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Last Friday was a pretty good mail day here: voting ballot, Room and Board catalog, Time magazine, wedding invitation. The last piece of mail was particularly exciting. Mr. Mole’s good friends—and fellow greyhound owners—are getting married after dating for years and years. While the news of their marriage wasn’t particularly surprising, the details of their wedding were. They are getting married the weekend before Thanksgiving—in West Palm Beach, Florida.
West Palm Beach / Image via Wikipedia
Mr. Mole and I are also having a destination wedding. However, I have to be honest that my first thoughts about their wedding were something eloquent like, “Ack! How much are plane tickets going to be? How much will the hotel room be? Are we going to have to rent a car? How long is that flight going to be? What are we going to do about the dog? Can we take off enough time from work to make this cross-country trip worthwhile?
Part of the reason for the stress about these questions is the fact that we have done quite a bit of traveling this year already, and we have a few more trips planned in the next three months. We went to Wisconsin for my sister’s wedding in September. We went to Chicago for Mr. Mole’s friend’s wedding in October. We are going to Vegas for Thanksgiving in November. We are going to NYC for my birthday in December. We are going to Wisconsin again for Christmas. We are going back to Vegas in January and back to Wisconsin (again!) in February for our wedding events. These trips obviously take away from our vacation days and checking account. This November wedding is going to be another figure for the debit column.
Yet, after some discussion, we realized that all of these trips add to our overall quality of life. To continue my metaphor above, this benefit goes in the credit column. It’s going to be worth it to see our friends again and watch them get married. (And, of course, to soak in some Florida sun in the late fall.) So we sent in our RSVP.
Anyway, I hope that our friends feel the same way about our upcoming destination wedding. We realize that it will mean that our friends and family will have to buy plane tickets and hotel rooms and take days off from work. They will have to board their dogs and sit on long flights. We appreciate that more than we can say.
What is your feeling about destination weddings? Would you ever choose to have one for yourself?
We’ve thought about either Vegas or Hawaii. We live in AZ (Phx area) so Vegas is pretty close like it is for you, and he lived in Hawaii and is close with a Hawaiian family so that would be awesome. Most likely we’ll either have our wedding here in town or in Vegas.
The idea of a destination wedding only crossed our minds for a split second. Both of us wanted this to be as hassle free as possible for our guests, so decided to have it locally. To us, it was more important to have as many of our family and friends in attendance than the locale of the wedding itself.
That said, I’m not against destination weddings. But I would only attend for very close friends and close family since the expenses do add up very quickly.
I live in NYC but my wedding was in Houston. It was a destination wedding for my friends from NYC and all our other friends that live outside of Houston BUT all our family members live in Houston so it wasn’t that big a trip for them. Except the ones that had to come all the way from Africa of course 
If I had it my way I would get married on the back of a Cruise ship destination: anywhere! Sometimes the thought of wedding related costs make my stomach hurt. Plus, I know that the majority of my family would make the haul if they were given enough notice. It might take some convincing to get the parents on board, but I’m gonna give it a shot!
We really wanted a destination wedding, but it would not have been possible for many of our favorite people to be there with us, so we had to go a different route. And I went to my first destination wedding a few weeks ago, I loved it!
PS. If anyone has any tips of things to do, see, or eat in the Palm Beaches, let me know! I’d appreciate it!
@futureMrsCPT: You’ll have to let me know if you have it in Vegas! I can share some resources!
@lauraq123: Very good points! In some ways, we wish that we could have a local wedding too — but only my FSIL and FBIL live locally to our new home!
@bRooklynRocks: That certainly is a destination, then, for your African guests! How great is it that they were able to come!
@jessica.dirr: I bet a wedding on a cruise ship would be a lot of fun! I’ve never been on a cruise, but I am trying to talk Mr. Mole into an Alaskan cruise someday.
@Mrs. Pony: That’s so nice that you took your guests into so much consideration; I’m sure they really appreciated it!
Holy travels! A destination wedding was never considered for us, although I do see the attraction. I suppose if the misters family treks from Alabama, it will be a destination for them
@Miss Honey: In some ways, I can’t wait until AFTER our honeymoon so we can just spend some weekends on the couch at home! I guess that’s what happens when you move away from friends and family: you need to buy more plane tickets!
We considered it for a moment but realized that many members of our immediate family could not afford it and it would have been even more burdensome for our wedding party who already had expenses related to our day… The only way it would have made sense for our participants is if we paid for them. And this option may have still been cheaper than hosting a comparatively larger wedding locally, but not by much…
I think some weddings become destination weddings for their guests simply because the couple moved away…and that cannot be avoided. Truthfully though, I probably wouldn’t attend a destination wedding that was thrown for fun because my travel dollars and time off work is so very limited…
Honestly, we usually decline “destination” or out-of-town wedding invitations. We plan out our vacations at the beginning of the year and usually don’t have enough time/$/vacation days to attend. Having said that, our wedding IS out of town b/c it’s where I am from (as opposed to where we live now). However, I 100% understand if people can’t make it due to the distance. I will not harbor any bad feelings towards them. It’s just where we want to get married!
@AT: Totally, totally fair! We are going to be offering up some money for our guests who need it, so we definitely had to budget that in our plans. Knowing that not everyone could make it also meant that we had to budget for a hometown party — and not in our new hometown, but the place where most of my relatives live — so that we could celebrate with everyone!
@JB: I am in somewhat of the same boat! It’s rough to plan a wedding that is convenient for everyone when you are in a different place than the majority of your guests — or of your wedding location! We don’t live near any of our friends and family members, so they would all have to fly here if we had the wedding in LA. Luckily, though, Vegas is going to be cheaper for everyone!
All of our family is here in Woodland Hills, CA so it made sense to get married in LA. We would have loved to get married in Hawaii tho! Just too much $$&
@Cecilia: Hello, fellow CA bride! I’m having my alterations done in your neck of the woods.
I would def pay for a destination wedding for my friends. Such a great vacation opportunity and a chance for new memories.
@Future Army Wife: I agree in the importance of making new memories (and reliving old ones) — especially with people you don’t get to see often.
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Mrs. Mole, Los Angeles/Las Vegas Age and Occupation: 29, Test Prep Instructor Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31, User Experience Architect Engagement Date: April 2011 Wedding Date: January 2012 Venue: Wynn Las Vegas/Bouchon Bistro About Me: I’m a Wisconsinite-turned-Angeleno who is planning a destination wedding in Las Vegas. I am passionate about education: I spent 23 (!) consecutive years in school, and now I work to help other people get into graduate programs. I love running on the treadmill, buying bath products from Lush, learning new moves in step aerobics, and exploring my neighborhood on foot. I am sometimes snobby about food, but I am rarely snobby about books. I read everything from Geoffrey Chaucer to Iris Murdoch to Chuck Klosterman to Candace Bushnell. My fiance and I are getting married on our third anniversary!
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