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Ah, the search for a gown. If you are even an occasional viewer of wedding shows like Say Yes to the Dress or Amsale Girls, you know that brides often bring a highly opinionated entourage with them to the bridal boutique. These entourages tend to be as substantial as they are opinionated; they include mothers, fathers, grandmothers, siblings, bridesmaids, hairdressers, cousins twice-removed, etc.
Image via Inspirations by Sara D. / Screen shot from Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta
That was my plan in the beginning. I would organize a shopping trip to a variety of local salons with my mom, my sister, and some friends. However, I ended up shopping alone, trying on dresses alone, and buying my dress alone—and surely I am not alone in doing so!
Mr. Mole and I got engaged in April, and we decided to get married in January. That gave us a nine-month engagement, for those of you counting in your heads (or, like I do in this type of scenario, on my hands). For most wedding-dress companies, that engagement length gave me plenty of time to flip through bridal magazines, dog-ear some dress ads, and browse wedding websites for inspiration within my budget. So that’s mostly what I did for the first month and a half.
Image via RodneyBailey.com / Photo by Rodney Bailey
I did end up stopping on a whim at one bridal shop in Milwaukee. It was so much of a whim, in fact, that I showed up straight from Bally’s, in my gym clothes. I found a beautiful dress that I really liked, maybe even loved: Wtoo’s Zora. This is the same dress that Mrs. Lioness wore down the aisle.
Don’t mind my lovely gym hair.
Wtoo’s Zora had everything that I wanted. It had all-over lace, thick straps, an interesting back, and a small train. It was well within my budget. It would only take about four to five months to order. Check, check, check. So I made tentative plans to return to this shop with an entourage in June.
However, Mr. Mole and I got exciting news in May that we were going to be moving to Southern California for his new job. I realized that it would make the most sense, then, to buy the dress in Los Angeles. No big deal, right? There surely are more bridal stores there. And I already found something that I liked. Yet my timeline kept shrinking and shrinking. I needed to get a move on things. And, due to the nature of my nearest and dearest being so very far away, I needed to go to some LA shops on my own.
I still have some mixed feelings about shopping for my wedding dress alone, no doubt in some part because of shows like Say Yes to the Dress and Amsale Girls. I know that my mom also remains a bit wistful that she wasn’t able to be there when I found my dress—which may or may not be the one pictured in this post! It would have been wonderful to have my mom, my sister, and my friends with me. But I know they would have been there for me if they could have been. Geography sometimes trumps desire.
Did you go dress shopping alone, either out of choice or necessity? How was your experience?
I purposely set it up so it would be just me and my mom. I knew she always wanted to dress shop with me, so we went together. My mom, dad and I went the night before just to look (hey, we were excited!) and we actually found my mom’s dress! She tried on one, and that was it! The next day I tried on 2 dresses and the 2nd one was the one we got. I was glad I just took my mom and noone else, although I would have made the same decision alone, if I had to.
Love that dress! I think the necklines like that are so pretty.
*Hug* So sorry you didn’t get your TLC moment but I’m sure you picked a fabulous dress and your family and friends will love you in it.
I went dress shopping along by choice. My sisters and my mom are for more emotional hand flappy crying I really want world peace kinda ladies. I am the more practical sister so to spare myself I went by myself. I really do love my dress and knew it was the one when I put it on. I know they’ll be thrilled when they see it.
I took mom, MOH, and a BM on my first shopping trip where I found a dress on a great sale. However I realized after a month or two that it was not MY dress.
So after work one Friday, also on a whim, I drove to David’s Bridal and wanted to try on just 2 dresses I’d been admiring online. The 2nd one took my breath away, very unexpectedly.
We had planned a BM dress shopping trip for the following day, so I told the sales associate that I’d sleep on it and more than likely buy it the next day. So I announced to my girls and my family when we met at my parent’s house that I’d also be buying a wedding dress. My sister/MOH was pretty miffed that she hadn’t been invited (also she had tried multiple times to talk me out of trying on more dresses), but in the end, everyone agreed it was a better choice–and still well within budget!
Love a happy ending!
