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“What do you want to look like on your wedding day?” That is the question they always ask at the beginning of an appointment on SYTTD. But from the start, I knew what I didn’t want to look like! I know many women want to look like a princess at their wedding, ball gown, tiara, glass slippers, and all. Although I sure enjoyed the game Pretty Pretty Princess as a kid. (Do you remember?)
Pretty Pretty Princess via Amazon.com
I never wanted to be a princess on my wedding day! I think this stems back to my mother. You see, my mom is a realist. She and my dad have been together for over 30 years and, while they still stand strong, they have seen their fair share of marriages fail. So from an early age my mom liked to remind me that “life is not like the fairy tales.” She explained to me that while my Disney princess movies were fun, life rarely works out like that. And more importantly, she explained that relationships are a lot of hard work. The endings of fairy tales, when the couple marries, is really just the beginning of their story! So as excited as I am to plan an awesome party to celebrate the day Mr. Elk and I say “I do,” I cannot think of myself as a princess.
But what do I want to look like on my wedding day? Myself! And what does “myself” mean? Well, all my life I pretty much imagined I would wear a lace dress when I got married, but then came Sunday Rose…oh Monique!
I know this dress is controversial in the wedding world…but I fell head over heels when it first came out a few years ago and my cousin was getting married! I saw it in the bridal salon and nearly cried! So when I got engaged, I decided I wanted a romantic feel with three-dimensional floral details! Here are some of the very expensive dresses that stole my heart during my internet quest:
From left: Christos, Angel Sanchez, Melissa Sweet, Elie Saab for Pronovias
And here are the more affordable versions I lusted after for months:
From Left: Watters Sonara, Wtoo Desdemona, Tara Keeley, Watters Mojave, Saison Blanche
How do you feel about the whole “princess bride” idea?
I also love these dresses! I ended up with an Allure Couture that was in budget and still had the “feel” that I wanted. I never wanted to be a princess bride, but I played the heck out of some Pretty, Pretty Princess when I was little - my parents had to hide the game from me for awhile!
I definitely think it’s for some people and not for others - I’m similar to you and fall into the “not for me” camp. I had such a hard time when I first started looking at dresses, because honestly? I never actually thought about what I wanted to look like on my wedding day until I got engaged. The one thing I did know, like you, was no ballgown, no floofy, no princess!
I’ve seen a couple people call this dress “controversial”, but with no explanation as to why. I don’t get it… it’s a wedding dress. What makes it controversial?
I’m in the same boat as you. I hate the idea of a tiara or anything too sparkly on my head on my wedding day. And although I thought I’d look good in a big sparkly ball gown, turns out I’m an A-line kinda girl. To me, wedding doesn’t equal princess. I want to be pretty, not princess-y.
I would have loved to don the princess look for my wedding but having my first wedding at age 42 doesn’t really go with the princess look. I mean really….How many princesses have you seen with wrinkles? LOL
BTW (my daughter had that pink pretty princess kit when she was younger. Heck it may still be lying around somewhere. With missing pieces or coarse!)
I was with you and didn’t want to look like a princess on my wedding day. Instead, I wanted to look more “old Hollywood glamour,” and I love how that turned out 
Adore these dresses you’ve picked out!
I LOVED the game Pretty Pretty Princess as a child! I used to beg until my dad agreed to play it with me (yeah my dad is that awesome) and loved having all the pretty jewelry on. But, the older I got the less girly and princess like I wanted to be. When I went dress shopping my only requirements were it can’t be strapless, princess-like or puffy. However, I ended up with a big puffy v-neck ball gown. I LOVE how it swishes when I walk and how it compliments my figure.
I totally feel you on the princess thing. I just DON’T get it. I don’t want to wear a tiara. I never wanted a princessy ballgown. Last time I checked my future husband works in sales/marketing- not in the King’s quarters. ha. The concept of being a princess for a day has always been lost on me. And, I LOVE all your dress inspiration photos. Can’t wait to see what you’re going with.
What a good answer! I don’t think I have ever heard anyone say “me” when asked what they want to look like. I think those dresses are stunning! Mr. D would probably not have gone for Sunday Rose, as he likes more simple and traditional styles, but I think it definitely works for some people. Can’t wait to see what you will be wearing!
