Every wedding I have ever been to, there has been a money dance. For those of you who aren’t aware of what this is, basically your guests slip you some cash in order to dance with you until the next person comes along. While the idea is great because the couple can use the cash on their honeymoon, I have always secretly balked at this idea.
At the last wedding we were at, Mr. Buck and I completely forgot about the money dance. Neither of us had any cash on us. We only had our ATM cards, which of course did us no good. We awkwardly stood around while others were lining up to dance with the bride. Quite frankly, we felt really bad that we forgot to grab cash. (In our defense though, we did bring a pretty sweet gift.)
I made a bold proclamation to Mr. Buck that there will be NO money dance at our wedding. I had good reasoning to back this up, too. People already will be taking time to come to our wedding, possibly with a gift, and I do not want them to feel like they need to give us money to dance with me. I assumed Mr. Buck was on the same page as me…but apparently not. He completely disagreed with me and said that our guests will want to participate in the money dance.
Why do I feel like I am being pimped out by my fiance?
I suggested that he do the money dance and people can pay to dance with him. His only response was “nope, it doesn’t work that way.”
All joking aside, I can see where he is coming from. It’s tradition, everybody we know does it. We have been the buyer in many money dance situations, and now it’s our turn to have fun. The flip side of that is I don’t want people to feel awkward or feel like they have to participate.
I started to do some research to figure out the history of the money dance. From what I have found, this tradition started in Poland and has made its way around the globe. In most countries, guests pin money to the bride’s gown.
{Image via The Not Blog}
There will be zero pinning of any sharp objects on my gown. In America though, most brides wear a purse of some sort for people to put money in.
A spin on this tradition is also called the dime dance. You can have a bowl near the dance floor full of dimes. If your guests want to dance with you they can grab a dime and put it in your purse. If they would like, they can also add some of their own money to that. This seems like it could make things less awkward.
So, I need all of your wonderful Hive feedback. What do you think about the money dance? Is it common in your area? Will you have a money dance at your wedding? Why or why not?
While I don’t think I could do the money dance at my own wedding I have to admit that as a guest I LOVE participating in it…sometimes the only “one on one” time you get with the bride or groom during their day. Worth “the money” if you ask me 
My mom proposed the idea of doing a money dance at our wedding coming up. I didn’t want to even consider it because a lot of my extended family and my fiance’s family are suffering financially. If they come to our wedding at all it will be amazing. But my mom suggested doing a modified version of the money dance. Guests can still give money if they would like, or they can “pin” a little note to dance with us. I like this option because I think it would be really nice to read peoples well wishes for us.
It’s common in my area, but I’ve never heard of it only being the bride; usually people get to dance with the groom, too. I won’t be doing it at my wedding because I think it would be too awkward. Oh, we’re also not having any dancing. Problem solved! 
Most weddings I’ve been to have money dances and most of the couples and guests seem to really enjoy it as it might be the only chance to have a one-on-one conversation with the bride and/or groom. But, I refused to have one. In addition to feeling bad about asking guests for cash for a dance; the dance takes sooo long. Most of the money dances I’ve seen take at least 45 minutes. I was not willing to give up that much of my reception for something I wasn’t crazy about anyway. I wanted to take full advantage of every minute of our reception, it’s over so fast!
I know that in the Midwest every wedding I’ve been to has done a variation of the Money Dance. I’ve always heard them referred to as the Dollar Dance though. Instead of just the bride getting paid for dances, both the bride and groom participate. The MOH and BM usually control the flow and are the ones who take money from the guests who want to dance with either the bride or groom. I’m torn about it; on one hand, sometimes its the only time I get to talk to the bride or groom at a wedding because they’re so busy. On the other, I think about it for my wedding now and it makes me feel awkward just thinking about the situation.
I would say that if Mr. Buck wants to do a Money Dance, then he should be right up there with you.
I have only been to one wedding where there was a money dance, and I think it was a tradition for the bride’s family so most people knew what to do. In the South I think most people are horrified by the idea, but if guests know to expect it I don’t feel like it’s a big deal. Maybe if a lot of guests are viewing a wedding website they can be reminded there to bring cash if they want to participate? I’m sure it’s a lot harder now that fewer people carry cash.
I’ve never seen that done at a wedding before – must not be a Southern Hemisphere thing.
As a Filipino bride, it’s a *must* do at our reception. My FH’s family though has no idea what it’s about, so I’m prepping them about our custom. And I’m also reminding them that money is OPTIONAL! It’s a fun way to connect with people on a one to one basis. I’m finding slow non-love songs to play during the Money Dance though. It would be weird (to me) if they were love songs.