Beautiful dress! Wonder if it’s the one or not… 
I actually had a similar experience (sort of) but more because I ended up wanting it that way. I always thought I wanted the whole entourage and that would make my dress shopping experience. Then I had it, and it sort of backfired. I got engaged in May and waited until September when my mom, sister, 2 friends and FMIL could come into town to NYC where I live to go shopping. I was really excited about the weekend and the whole experience. However, it turned out that I was so overwhelmed when we went with the big group and all the opinions, and I found that I was really trying to please everyone else and unsure of my own feelings. I ended up almost in tears at the end of the weekend because I was so confused and unsure of what I wanted, and everyone was leaving to go home. I tried to go again with my FMIL who lives locally and still felt like I was looking for her opinion and not my own. So, I took a deep breath and a month off and then went on my own on a relaxing Wednesday afternoon, when the store was empty and I had all the time in the world and just my own opinion to hear….and it was perfect. I knew immediately when I put THE dress on that it was THE dress (also a Wtoo dress) and haven’t looked back once, and that was a month ago. Whew.
I did a little bit of everything.. twice with one of my bridesladies, twice alone, and once with my mom.. it just so happened that the one time with my mom was when I found THE dress! Zora is beautiful on you - your mom will love it when she finally she’s you in it!
Love your dress! I actually dress shopped with just my mom, and then another time with his mom, my mom, sister, etc. However, I just didn’t have a “moment” any of those times. So, I went back to one store I really liked because they were easygoing and nice by myself. I had decided that if I didn’t find a dress that day I would settle for another dress I had gotten. I tried on my dress solo, and I knew that was it.
So, it doesn’t always happen that you find it with others even if you want it too!
I never went alone, but when I made my final decision, I went with just my MOH, I think it was easier for me to make the decision without so many other opinions. I love the Zora on you, I hope we get to see what you chose!
Zora is gorg. on you! I went shopping alone, partly because my Mom and Sister live away but mainly because I wanted to choose by myself, the one time I went with my Bridesmaids and a friend, I was listening too much to their input. I wanted something that I was sure I would love uninfluenced by others, I am too easily led by others:) I think shopping alone is great, it allows you to be calm and really see how you look and what you want without the flurry or others fawning about!
I think having people you love there can be nice, but having too many people there could definitely be overwhelming (especially if your entourage is similar to the sometimes not-so-charming people they feature on TV). I went with my mom. I wish my two sisters could have been there too, but like you said, sometimes geography trumps desire.
Your dress is soooo pretty!
I have my first fitting tomorrow and am braving it alone. Since I ordered my dress online, it’s kind of my first bridal shop experience. I guess I’d rather get naked in front of someone who does it all day for a living than mothers and friends
I bet there’s a lot of brides who go alone. When I was shopping around, I took my sister, a friend, my future MIL, and I even printed out photos of dresses I had liked and polled people at work about them. But when it came down to three top choices, I had to go back alone and just spend a few minutes by myself to see how I felt. Ultimately, I know it was my decision and I know from plenty of shoe shopping, clothes shopping, and other kinds of shopping that the only person who can say if something is comfortable is yourself.
So, one by one, I made appointments to go back to three different shops that carried my three top choices. The first one was not right. The second one was not right. But when I tried on the third, it was the one and I felt so comfortable in it. Nobody was with me for these second trials. I liked it that way!
I thought i wanted the entourage, but then i realized that there was no way that i wanted to be swayed by everyone else’s opinions on what i wanted to wear. I ended up shopping for my dress with my FI.
The Zora looks fabulous on you. I did not plan on being by myself but I was. I am older, this is a 2nd marriage, budget is tight and I wear a size 16. Chances were 1:Million of finding a gently used gown. An ad popped up on local Craig’s List for a designer gown in my size for $250. I figured it was a knock off because this designer only makes to size 12. Called the seller within an hour of the ad going up. She was just about hysterical on the phone wanting to get the dress out of her house and said she wanted it gone that day - no time for me to call anyone to come with me. I literallyt got immediately into the car and ran over there in my sweats (sound familiar?). There was a gorgeous, custom made, never worn gown that fit me like it had been measured for me exactly. It’s silk, A-Line, straight strapless with lace overlay with delicate chrysthanemum embroidery and clear glass and champagne crystals with a scalloped, lace inset chapel train. She said she had it made in NY by the designer special order for her own wedding but her intended ran off with her daughter!! She would only take $200 for the dress (which she said cost over $7K) and believe me I gave it over and ran out of there! I felt like I was stealing it and told her I would call back in a week in case she changed her mind and she could buy it back. I called her back and she did not want it back — that was 6 months ago so it’s mine now. I still don’t know if it is real or knock off but I don’t care. The alterations person I took it to for very minor work told me she thought it was real. There is very fine handstiching on al the seams inside of the dress and the lace and embroidery is very beautifully made. So that’s how I ended up getting my dream dress all by nyself! A now or never moment to be sure!
