- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee Blog
One of the many, many things that still needs to be done for this wedding is to find clothes for important women involved with our wedding. Our wedding party is huge, so there are lots o’ women to clothe. Let’s get to it!
Momma Kettle: We still don’t know what she’s wearing. I’d like her to wear something like this.
Image via Macy’s / Dress by JS Boutique
Image via Macy’s / Dress by BCBGMaxAzria
She may be leaning more toward a suit, but hopefully not.
Grandmother Kettle: She is being very frustrating. She found a great suit at Burlington. I helped her pick it and it’s beautiful. It’s a great color, and she will look great on my wedding day. Just one problem—it has rhinestones on it and she has decided she must wear silver accessories. This is after months of her celebrating that gold was going to be my accent metal for the wedding.
Usually, I’m not a fan of gold unless it’s white gold. I made an exception for the wedding. Grandmother Kettle wears gold everything all the time. But she’s just being contrary. It sucks, but she’s determined to be difficult. She has make-something-that’s-not-about-me-about-me-by-any-means-necessary syndrome. Moving on.
Mima Kettle: Mr. Kettle’s mother found a great dress, too. I haven’t seen it yet, but I hear from her and FSIL Grand that it’s lovely. They were one their way to Lumber Liquidators with Poppa Kettle one day down West 95th Street in Oak Lawn. There are a ton of dress shops on that street. They stopped in one to check on a dress FSIL Grand thought she might like. Just by checking around quickly, Mima Kettle found a dress she loved. And the best part is it will look great with gold accessories!
FSIL Grand: A while back she sent me photos of dresses she might want. She hasn’t found a dress yet, but I will show you what she had in mind.
 |
| Image via Dessy |
Hostesses: Lastly, there are the hostesses. So far there is my cousin, Mr. Kettle’s niece, and possibly another girl who I mentor at my church. We have to find a dress that will look good on all three, who have very different body types. We haven’t found anything perfect just yet, but I really need to get on it in case they need to be ordered and shipped. I looked at this website that I got my hostess dress from for a wedding a couple years ago. Here’s some dresses I’ve seen that could work.
Image via eDressMe / Dress by Darling
Image via eDressMe / Dress by James and Joy
Image via eDressMe / Dress by Von Vonni
Any of these in a champagne, purple, or gold color would work.
Am I crazy to want the immediate family in gold accessories as well? Is your family matching your wedding color palette?
Not everyone needs to wear gold. 
Just let it go and I’m sure your grandma will look smashing!!!
I am of the camp that some rough guidelines are ok but if they are not in your bridal party I think its pushing it just a tad to dictate things like accessory choices. Granted that is a pretty small request and since its your day if i was a family member I would probably just do it so as to not add any unneeded stress for you as the bride its not an over the top request in the grand scheme of things.
I really wouldn’t worry about your grandmother wearing yellow gold. It won’t be noticeable. I love the two options you listed for your mom but it she wants a suit I’d just let it go. Not a battle worth fighting.
Dictating family’s accessory choices is almost certainly on the side of “total control freak.”
Just because you CAN potentially control something doesn’t mean you should.
no one is going to notice if someone is wearing gold or silver. 10 years from now, or even one year from now, will it even matter? pick your battles - everyone just wants to be happy for you and celebrate!
I don’t mean to be rude, but I kind of think you are the one making something that’s not about you (your gma’s jewelry) all about you by fussing with her over it. Let it go. She clearly wants to do something different for such a special occasion, so stop arguing with her and come to terms with the fact that you can’t control everything and not everything needs to be controlled.
We’re just making well know that certain attire is very encouraged, because you can’t control other people’s actions. GL!
I think you may be going a tad overboard with trying to dictate what people outside of the bridal party wear. Think about it - you don’t love these people because they cater to your every whim. You love them and want them to share this day with you because they are family and they are important to you for who they are. You may want to consider trusting them to make their own good decisions concerning proper wedding attire.
I think dictating details down to metal colours is probably a bit too over the top. Your family should feel comfortable and happy with their clothes and accessories, too! I really don’t think silver versus gold is a huge deal.
Yikes! I definitely don’t want to be a control freak. I think what bothers me about my grandmother is that she really is just trying to be contrary. She doesn’t own any silver, and she had been talking for months about how excited she was for the gold. She’s even forcing gold dangly earrings on my bridesmaids who only wear studs. Le sigh.
