Control Monster

Control Monster

October 27th, 2011 @ 5:51 am by Miss Porcupine
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I have this thing where I like to be in control of stuff. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the redhead domineering gene. (What you never heard of that gene before?) But, alas, I like to know what is going on. I like to do a lot of the decision-making on things I’m involved in. So, when it comes to wedding stuff, you can imagine just how antsy pantsy I can get if something falls out of my control. I swear it’s not me being a Bridezilla. I am just like this every single day of my life regardless of the bride role.

Even though Mr. Porcupine supported the decisions, I really did most of the research for all of our vendors. The vendors we picked were mutual agreements because Mr. Porcupine and I have similar tastes/opinions on things, but I was the one to pick the “top threes.” Mr. P is pretty good at the “if you love it, I love it” game, plus he didn’t really have the time to do a lot of the wedding research, so we didn’t have any issues in that department.

Now that the wedding is actually coming up and our long engagement is winding to a close, my own actual wedding events are coming up. Say whaaa? I get to have a bachelorette party and a bridal shower? I’ve been so accustomed to going to everyone else’s wedding events that I almost forgot that I get this stuff too. And, this stuff that I get, I have NO control over. Cue the itching…

Now this isn’t to say I want any control whatsoever. I like surprises and I do not want something else to plan. I, without a doubt, appreciate people doing all the planning and work for my bridal shower and bachelorette party (THANKS YOU GUYS), but it feels weird! There is information being distributed to my family and friends that I DON’T KNOW ABOUT. I hate not knowing what is going on. It drives me up the wall. I’ve been so used to knowing what is going on for all of my bride friends. I’m not used to being on the bride side. I need a facebook-like ticker of what is happening in the corner of my eyeball.

Yes, I am definitely all up in the crazy department. I am right on my way to being the Director of Lunacy Affairs and Distribution. I cant help it. It’s my thing. So is eating chocolate by the boatload. We all have our things, people! But. I definitely can not wait for my shower and bachelorette. I still feel really weird that it is my turn, but I can’t wait to see what is in store for me.

Anyone else have a need for control during the wedding process?

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13 Responses to “Control Monster”

Bee

Mrs. Snow Cone (message) 1,026 posts, Bumble bee

the redhead control gene + eating chocolate by the boatload makes me think we’re long-lost twins

10/27/11 @ 5:54 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Raccoon (message) 308 posts, Helper bee

I’m sure they’re planning great things and there’s nothing to worry about …except I’m right there with you and worry about every little thing too.

10/27/11 @ 6:04 am (reply)

Member

futuremrswifey (message) 170 posts, Blushing bee

Oh my gosh! I was starting to think I was driving the control freak bus all by myself!
I’m still about 7 months out from my big day but I can’t think too much about my bachelorette party or wedding shower because I begin to wig out - is someone actually going to coordinate this if I don’t, who will come, who will show up, will I like the invitations, what if the food sucks, etc, etc, etc.
Now, rationally, I know it’s very silly to worry about all of this stuff. But the control monster is pretty convincing sometimes. I usually have to just walk away from anything wedding related for a few hours and have a piece of chocolate to calm down.

10/27/11 @ 6:34 am (reply)

Member

vintagemodernbride (message) 316 posts, Helper bee

i’m the SAME way. when it came to my first shower, i wanted to know EVERYTHING. i hated not knowing what was going on. by the time we got to our 5th (yeah 5th) and last shower, i was glad i didn’t have to have control. however, i did want to know what was going to go on for my bachelorette party too. sometimes it’s hard being type-A

10/27/11 @ 7:04 am (reply)

Member

anna4041 (message) 226 posts, Helper bee

I do the same thing! Crazy organizational skills, but my day job or manager makes it a natural reaction to know what is always happening…but I’m like you - I LOVE surprises! It’s just hard to hold back sometimes.

10/27/11 @ 8:25 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Dalmatian (message) 480 posts, Helper bee

I never realized it until wedding planning began, but I am definitely a control freak too. Mr. D is also a master of “If you love it, I love it” (although he may add “if it doesn’t cost too much” to the end of that).

Have fun at your shower and bachelorette!!

10/27/11 @ 8:41 am (reply)

Member

Mrs. Red Sox (message) 60 posts, Worker bee

Haha I had o laugh because I am a redhead too and it’s definitely in our genes!!! I can’t stand not being in control of certain aspects of events leading up to the wedding and things that I won’t be able to do during the big day! It’s a serious test of patience trying to just sit back, relax and enjoy!

10/27/11 @ 8:52 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Fox (message) 859 posts, Busy bee

I totally hear you on this! I would like to attribute it to that redhead domineering gene. I’m such a planner and so detail oriented that it gets absurd sometimes.. I also get that thing where I feel bad that people have to plan all these things for ME and feel like I should do it so they don’t have to. Ughh it’s pathetic, lol!

10/27/11 @ 9:16 am (reply)

Member

GingerMac (message) 189 posts, Blushing bee

Hahahaa! I feel like I could have written this! I think it IS a red gene…*thoughtfully scratching my auburn hair covered scalp* And yeah it is very wierd,… I’m havign a rough time with being on the bride side and also the not being able to know what’s going on with certain things…grrr in a good way!

10/27/11 @ 10:14 am (reply)

10.

Member

eeper (message) 485 posts, Helper bee

Sadly, I was completely weirded out about not having any measure of control over the shower & bach party. I say “sadly” b/c I am not really a control freak! I am pretty easy-going & flexible but I think what got to me was having people from different parts of my life all coming together for ME.

10/27/11 @ 10:49 am (reply)

11.

Bee

Miss Ladyfingers (message) 1,119 posts, Bumble bee

I don’t know, man, I’m not a redhead but I’m such a control freak! Mr. Ladyfingers said he has no idea how I managed to let them keep the bachelorette plans a secret from me for so dang long.

10/27/11 @ 11:55 am (reply)

12.

Bee

Mrs. Parasol (message) 2,132 posts, Buzzing bee

I totally know the feeling, Porcupine! The weirdest thing is when you have to kind of leave things to other people on your wedding day and trust that when you show up, it’ll all be exactly the way you wanted it. Anyway, enjoy your bachelorette and bridal shower–it is nice to do things that others plan for you!

10/27/11 @ 2:23 pm (reply)

13.

Bee

Miss Porcupine (message) 428 posts, Helper bee

@Mrs. Snow Cone: Haha! I always wondered if I had a twin (parent trap style) out there.
@Miss Raccoon: I know they definitely are. Just have turn down the crazies in my brain.
@futuremrswifey: My mind does the same stuff. And, yup that chocolate break helps.
@Miss Fox: I feel the same way, like hmm this seems like a lot of work to plan for me, that sucks. Shouldn’t I be doing it? It takes me a second to realize that I did it for other people and it’s only normal they do it for me now.
@Miss Ladyfingers: Haha, I don’t think it’s mutually exclusive to redheads. I seriously drove a friend at work crazy trying to figure out bachelorette plans she knew. She still didn’t break though.
@Mrs. Parasol: Yes, exactly. I have to drop off all my wedding stuff the night before at the venue. I’m sure it’ll be put together beautifully, but I can’t help thinking: but maybe I should set it up?