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Miss Hawk, Richmond, VA Age and Occupation: 26, Finance Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, District Supervisor Engagement Date: March 13, 2011 Wedding Date: May 2012 Venue: The Chapel of the Sir Christopher Wren Building, 2007 Legacy Hall About Me: I’m an Arizona-born girl who has spent the majority of my life living below the Mason-Dixon line. The South has definitely earned a special place in my heart (alongside my Virginia born and bred fiance, of course!). We are planning a traditional Christian ceremony at my alma mater in historic Williamsburg, Virginia, followed by a rocking reception filled with Southern cooking and vintage/shabby chic details. When we’re not wedding planning, we enjoy spending time with our three dogs, going for runs together, watching plenty of football (or baseball depending on the season), and sampling new wine.
About Miss Hawk

Wedding-Dress Dread

November 15th, 2011 @ 11:47 am by Miss Hawk

Wedding-dress shopping is kind of a big deal. (Hello, there are even television shows dedicated to the process!) And although I usually L.O.V.E. most shopping trips, the prospect of finding “the dress” totally turned me off. Besides watching other brides find their dresses on TV, there really wasn’t anything appealing about it. As various people found out I was getting married, many of them excitedly asked, “Have you found your dress yet?!” I became accustomed to my go-to response of, “No, net yet. And I’m really not looking forward to it.” (This was typically returned with the you-have-three-heads look.) I guess dress shopping is a part of the wedding process that many brides look back fondly upon, but I thought it was going to be a disaster.

I’m a pretty averaged-sized girl who takes care of herself with exercise and healthy eating most of the time and, like most women, I wanted to look exceptionally beautiful on my wedding day. Through reading many magazines and articles, I had learned that wedding-dress sizing did not correspond with street-clothes sizing. In fact, wedding dresses could be a whole one to two sizes smaller. Since it would be impractical for most dress shops to have a sample in every size, they only kept certain sizes on hand. To me this translated as a warning cry. “Prepare yourself! Nothing will fit!” I, like any bride, wanted to enjoy the shopping experience, but I had fun-house-style images in my head. Although the label size never bothered me, I pictured literally nothing fitting. Even though I really enjoyed them, I don’t think all of the dress shows really helped to ease my fears either. The episodes all captured so much drama! (Tears, broken budgets, and family squabbles, oh my!) And even though more recently they have started featuring brides of all sizes, most of the shows I watched featured itty-bitty girls. (And model-thin, I was not.)

Wedding-Dress Dread :  wedding richmond wedding dress 32972 M 32972_M

A not-so-happy Minnie pin via Okey Dokey Goodies

To make a difficult process worse, I thought back on my special-event-dress experiences of the past. In high school searching for banquet and prom dresses was a total chore. I used to try on dress after dress after dress… even thinking back on it is exhausting, really. (I’m sure Momma Hawk still has nightmares.) I knew indecision would be my worst enemy. (Prom was not NEARLY as important as a wedding! I figured that my indecision would grow exponentially along with the importance of the event. Dress.Shopping.HELL.)

These fears stayed with me for months until Momma and Sister Hawk came into town during the summer for a whirlwind week of all things wedding. I knew their arrival would be D-Day. (I had literally scheduled dress appointments their first full day in case it took all week for me to come to a decision!) I was fearful up until the moment I saw myself in the mirror in my first dress. I looked kinda good and the dress was kinda beautiful. I’m sure the oohing and ahhing of my supportive mom and sister definitely helped my confidence as well, but what really changed my attitude was my bridal consultant. She, very sweetly, reminded me that: 1.) I had a great figure and 2.) It would be more difficult to find a dress I didn’t like than finding one I did like because they would all be beautiful on me. Now, if I had verbalized my fears more clearly to my family, I know they would have said something similar, but having an outsider say it really snapped me out of my funk. From there on out I was really able to enjoy the process and, wouldn’t you know it, I found my dress on the first day.

Did you share in my wedding-dress-shopping mentality or were you excited from the start? Did it end up being easier/harder than you had imagined?

