Weddingbee Blog

I feel very privileged to have grown up surrounded by different cultures, nationalities and races. It was no surprise that I ended up in an interracial relationship; with the environment that I grew up in, it’s not really a big deal. Our immediate families are fine with it. A few of the Mr.’s relatives are not OK with it and didn’t come to the wedding. I’ve never been exposed to this kind of blind racism before and I must be honest: it was a little shocking. The fact that they had written me off without even meeting me stings. I guess I’ve had a sheltered life. Lately, my eyes have been opening and I’m becoming more aware of the effect our relationship has on others.

Sometimes it’s a subtle comment. “Oh, another interracial couple. How nice!” Subtext: “Wow, another interracial couple.” Or the ever popular, “Your children will look very exotic.” Subtext: “Your children will look…different.” My hairdresser for more than two years now was shocked to learn that I was in an interracial couple. When I told her she was quiet for a long time before finally asking, “But what does your mother think?!”

Seriously?

Look people, we met, connected and fell in love. He proposed, I said yes and now we’re married. We did not conspire to marry because we’re trying make a political statement or mix gene pools. WE ARE IN LOVE. And it’s nobody’s business but our own.

Other times, the racism is not subtle at all. One night we were walking home and passed a man spewing out racist remarks about our “interracial abomination.” We walked, holding hands by a woman at an amusement park only to hear her scream “Interracial!” at our backs. In front of children. A few months ago, we encountered a man with neo-Nazi tattoos on his face walking towards us. He proceeded to give me, in particular, the coldest stare down of my life as he walked past us. I could not take my eyes off the huge black tattooed letters that spelled HATE on his forehead. The Mr. later told me that he was terrified the man was going to attack us.

Whether I choose to acknowledge it or not, our interracial relationship is a big deal. And even though we may not look at ourselves as different races, we are reminded daily from strangers, friends and absent family members that we are. I hate having it thrown in my face that we come from “different worlds.” Yes, we have different cultures and our ancestors are from different continents, but come on people! It’s 2011! Different continents or not, we are NOT that different. I wish we could be viewed as just a couple and not always always always as an interracial couple.

Are you facing any stigma towards your relationship? Any other couples feeling my pain?

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