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If you know what the title is referencing as far as its format, give yourselves a pat on the back. If you don’t, I’ll give you a hint: wizards, HP, owls, and wands. Got it?
Another hint:
Well, the discussion today is not about Harry Potter. It is actually wedding related, and it’s something that I have been thinking a lot about lately. I’ve noticed more and more posts about it on the boards, and I wanted to give my take on it and see what everyone else thinks about it. So what is this topic that I am rambling on and on about?
It’s about the use of the word “tacky.”
When our grandparents (and to a certain extent, our parents) were getting married, there was some rules that we expected to be followed to a “t.” Weddings, for the most part, were really similar and predictable. This is not the environment that we face now.
Things are being done differently, creative things are happening when it comes to wedding. No longer are you expected to have the white cake, the white flowers (maybe some pastels if you are particularly adventurous), the white dress, and a church wedding followed by an afternoon reception with champagne. Weddings are all about featuring the couples and what makes them unique.
So why on earth is this “tacky” word being thrown around so carelessly?
Does it really matter if this isn’t your idea of a wedding?
It reflects who they are and how they want to start their lives together. Maybe you view it as being garish or dowdy, maybe it’s not your taste, but I don’t think anyone of us would like it if someone came in and started calling our color choices or flower choices “tacky.” Instead of worrying about whether people believe our decor to be “tacky,” we should be concentrating on what makes us happy as brides and as a couple about to enter into matrimony. I’m sure some will think that our use of paper flowers is tacky, or our use of vintage books as centerpieces is unseemly, or the fact that my bridesmaids are going to be wearing different things is just downright unheard of. But at the end of the day, I’m just excited to be marrying the love of my life, tackiness be damned.
What do you think? Do you think the word is tossed around too easily?
Love this! Yes, I agree. My wedding Colors are rainbow. Like bright, look at me, RAINBOW! lol. How’s that for your tacky 
Amen–preach it sister!
As a woman who never envisioned a wedding for herself that conformed to the church service/cocktail hour/formal reception schtick, I do not begrudge anyone who DID. If the formalities and tradition float your boat, I say sail on. If not, that’s cool too. I love that there is a trend toward more personal, unique celebrations that give couples a chance to express who they are–whether that be traditional or not.
Weddings are not democracies, nor are they confined to a specific formula anymore. A wedding is the public declaration of the most intimate intentions of the couple. However one chooses to celebrate that is A-OK with me.
OMG Thank you so much for this post. It really makes me sad when I see people throwing this word around on the bee. I think it hurts alot of girls feelings. We all know there are very “hot topics” on here and that there are differing opinions, but there’s no reason to call someone else’s wedding the dreaded “t” word!
I agree! Mr. Moose is in a wedding in Dec where he has to wear a tux to even the rehearsal! That couple is probably going to gossip for weeks at our wedding, when we do a tree planting ceremony instead of unity candles/sand. Oh wells!
but in all seriousness, thank you for this post! it’s true - what’s good for the goose isn’t always good for the gander.
some brides still want to follow the “rules”, (and i will admit that there are some that i myself plan on following for my own wedding - like no first look and a creamy white butter cream frosted cake, mmmmm); however, unlike “back in the day”, the choice is yours. cookie cutter weddings no longer exist, unless you want them to… and i like it like that! 
…because we are not all little gingerbread men and women made from the same mold - some of us aren’t even made of gingerbread; and everything we do, think, feel and say reflects that every day of our lives, so it should be especially apparent on one of THE most important.
Yes, I completely agree! Why do some people feel the need to comment negatively on anything regarding a wedding that is not theirs? I just don’t get it sometimes. And uhh, huge props for that picture of the hunting wedding. PRICELESS!
A great post on Offbeat Bride about the word tacky:http://offbeatbride.com/2008/07/tacky
I know! I think everyone is planning the wedding that is right for them, whether it is my cup of tea or not.
I took a wedding planning course last weekend, and every other word was either ‘tacky!’ or ‘etiquette!!’ I tried standing up for cool bloggy things like wrap-around invite labels and the like, but gave up because it just got too hard in that room.
Totally agree. There are lots of things I wouldn’t choose for my own wedding, but I don’t need to put down what others choose to represent them and their marriages. Great post Doily.
Every wedding is unique in its own way! this is a great post!
As someone whose wedding was labeled “tacky” by some, I think it’s definitely tossed around too much. I mean, sure, the groom wore jeans. What of it? The only time in his LIFE that he’s worn suit pants has been for other weddings. It’s just not his style. So why alter that on one of the biggest, and assuredly most photographed, days of his life? Even those following the “typical” wedding formula are at risk of being called tacky these days. But I’m still thrilled with my wedding, and I’m sure that the other couples are too!
Um, can I go to that wedding? I love it! I think it looks fun (hunter over here!). I could care less if someone thinks my wedding is tacky. Guess what, if you don’t like it, don’t come. Obviously if you’re judging me that bad, we aren’t real friends anyway
Great post Miss Doily!
I have a friend who is not even in a serious relationship right now that is already starting to lament her someday-wedding because of “traditional” expectations. And she knows that even *if* she went traditional, it would be laughable because it’s so not her.
I love your post, and hopefully any worried brides-to-be or doubting observers will remember it’s the Bride’s day!
Great point! I try to make sure I’m doing anything that will be offensive to people, but I think I can handle it if they think it’s tacky, as long as Mr. D and I are happy
I absolutely agree! I admit that I have used the word once or twice, but it hasn’t really ever been because of a break in tradition. And I do believe there is a difference between a “tacky” wedding and a breach of etiquette. Brides should be able to have the wedding that they want, and not the wedding that is expected of them.
Love this post, Doily. It’s so true…I don’t understand how another bride can call a wedding tacky, we are all individuals and planning the wedding of our dreams. To each their own right?! Thanks for writing this!
Everything goes in and out of “style”. Eventually these rustic, vintage-themed weddings are going to become the “T” word. Will we look back at how “T” they are in 2020? Passe here we come!
Yes, yes, yes! I love when a wedding feels like the couple, not like it’s trying to fit into a standard wedding box… Tackiness be damned- have a wedding that YOU like!
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Miss Doily, Cedar Rapids, Iowa Age and Occupation: 25, Autism Paraeducator/ Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Freelance Writer/ Publisher Engagement Date: August 27th, 2010 Wedding Date: March 2012 Venue: Father’s Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center About Me: I’m an Iowan girl with a deep love of Harry Potter, classic movies, cardigans, and Post-Its. My type-A Virgo tendencies often cause me to drive my laid-back college sweetheart fiance batty with lists and PowerPoint presentations. I love to be crafty and do things myself, which explains why my two crazy kittens often will prance around the house covered in glitter and ribbons. When I am not bogged down with work, school, or wedding planning, I like to travel to visit my expansive family and have wild adventures with my best friends. After a rollercoaster ride of a love story, I’m ready to take that final plunge, marry the love of my life, and become a Mrs.!
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