I don’t think everyone who gets a ballgown necessarily wants to look like a princess. My parents are like yours (their 30th anniversary is the same week as my wedding) and I grew up being told that relationships are hard, and that there will be times that you want to give up, but you have to just work at it and it’s all a part of marriage. I also never envisioned what I wanted to look like on my wedding day or thought that I was in a fairy tale/marrying my prince charming. You what I ended up buying? One of the alfred angelo disney dresses! You know why? Because I think it’s pretty! I didn’t buy it for its name/brand, it caught my eye and I loved it In fact, most of the dresses I liked look a lot like your picks, which is what everyone else called “princessy”. I did know that I’m only getting married once, and so I want a WEDDING DRESS… something that I could only wear on this day, so I guess I did want something more traditional.
I loved the idea of a pretty ball gown and a tiara…until I finally became engaged and now i find myself wanting to look beautiful,elegant, and vintage…kinda crazy how things change when you are actually facing the actual feat of being a bride instead of just entertaining an idea of being a bride. I found my dream dress and its my goal to save enough money to get it. It’s by Maggie Sottero it’s called the Bernadette
I want to be myself too, and I am just not the princess type. I actually toyed with the idea of some kind of corset top and white jeans, but it is going to be a special day, so I conceded to a tea-length dress that will show off new cowgirl boots.
My fiance always makes me FEEL like a princess, even with messy hair and pajamas - so there’s no need to dress like a princess.
I’m with you… to me, wearing a tiara on your wedding day reminds me of prom…. it’s just a very juvenile look, to me.
I’m fine with blingy hair accessories, and even a sparkly headband gets a pass from me if it’s cute and understated… but that *tiara* look… just not a fan.
I definitely did not want to fee like a princess either, I wanted to feel like a fancier version of my everyday self. I’m loving your dress inspiration!
Great post!! What’s fascinating is that the whole idea surrounding the big, fancy dress stemmed from Queen Victoria’s wedding in the early 1800’s. She’s the reason almost all brides wear white!
Weddings used to be smaller, family-oriented, civil affairs, almost always centered around the church. It’s only in the last 40 years that the average woman has tried to act/look like royalty or a Hollywood celebrity on her wedding day.
One hundred years ago, it would have been tacky to splash out on a big expensive wedding, so it seems to be expected! Funny how times change…
I had a moment of princess envy (hello, Kate Middleton…), but then realized I’d look silly in a tiara.
My wedding day look is what I’d consider tradition romance - not “princess” but not too far from it, either.
I’ve never understood the “princess bride” thing in general, let alone for myself. I love how your mom talked to you about Disney, that rules! As I’ve gotten into wedding planning, I’ve found my mom is hugely open to anything I really want to do, but does have some disparaging comments to make about over-the-top things she perceives to be for what she calls “people who want to think they’re royalty”. Luckily, I don’t want anything like that, so we’re good there.
@NC Girl: by controversial I mean either you love it or you hate it
@zippitydoodah: to me its not about the shape of the dress necessarily, but about the idea that you WANT to be a princess….its just something I don’t understand.
No princess for me either. I just wanted to look beautiful and classic. Another customer in the salon told me I looked like a princess when I tried my dress on but I just think she thought this what I wanted to hear! Love your inspiration pictures.
I’ve never wanted to be a princess unless I was marrying a prince, haha.
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Miss Elk, City: Syracuse/Long Island Age and Occupation: 25, Medical Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Computer Engineer Engagement Date: November 22, 2010 Wedding Date: May 2012 Venue: The Old Field Club About Me: I’m a Long Island girl finishing my last year of medical school in western NY, on the road to becoming a pediatrician. When I’m not studying or sleeping at the hospital, I spend my free time watching bad TV (Vampire Diaries anyone?), playing with my pooch, singing incredibly off-key (to the annoyance of Mr. Elk ), and reading Harry Potter for the zillionth time. Mr. Elk and I are planning a secular wedding infused with both Irish and cultural Jewish traditions. Only a week after I become an M.D., I will get my Mrs. degree, too!
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