keep his mouth shut.

But it did make me think; knowing that more and more marriages have a tendency to not work out in this day and age, why do some of us—why do I—bother doing it in the first place?

I guess you can say that I don’t come from a family of the best “examples.” My mom and dad have been separated/divorced since I was about 7 or 8. My dad’s parents are also divorced, and I know my mom sometimes wonders if her parents were truly happy together. That being said, both my mom and my dad have found true, honest happiness in their second marriages, which something beyond wonderful. In addition, Mr. Foxy comes from a family with a high marriage success rate—his mom and dad have been married for around 40 years, and his sister and brother-in-law are already up to about 15 years together.

The thing is, his family and his values inspire me. Maybe it’s because of that, or maybe it’s because I want different for myself than what happened to my parents (divorce is a super big fear of mine).. but I am so completely, 110% committed to making mine and Foxy’s marriage work, regardless of what the statistics say. And I know he is, too. He has told me on more than one occasion, when I get scared and doubtful that marriages can actually last a lifetime (yes, I’m definitely affected by my parents’ divorce, I’m working on it), that he wouldn’t have asked me to marry him in the first place if he had any question in his mind that we couldn’t make it “all the way.” Till death do us part, and then some.

Just hearing him say that brings my confidence in our marriage back up to 1000000%. And it makes me feel really sorry for people who feel the need to put other people down because of their decision to get married to the one they love. I know that we all have our issues—that some people don’t believe in marriage because it hasn’t worked for them, etc.—and I get it. That’s fine; we all have our own opinions and beliefs. But you don’t need to run around telling other people who are about to get married that it’s not going to work, that they are silly for venturing into it.

So, why am I bothering getting married if three out of four (such an exaggeration, IMO) of them apparently fail?

Because I believe in it. And because want to. That’s why. What about you? What’s your answer to the idea that over half of marriages fail?

Please keep in mind that this all just personal opinion…feel free to agree/disagree/whatever!