CONFESSION: We Committed a Major Engagement-Party Faux Pas

CONFESSION: We Committed a Major Engagement-Party Faux Pas

November 22nd, 2011 @ 1:19 pm by Miss Hawk
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Some people might say that having your family across the country is a “blessing in disguise,” but those people must not feel the same way I do about my parents because I think it S.U.C.K.S. Momma Hawk and I are extremely close and we talk nearly every day on the phone, but when you need your closest confidant to accompany you to venues, tastings, and general planning sessions, the phone doesn’t quite cut it. The same applies for arranging very important parties, like say your engagement party…

In the several years it has been since my parents and sister moved to California, they had never been able to make it out this way to visit. (So it was not like having them around was a regular occurrence.) I knew the exact week in August that Momma and Sis Hawk would be making the trek to Virginia, so we did the unthinkable. Mr. Hawk and I, along with Momma Hawk’s assistance, hosted our own engagement party…at our own home. (Gasp! The horror!) I know, I know. It’s frowned upon to host any get-together in your own honor, clap for yourself as you receive an award, or take a drink after someone is toasting you (I’ve paid attention, Mrs. Post), but planning our own party was what worked best for us.

CONFESSION: We Committed a Major Engagement-Party Faux Pas : wedding etiquette resoures richmond Emilyp emily+p

Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette via Emily Post

FMIL Hawk lives out in the middle of nowhere, and obviously mine lives cross-country. A friend would have gladly hosted, but with our tight schedule and my mom and sister staying with us, it just made sense. We kept it very casual and intimate, only inviting family, members of the wedding party, their SOs, and one or two select close friends. A couple of our friends very generously offered to help cook and brought sides and appetizers. Momma Hawk made her A-MA-ZING salsa, I prepared my now-famous sangria, and we served pulled pork sandwiches. (Could you imagine anything different with Mr. Hawk’s taste?!) It was really a great time and I am so glad that I could share it with my mom and sister. It really wouldn’t have felt like an engagement party without them there. (So go ahead and call the etiquette police! Guilty as charged.)

Did you ever commit a wedding -faux pas? Do you think that the old rules still apply?

Tags: etiquette, Resoures, richmond |

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9 Responses to “CONFESSION: We Committed a Major Engagement-Party Faux Pas”

Bee

Miss Mink (message) 1,522 posts, Bumble bee

We have our monogram on our wedding invitation. *gasp*

The designer who created it did such a beautiful job. It looked great. I knew it wasn’t “proper,” but I joked that it was throwing a bone to the people who would want to gossip about something.

11/22/11 @ 1:29 pm (reply)

Member

toshella (message) 644 posts, Busy bee

We hosted our own engagement party too! I felt so guilty though, I put my parents’ address as the return on the invites (even though I totally create and mailed them myself). Thankfully, when the day came everyone just had an awesome time - and we haven’t heard a single tongue wagged!

11/22/11 @ 2:17 pm (reply)

Member

oatmealpie (message) 152 posts, Blushing bee

Honey, whatever works. Your friends will be thrilled to meet your parents, and I’m sure your family is honored that you’re timing the engagement party based on their travel schedule.

We’re hosting our own stock the bar party instead of having a wedding shower. We’re even (gasp) inviting people who aren’t invited to the wedding. To each his own.

11/22/11 @ 2:46 pm (reply)

Member

joy2011 (message) 3,126 posts, Sugar bee

ugh, who cares about etiquette when it ceases to have a purpose? What’s wrong with saying, “yay! we got engaged! and we would love to celebrate that with all of our closest loved ones!”

11/22/11 @ 3:01 pm (reply)

Member

Future Army Wife (message) 1,110 posts, Bumble bee

In your situation, I think it’s fine. It’s not like y’all’s families live on the same block and said screw it. And wouldn’t it be rude to ask out-of-town guests to host such a party?

11/22/11 @ 4:33 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Fox (message) 859 posts, Busy bee

I’m such a novice at all these wedding related shindigs.. I didn’t know someone else was even supposed to host an e-party! I thought the couple threw it.. hrmph, oh well. We didn’t have one, either way!

11/22/11 @ 7:05 pm (reply)

Member

MissCT (message) 76 posts, Worker bee

I totally agree with you on how everyone thinks it’s so awesome to have your parents live far away. I usually respond with “Oh, yeah” and change the subject. I am really close with my mom also, so it makes me really sad that I am not with her while planning. It’s so awesome that you got to have your engagement party while her and your sister were there. I would probably have done the same thing.

11/22/11 @ 8:08 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Doe (message) 540 posts, Busy bee

I totally don’t say anything wrong with this at all haha. We didn’t even have an engagement party…time went so fast…we kind of were like wait, maybe we should have done that? Haha. I say whatever works best for you is the way to go!

11/22/11 @ 9:04 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Hawk (message) 598 posts, Busy bee

@Miss Mink: I’m glad I’m not the only rule-breaker!

@toshella: I’m glad to hear it! I think generally speaking being brides, we think and read much more on these type of situations and other people don’t think about it!

@oatmealpie: Yes, it was very special having my family attend.

@joy2011: I’m glad you see it that way! I was concerned I was going to get a tongue-lashing!

@Future Army Wife: I’m with you. How can I expect my mom of fmil to host when they both live far away from the rest of the bridal party?

@Miss Fox: Haha. I didn’t really think about it until I read a wedding etiquette guide…

@MissCT: I sympathize with you being far away from your mom. Good luck with the rest of your planning!

@Miss Doe: Thanks Miss Doe! We didn’t hear any chatter about it so I think most people didn’t even think about it being odd.

11/23/11 @ 7:17 am (reply)