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I know that the name change topic has been greatly discussed many times here, but I wanted to get the hive’s opinion on my situation.
Mr. PF is Caucasian, with a very Caucasian last name, and I am Hispanic with a very Hispanic last name. I always figured I would take my husband’s last name, but I only recently started considering keeping my name. I know that just because you change your last name it doesn’t mean that you are losing any part of your culture, but to me it sorta feels that way. I almost feel like I am denying a part of who I am and who I have been for 25 years.
I know that changing my name isn’t going to completely change who I am. A rose is still a rose, right? But our cultural differences has made this a difficult decision for me.
Mr. PF fully supports me keeping my last name, but the traditionalist in me wants us to have the same last name so we can be our own little family unit. Ugh, why can’t I have my cake and eat it too?
Did your cultural heritage affect your name change decision? Are you culturally/racially tied to your maiden last name? If so, how did you go about deciding whether or not to take your FI’s last name?
you’re already your own family unit, girlfriend 
pdog and i are super proud to be two individuals in an awesome partnership, and we just happen to roll with different last names.
I love how you connected you feel to your last name and I understand how it represents your culture, but I am a little more traditional. I think there’s something very sacred and romantic as taking your soon to be husband’s last name, since I’ve been little and every boyfirend I’ve always I had I play around with what my name would look like with their last name, corny I know, but I always think about when we have children I want us all to have the same last name as a family that represents who we are as a whole.
@Mrs. Prairie Dog: Preach it, PDog! I’m on team “awesome partnership with different last names.” Same last names don’t equal a committed relationship and family. In the end, do what’s best for YOU, Miss PF! If that’s keeping your name or changing it, as long as you choose what’s most comfortable for you, you’ll be OK. 
I’m having the same debate! I think it’s nice for one family to have the same name, but I’m attached to my last name for cultural/ethnic reasons. I feel like I’m really losing something if I change my name…I think hyphenating will look funny, so a little torn on the issue!
My situation is exactly the same as yours. I’m Hispanic, FI is caucasian. I keep going back and forth in my decision and I am still not convinced I should change my last name. At the same time I think I should just go for it and embrace it. But part of me thinks I will miss too much my last name, since its more than who I am, its where I come from. Maybe I’ll use mine as my middle name - many people do not like this option because it creates confusion. So we’ll see, I’m curious to see what other answers you get
Follow your heart. You don’t need to have the same last name to be a family. Here in Spain (as well as in Italy) women do not change their last names. In fact, in Spain, children have 2 last names, the father’s and the mother’s (parents decide which comes first)…doesn’t that seem like keeping both family identities? It is all debatable. In the end, a name doesn’t make the family, the people do. I don’t have to make the decision (as deciding to change my name would make me weird here, but if I had the option I would keep mine…it ties me to my family, it ties me to my country, it is me). I always feel its weird to see friends from school in the US with different last names on Facebook…it just isn’t how I identify them. But again, don’t do what people think is normal because normal for you is not normal for someone else and vice versa. Do what you feel in your heart. You won’t be betraying or disrepecting anyone but yourself if you don’t.
I always knew that I would take my husband’s last name without question. Like you though, I have a very Irish sounding last name and my husband has a very Jewish sounding last name. The adjustment was difficult, but like Aud1628 I feel more connected to my husband because we have the same last name. Do what you want though!
I have never viewed my culture as something keeping me from changing my last name.
Maybe it’s because I’m of mixed ancestry, but really- I’m American. That is what I identify with. And Americans look very different and have all kinds of different last names. I think that’s why I’m having touble understanding your concerns.
But I agree with the others- follow your heart.
Thanks for the input guys. I love hearing how some people end up not changing their name, but still feel like a family unit.