I’ve only been to one wedding with a money dance…it was the only wedding I’ve been to in a small town. Not sure if they are related or if I just haven’t been to many weddings…??? Not important—anywhoo…For the wedding I went to, I didn’t think anything of it and gladly paid a little cash to dance with the groom. However, now that I’m planning my wedding, I feel like it’s a little…how do I say it nicely….well, let’s just say that now when I attend weddings, I spend a lot of money on a gift or I send a lot of cash. It seems a little “grubby” for the B&G to then proceed to have a dance that I have to pay for. It’s kind of like…didn’t I give you enough already?
I don’t mean it in a super-negative way, and I wouldn’t be upset or offended if there was a money dance. But I guess where I come from, cash is king and I wouldn’t see a need to give more money, however small amount it is.
I have never heard of this, but I am of Portuguese background and he is Italian, in our tradition we do not give gifts when we go to weddings, we give an envelope filled with cash. (Usually, we cover our plate costs and then some additional cash.) I live in Toronto ON Canada and the average plate cost between $100-130 easily so we end up giving about $300 for a wedding! It can get expensive…but that’s why we don’t have a wedding money dance. And my dress is a delicate fabric; I wouldn’t want people poking it.
Does any one else gove money as gifts?
I’ve never seen one either. I’ve heard of it but have never seen it. I vote, no. Many people don’t carry cash, it takes too long, and they probably already bought you a present. And, I dunno, it just seems…the dreaded “T” word.
i agree with everyone that says the dollar dance is a nice way to get some one-on-one time with the bride or groom.
mrs pony, and those who say it takes longer than you want to devote to it at the reception, there is a faster version called a dollar DASH, which is a more recent popular thing at receptions, at least in the midwest.
they play a fast, usually funny money-related song and the bride and groom run around collecting cash from guests. then they count it up and see who “won.”
a DJ i recently talked to about it (for an article — im a journalist) said its about 50-50 for his clients, depending on what the bride wants and the type of family/crowd.
i personally feel like the dollar dance is classier, but a recent wedding I went to, the bride and groom were both snowmobilers so they collected money in helmets. and at another one where the couple is more…wild and crazy…they had people stuffing it in their pants/dress people seemed to love both and not be offended, so I think it’s really up to the couple.
the DJ said some couples do the dash as a 50-50 raffle where they keep half and a guest wins half.
just some ideas!
I quite enjoy the Money/Dollar Dance for the same reason Pengy does: it’s a great chance for a moment with the bride and groom. I always enjoyed participating because it’s a lot of fun, especially with my guy friends because it’s usually the only time I’ve ever danced with them.
My family would hissy fit and Pony had a good point about time concerns, but some friends had a dollar dance and everyone who participated enjoyed it. Let us know what you decide!
This is so funny! I have only ever been to one wedding with a wedding dance, so I’m not familiar with the tradition at all. Although it would have been nice to pick up a few extra bucks at the wedding, since Mr. P and I aren’t used to the money dance, it was a pretty easy no brainer to opt out.
@Mrs. Pony: 45 minute money dances?! What? That’s crazy!
I love the money dance – it’s a great way to get a few moments of one on one time with the bride and groom. I’m Polish so it has been done at just about every wedding I’ve ever been to. We aren’t planning to have it at ours unless someone else decides to start it. I hope they don’t though because we are already having a bridal march where people donate money so I don’t want to look greedy! I love the tradition of all these things!
I have never done or seen a money dance, and kind of wish I had. My husband and I got married a year ago this Sunday, and that would have made a things a little more interesting.
The reason I hate dollar dances is because you only get to dance with them for about 30 seconds, but the dance last for two or three slow songs – what do you think everyone else is doing in the meantime? Bo-ring. My fiance’s uncle suggested that we get behind the bar and really earn our money – sling drinks for 20 or so minutes for tips. We checked with the catering staff and they’re totally cool (no mixing drinks, just passing out beer). We are considering either doing that, or nothing at all.
Mrs. Doe, Northern California Age and Occupation: 24, Real Estate Assistant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 23, Recycling Manager Engagement Date: December 25, 2010 Wedding Date: May 2012 Venue: Monte Verde Inn About Me: I’m a Rat Pack fan and a Christmas nut that loves to read, good wine, cheesy ’80s movies and ’90s sitcoms. My wiener dog with an attitude problem and lazy basset hound are my constant source of entertainment. He's a hunter and I like cooking so it's not rare to see wild game on our dinner menu. Both of us were born and raised in a small historic farming town where our feet are still firmly planted. We have been together for nearly a decade and have shared many life experiences together, including birthdays that are only one day apart. We are two old souls that are creating our long-awaited wedding with loads of tradition that blends our two styles into rustic elegance in the foothills of Northern California.
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