And Momma Kettle and I looked at dresses online last night, and I was wrong. I thought she was leaning more towards suits, but she was all over the dresses. She even found a dress that looked like what I had in mind to jazz up her suit option. We’re going shopping right now (yay for my new Blackberry with an an amazing web browser!) To see if we can find it. Wish us luck!
This is certainly overkill. We’re already aware from prev posts that you have a monster bridal party. With these other people dressing in outfits you choose, do you plan on dressing whomever is left as just a guest? You’re losing sight of the honor it is to be in someone’s wedding by having these people act like your bridal party. Not everyone needs to be included.
Oh man, I don’t even know/care what jewelry my bridesmaids are wearing. I had NO say in what the mothers are wearing either. I just didn’t bother and they didn’t ask. 
Good luck to you Kettle! I’m sure everyone will look fab and nobody will second guess why someone’s wearing whatnot.
I think you should be grateful that you grandmother is in good health and able to attend your wedding and not worry about her attire and jewelry choices. Many people are not that lucky.
I have female family members that are difficult just for the sake of being difficult, so I know how you feel And, I don’t think you’re being a control freak, you just know what you want and that’s ok.
It’s all good Kettle. I understand where you are coming from and I know you have a clear vision of what you would like. It will all work out and you and all your ladies will be happy and look fab! You’ll be willing to let go of some things and not with others. You will be ok! My mom is matching our colors but F Step-MIL is not - she will be season appropriate though. Mr. BC’s mom is a wild card and we’ll have no clue what she is wearing. That is a story for another time! LOL
My mom has weird jewelry opinions. I think those of older generations have notions that certain things “go” together, and rhinestones ONLY with silver-toned jewelry may be your grandmother’s. Alternatively, she may be looking forward to the wedding of her granddaughter as an excuse to get something new, fun, and exciting. Again, jewelry outside her ho-hum-normal may be what she is pumped about.
Sorry to say it, but I think dictating what extended family (who aren’t in the bridal party) wear is a little too much & agree with what all the other nay-sayers have posted above. But then again, I am a mis-matched bridesmaid dress girl, so totally different style.
Also, look at pictures from your photographer and check out how many you can actually tell what metal-type people are wearing (other than b. party close-ups). You’ll probably have a handful of formals with the family in various combos, but otherwise the grandmother will be off mingling on her own. Why not let her feel beautiful and excited too?
I didn’t have any input into what the mothers wore (or the fathers for that matter!) because I didn’t feel like everyone needed to match, or be a part of ‘my vision’. I wanted them to be comfortable in what they’re wearing, and not worry about whether they were pleasing me or not. Choosing family outfits for them was something I wasn’t actually aware of until I started reading weddingbee!
I also didn’t dictate what the bridesmaids wore for jewellery or shoes, I wanted them to be able to show their personalities a bit, and I’d already told them they had to wear this dress. I don’t think ANYONE will notice if your granny’s necklace is white gold and not yellow gold.
@Mrs. Cinnamon Bun: you’re probably right. No one will notice. Just like they won’t notice my table numbers, or know how hard we worked to find the perfect color wedding favors, or which chicken dish we picked for dinner. Nor will they notice all the pictures my Dad worked so hard on picking out to place aroind the venue. They probably won’t even notice that all the programs and menus and place cards perfectly match the font and color of the invitations. 
@Miss Kettle: we also matched the program font and colours to all the invitations and other print material. I’m not sure people will notice (or care that it’s Helvetica and it’s Swiss as a nod to Mr. FC) but I’m doing it for myself and for Mr. FC. If anything, the colour and font choices just make it easier so you can decide what to use for each part of the projects!
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Miss Kettle, Chicago, IL Age and Occupation: 26, Non-Profit Donor Resource Coordinator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Musician & Teacher Engagement Date: May 29, 2011 Wedding Date: February 2012 Venue: Patrick C. Haley Mansion, Joliet, IL About Me: I'm a city girl who loves a good escape, so I'm planning a Chicago wedding outside of the city. I've been described as a quirky yet down-to-earth drama queen who loves fiercely. I used to be a scientist, but now I'm learning to navigate the world of non-profit organizations. I love cooking, blogging, shopping, and music, and movies (Hans Zimmer is my favorite movie composer). Mr. Kettle and I had a short courtship and now we have a happy home with our cat-who-thinks-she's-people, Belle. We spend our days and nights with good food, live music, video games, family, and friends. Our wedding has become this wonderful excuse to bring together hundreds of people we can't bear to be without.
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
| 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
| 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
| 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 |
Latest Gallery Pics