Pdog- you are seriously my idol 
Do what Makes you happy. But don’t regret it. You both have chosen to be together forever so why not show the world this. I understand it is hard, because you now have a choice. Our mothers did not have a choice. I had the same problem, my husband is Asian but along the line has a German last name (ya wierd huh?) I am just a plain American girl with a mix of everything with a very generic name that can be found on 20+ pages of a phone book (if they still print those) I was panicing as we went to get our License to get married and it was suggested that I take my last name as a 2nd middle name and then we could have the same last name! Yea! Panic over and I get to keep something I have had for 34 years and still have “us” share a name with our hopeful future children. Now its been a few months and that extra initial is wonderful because I know it helped me make a difficult choice but honestly I love everytime I hear or write my new last name - I am so proud to not only have the ring on my finger, the commitment we have made but also share Our Name. Its us, not me and him. Not our Parents or siblings (which I love completely) but its US! All of our Past all of our Present and everything to come. What ever you choose make it for the both of you and make sure you are okay with it. It is hard to make changes when you have lived with such a special name for so Long. But you can incorporate it any way you want. I have an extra long name now. And I am okay with that, because at the time it was important but now - it just doesn’t matter. I want everyone to know we belong to eachother.
We are your mirror! I’m caucasian with a German last name and my fiance is Puerto Rican with a definitively hispanic last name. My biggest concern is not necessarily whether or not to change my last name (I’m doing it mostly for the “united family” reason), but that I’d like our children to have first names that reflect my heritage because our last name will already reflect his. I feel really selfish saying that, but I’d like for us both to apart of their names some how!
I kept my last name- if you like your last name, you should keep it. It doesn’t make you any less of a family unit.
I had the same concerns! So what I decided to do was to lose my middle name (which I’ve never used and never really liked) and move my maiden name to my middle name and take FH’s last name. It means a lot to me to keep my own name because it’s who I’ve always been and I also want to take FH’s last name because I like it and I know it means a lot to him. Best of both worlds I think!
My mindset is like that of the others- follow your heart. That being said, I understand where you’re coming from when you say that you are proud of who you are, your culture, and that you feel as though you are sort of losing who you are and have been. I have decided that I will be keeping my name by adding it as a second middle name and then adding my love’s on the end. Therefore we will have the same last name but I’m adding his name, not subtracting mine.
Would you consider it with the Hispanic double last names tradition - where you have two last names? So you get the best of both worlds?
where I’m from, it’s definitely the norm for women to keep their last names in marriage! and what with gender equality, why not?
I will be changing my name and to be honest, I haven’t really thought twice about it. Granted, neither of our names carries cultural significance (we are both Caucasian), so this was not a factor. I do know what you mean about wanting to have that form of connection (not that it is by any means the only or best form of connection). I think it all boils down to it being what is best for you, and this varies a lot between people - there are a lot of reasons both for and against changing, so it just comes down to what these reasons mean to you. Have you considered a hyphenated name? Just a thought on the best of both worlds idea…
I say you shouldn’t change anything unless you 100% sure that’s what you want. I totally feel connected to my last name and I won’t change anything until I know with complete certainty that it is the best thing for me and our family.
I have a very hispanic last name, while not being hispanic (go figure!) and my husband has a very caucasian last name without being caucasian. I like my hispanic last name, simply because it makes me unique…however, for the united family front, I took his last name, and moved my maiden name to a 2nd middle name
I had kept my last name for 2 yrs (not because I am of different culture) its just that it was unique and there are no more left after me. I recently changed after having my son and got tired of explaining our 2 last names (hyphen wasnt an option because each name is 7-9 letters long )
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Miss Petit Four, San Antonio/Isla Mujeres Age and Occupation: 25, Technology teacher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Math Teacher and Football Coach Engagement Date: Feb 13, 2010 Wedding Date: March 2012 Venue: Zama Beach Club, Isla Mujeres, Mexico About Me: I am a polka-dot obsessed, destination wedding diva living and loving in the great state of Texas. I am an island girl at heart and I visit the beach as often as I can. I am a wannabe DIY goddess, but that doesn’t mean I won’t give it my best shot. I love pearl earrings, the color pink, and ruffles are a part of my everyday wardrobe. My wonderful fiance and I are planning a destination wedding with our closest family and friends and we’re leaving a trail of glitter in our path!
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