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17 Responses to “Wedding-Dress Dread”

1.
LetsGoPens
Member
LetsGoPens (message)  1,483 posts, Bumble bee

I was just like you. I was putting off trying on dresses for months because I was worried that I wouldn’t look right in a dress. I eat healthy and I work out also but I am not stick skiny. When I finally decided that I can’t wait any longer because time is running out I made an appointment. I actually had fun and the dresses looked great. Then I went to my second appointment and I found my dress.

 
2.
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Bee
Miss Unicycle (message)  292 posts, Helper bee

I feel like I wrote this, Hawk! In fact, I have an eerily similar post coming up in the next few days. Seriously, I agree completely! I thought sample sizes were like 2’s and 4’s, but I was wrong! I think a lot of brides are scared to go dress shopping, but they’re not as vocal as the brides who can’t wait to go.

 
3.
knvprincess143
Member
knvprincess143 (message)  802 posts, Busy bee

I was excited until I got there and my consultant was not as nice as yours. She kept bringing me ugly dresses I never asked for and avoided the dresses I did asked for. Then when I almost died as a casualty to tulle and taffeta, I wanted to get out of there. I need to add those dressing rooms should be 3 times larger than they are so you can move with ease. But when the, not so friendly lady, finally brought me the one I asked for, I found…hold it…THE ONE! First trip out, was the only trip. Other than the fact I’ve been back twice to try my dress on for others, even though I already ordered it. Now that is fun because I love my dress.

 
4.
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Bee
Miss Dalmatian (message)  480 posts, Helper bee

I must admit, I was excited to go dress shopping. Not because I am super confident, but I just love dresses! I do agree, though, that a consultant can make a big difference, and it definitely can help to get an outsider’s opinion. I’m glad you ended up having fun, I can’t wait to see what you chose!

 
5.
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Bee
Mrs. Pony (message)  4,171 posts, Honey bee

I was very nervous to go dress shopping-there’s a lot of pressure placed on finding the ‘right one’!

 
6.
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Member
Genuine513 (message)  662 posts, Busy bee

I am a size 12 wedding dress and had no problems trying on dresses, yes a few didn’t fit but I did have one consultant lace me into a size 6 (I couldn’t breathe but I looked darn good in it lol). Glad it went well for you.

 
7.
LibbyLoo
Member
LibbyLoo (message)  188 posts, Blushing bee

Ugh - I’m totally dreading trying on wedding dresses. Being a plus-sized girl just makes it all the worse and more stressful. I just feel like not only will nothng fit me but that there won’t be anything for me to even try on and they’ll just end up holding up dresses to my neck and saying “This will give you an idea…” How humiliating. I started losing weight on November 1st and have lost 8 pounds so far but I refuse to even bother to go until I’m down at least 30 pounds. Even then, I’m STILL dreading it.

 
8.
friedicecream
Member
friedicecream (message)  26 posts, Newbee

I’m horribly afraid of dress shopping myself. I keep telling people I can’t go because I’ll get arrested for punching out a salesgirl who thinks she knows better than me, or who keeps trying to upsell me. A billion things could look great on you, but that doesn’t matter if it’s not your style.

Luckily I have a recommendation for a good dressmaker.

 
9.
alicia1745
Member
alicia1745 (message)  468 posts, Helper bee

I feel like I wrote this post- I even posted on the boards how much I was dreading dress shopping. I finally caved & went shopping because everyone was on my case that I was going to run out of time. My first appointment went ok- I wasn’t thrilled with anything. I went to another store the next day & was not impressed with the consultant. I ended up trying on 2 dresses before leaving. A few weeks later I made another appointment at the first store I went to- but requested a different consultant. I felt a much better vibe with this person but still didn’t find my dress. I was getting very discouraged. I decided to go back with my Mom (not sure why I kept going back to the same store) but it ended up working. I found a dress on the 4th trip with my Mom. I’m still not confident that I love my dress but it is pretty. I ended up buying a dress that was nothing like I wanted- but felt like I had to because my Mom cried and loved it.

