Weddingbee Blog

Alternative Title #1: To Hell and Back Again

Alternative Title #2: #whitegirlproblems

Last week I realised I had a big first world problem. You see hive, I had been growing my hair out for two weeks in preparation for my first salon waxing experience. Previously limited to home waxing experiences, I had only had the courage to wax my arms and armpits. But I wanted silky smooth legs for the wedding (and so does Mr. FC) so I was planning to have someone wax them. You guys are also concerned about body hair on your big day too, right??

It seems most waxing brides seem to go on Tuesday or Wednesday before a Saturday wedding so that their “sensitive” areas have time to readjust. But I didn’t want to pay the usual exorbitant Swiss prices on Tuesday or chance flying all day on Wednesday with an unhappy hoohah, so I was planning on finding a nice affordable Columbus salon to wax at this Thursday. Maybe it would be cutting it a bit close, but I wasn’t even sure I really wanted to do those “sensitive” parts…

So what’s the problem FC?

Weeeell… sweet old Mr. Funnel Cake has reserved us a couple’s massage tonight. At first I was SO happy thinking about getting a nice relaxing massage so close to leaving. THEN I remembered those two weeks worth of hair on my legs. FML.

The last time I had a full body massage, Mr. Funnel Cake surprised me with it and I had not shaved for a few days. The whole massage was generally very relaxing, but as the masseuse moved down to my legs and started rubbing oil all over my stubbly calves, I was very much not relaxed. I was downright grossed out. Not a fan of people rubbing my hairy legs.

So my waxing plan was kind of ruined. There was no way I was going to the masseuse with burly woodsman legs. I could have waxed on Saturday, a full week ahead of the wedding, but that would have meant paying those really expensive prices here in Switzerland and that I would probably be hairy on the wedding day and definitely on the honeymoon. People also warned me that waxing for the first time so soon to the wedding is a recipe for disaster. So maybe I should just shave?

…or go out and buy an epilator?!?

The first time I heard of these devil machines, I thought women have to be seriously crazy to use them. A device that rips out each individual hair from your body? Are you effing kidding me?? Who in their right mind would agree to that?

I honestly never considered buying one until I found out that two of my colleagues at work use and recommend them. I thought that if these women can use this little bad boy, so can I. So on Thursday night I went to the store on a whim and bought myself a fancy new epilator. It was a pretty BIG whim.

(Image via Identity Blog)

I could have bought a cheaper one, but I figured I would opt for a model that comes with a shaver head so that if all else fails I can use it as an electronic razor and trimmer.

($107.54 from Amazon)

After I made my purchase I went home and took a nice hot bath while my new toy charged. What happened next can only be described as pure agony. Possibly the most painful thing I have ever willingly done to myself so far in life. What is epilating like? Well it’s kind of like rubbing a deodorant stick on your legs. Only instead of deodorant, it’s “searing pain” rubbing on your leg. Or if you go from the bottom of the calf and try to make it in one swoop to the knee, it feels like actively ripping your skin off. (I have really sensitive calves!)

I did not cry. But I yelled. I screamed, grunted and made scary noises while talking to myself. But mark my words, I had just bought an epilator and I was going to epilate myself damnit. Each time I got from my calf to the knee, I thought maybe it would be better. But at the bottom of the next row, it was again excruciating as the first time.

After 40 minutes I was drenched in sweat, my skin had goose bumps and I felt slightly faint. Oh… and my legs were “sort of” epilated. Like, I got them done when the battery ran out, but they were by no means smooth. More like prickly and hairy.

But you know what? On day two and three, I tried the epilator again and it is really not so bad doing it again. I probably made the mistake of having too long hair the first time. Some say the first time is the most painful anyway. Whatever the case, this epilator has earned its way a spot into my suitcase. Although I’m pretty sure I’ll still be shaving the night before the wedding for a smooth touch… You think I’m nuts now, don’t you? Well, I don’t have any immediate plans to try this thing out on the “sensitive” areas!

Did you make any crazy hair removal efforts before your wedding? Have you tried the epilator? What do you think?