@soyjoy222: I love that you were so excited that you went shopping the night before you were actually going shopping!
@HappyWanderer: I definitely know the type that you are talking about (I really like your description, by the way)! I’m glad to hear that you had such a positive experience shopping on your own.
@ItsPronounced_ABear: And I love YOUR happy ending! I’m so happy that you found a dress that you love, even if it took more than one try.
@angarrett81: Ooh, what dress did you get? I still stalk the Watters/WToo website from time to time. I also found my dress on a day during the week, during the afternoon lull. There was only one other bride in the store, and she was there for alterations. I had such a calm, relaxing experience.
@Miss Fox: That’s such a good idea to mix it up on your trips! Then you get the best of all scenarios. Thanks for the compliment!
@paw: Very good point! Interestingly enough, I had my big, stereotypical moment when I went in for my first alterations appointment. I loved the dress that I picked when I picked it, but I didn’t get that “feeling” until it was being pinned in place.
@Mrs. Pony: Thanks! It sounds like you had a great shopping trip as well. And don’t worry: I think my next post will reveal my decision!
@Westvillebride: I like your description of the “flurry and fawning” (although I don’t mind that sometimes, haha). I’m glad that you found something that you truly love!
@Miss Dalmatian: If only distance weren’t such a pesky issue! I think I would have done at least one trip to a bridal salon with a group — just maybe not all trips.
@Miss Raccoon: Thanks! Good luck at your fitting. As I mentioned somewhere above, my alterations appointment was much more emotional than any of my shopping appointments ever were. Maybe because it’s just closer to my wedding date?
@Bias: I really liked hearing your story. What a good point! You’re right: I feel much more comfortable and relaxed shopping for clothes alone. What else is a wedding dress than a big fluffy white dress?
@teresa1083w: Cool! I didn’t shop with my FI, but he definitely was kept informed during the whole shopping experience via photos and text messages.
@threetimes: Thank you! What a lucky find! Your dress sounds absolutely gorgeous. This is just yet another reason why I think Craigslist is such a great resource!
While I would have been quite content to go dress shopping on my own, I didn’t mind when someone did come with me. Only people whose opinion I trusted and only one at a time. I found the dress when my mom wasn’t with me and phoned her to make sure there wouldn’t be any hurt feelings.
LOVE your dress. If I had you figure, I would rock that. And the first time I went, just me and Mama. Next time, Mama, my sister, and me. I don’t want an entourage, either.
@Mrs. Pain au Chocolat: Calling your mom was a very nice thing to do! I bet she really appreciated that.
@Future Army Wife: It sounds like you have a great group of people to support you when you shop!
I also shopped alone! Well, kind of. My family lived across the country, so shopping together was out. I went once with my BFF, but then the other times, I only went with Mr. P. But he didn’t look, so it was kind of like shopping alone. I actually really enjoyed the experience–it was really relaxing and non-stressful. I brought my family when I had my alterations appointments, and that was perfect!
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Mrs. Mole, Los Angeles/Las Vegas Age and Occupation: 29, Test Prep Instructor Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31, User Experience Architect Engagement Date: April 2011 Wedding Date: January 2012 Venue: Wynn Las Vegas/Bouchon Bistro About Me: I’m a Wisconsinite-turned-Angeleno who is planning a destination wedding in Las Vegas. I am passionate about education: I spent 23 (!) consecutive years in school, and now I work to help other people get into graduate programs. I love running on the treadmill, buying bath products from Lush, learning new moves in step aerobics, and exploring my neighborhood on foot. I am sometimes snobby about food, but I am rarely snobby about books. I read everything from Geoffrey Chaucer to Iris Murdoch to Chuck Klosterman to Candace Bushnell. My fiance and I are getting married on our third anniversary!
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