I’m glad you ended up having fun & can’t wait to see what dress you picked!

 
10.
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Bee
Miss Sunhat (message)  865 posts, Busy bee

Aw! I’m so glad the experience was better than you had imagined. I was worried about samples fitting but thank goodness I found a salon that could meet my needs.

 
11.
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Member
jslb (message)  37 posts, Newbee

I had some major dread especially since the week before we went wedding dress shopping for my very petite sister, everything looked so amazing on her I didn’t think it would be the same for me. However, wedding dresses really are made to fit everyone and make every woman beautiful, my worrying was unnecessary.

 
12.
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Bee
Mrs. Socks (message)  1,323 posts, Bumble bee

It’s great that it wasn’t as bad as it seemed! I had this fear as well, so I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’m so glad that it turned out well for you :)

 
13.
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Bee
Miss Hawk (message)  598 posts, Busy bee

@LetsGoPens: I’m glad to hear you found a dress you loved!

@Miss Unicycle: I’m glad I’m not alone in this! I think you may be right about it being more common that one would think. (Can’t wait to hear your take on dress shopping soon!)

@knvprincess143: Ugh. I hate it when people refuse to listen, but I am very glad that it worked out in the end!

@Miss Dalmatian: Once I started it ended up being much more fun that I had imagined!

 
14.
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Bee
Miss Hawk (message)  598 posts, Busy bee

@Mrs. Pony: You’re absolutely right. And being on a one-week deadline added an extra layer of stress!

@Genuine513: Its amazing what the consultants can do with a little nipping and tucking, right?

@LibbyLoo: Well coming from someone who beat the dread, all I can say is to try and stay positive. Most likely it will be easier than you have imagined!

@friedicecream: You are right. There are so many styles out there. Good luck with your dressmaker!

@alicia1745: I’m glad you found something. Don’t be too hard on yourself. I was expecting some super-emotional moment to happen when I found mine and it didn’t. I was content and knew I didn’t want to look anymore.

 
15.
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Bee
Miss Hawk (message)  598 posts, Busy bee

@Miss Sunhat: I think finding the right salon/consultant is key in having a good experience.

@jslb: Very true. Hope you found your dream dress!

@Mrs. Socks: Thank you. It’s amazing how a small worry can turn into something bigger in your mind.

 
16.
Guest Icon
Guest
Partyspace.com

I must say most brides that we encounter say exactly the same thing! Seriously, wouldn’t a “wedding psychiatrist” make a killing? Especially talking brides down when they are about to go dress shopping! I think this has a lot to do with our society…we are constantly reminded of what “beauty” looks like and I think we really just need to look in the mirror and treasure what beauty means to us. Another huge factor I think is the proper undergarments! The perfect shape wear, no matter what your size, can help enhance any wedding dress. All in all, Congratulations on finding your dress on the first try!!!

 
17.
Member Icon
Member
Future Army Wife (message)  1,101 posts, Bumble bee

I’ve lost like 25 pounds since the last time I went shopping, and I’m still dreading it. I like my current method of clothes shopping: go to stores where I know exactly what size I wear, see something, like it, buy it. None of this preening in the mirror or having to visualize how a sample size will actually look in my size.

 

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Miss Hawk
Miss Hawk

Miss Hawk, Richmond, VA Age and Occupation: 26, Finance Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, District Supervisor Engagement Date: March 13, 2011 Wedding Date: May 2012 Venue: The Chapel of the Sir Christopher Wren Building, 2007 Legacy Hall About Me: I’m an Arizona-born girl who has spent the majority of my life living below the Mason-Dixon line. The South has definitely earned a special place in my heart (alongside my Virginia born and bred fiance, of course!). We are planning a traditional Christian ceremony at my alma mater in historic Williamsburg, Virginia, followed by a rocking reception filled with Southern cooking and vintage/shabby chic details. When we’re not wedding planning, we enjoy spending time with our three dogs, going for runs together, watching plenty of football (or baseball depending on the season), and sampling new wine.

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