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…and I don’t mean dinner reservations. I’ve already talked a little about my insecurities about my looks. Let’s be real here, people. I’m a female living in America, which is to say, I have body issues. I can’t go a day without being subliminally reminded that my worth lies in my looks, and I also can’t go a day without looking in a mirror and seeing, well, not a supermodel.
The fact that I look young is also a constant source of embarrassment for me. Sure, I joke about it all the time. I roll my eyes and shake my head in irritation when someone tells me I look like a 12-year-old, but to be completely honest, it’s humiliating. I don’t care if you think it’s a compliment because it means I’ll look young when I’m 50. It’s hard enough trying to navigate post-college adulthood and juggling new responsibilities with pressure to still act young and carefree. I don’t know how to act around adults because I’m not quite sure if I’m one of them or not. It certainly doesn’t help that I look like I belong in junior high. And it certainly doesn’t help my self-confidence to be constantly reminded of my childish looks by every bouncer, hairdresser, and barista I meet. Disclaimer: I’m not fishing for compliments!
Image via sodahead.com
If only I could look like this woman on my wedding day. Oh wait, foiled by Toddlers and Tiaras yet again.
To add to my hang-ups, I’m also very short, yet not exactly petite, which means most clothing just…doesn’t fit me. That’s part of the reason I like sewing so much.
Photo taken by Mr. Unicycle. He was testing the lighting.
This is me trying to look cool like all of those fashion bloggers who do cool poses in their outfit posts. On top of all my other qualms, I also just look…stupid. Kidding! Look at dat hottie!
OK, I’ll get to the point already—I was not looking forward to shopping for a wedding dress. I’m used to clothes not fitting me right, and I’ve even accepted that I’m a size large in several popular clothing stores that I patronize. So I figured the sample dresses at wedding-dress shops wouldn’t even fit me enough for me to have a good idea of what they’d look like on me. Plus, I didn’t want a gown consultant or any other customers (or even my own mother, for that matter) seeing me in various states of undress. The whole idea of wedding-dress shopping just terrified me—What should I wear? Who should I bring? What if I can’t afford anything? What if I don’t like anything? And again, what if nothing fits me?
My mom nagged me to pick a day to go dress shopping, and I kept putting it off. Everyone thought I was nuts for not wanting to try on dresses right away. We finally ended up booking a bunch of back-to-back appointments on a Saturday afternoon in July, a good four months after the proposal…
Coming up next, you’ll see some actual pics of me in wedding dresses!
I know I’m not the only one with wedding-dress reservations. Who else dreaded shopping for a dress? What caused your reservations?
You are gorgeous Unicycle! Im pretty sure wedding dress sample sizes fit no one, its the bridal industry making everyone feel fat… someone pass the muffins…
I was extremely nervous about wedding dress shopping. I’m right in between “striaght” and “plus” sizing but don’t have the rack that most plus-size dresses are designed for. Just the thought of it would get me in a panic.
I don’t have some super story of dress shopping redemption… my mom and I are making my dress. Basically, I just avoided the unpleasantness of dress shopping 
Ugh, totally feel you. Although atleast I was able to order my dress in petite…it cost $50 but that was cheaper than paying to have it hemmed! (also seriously…the whole toddlers and tiara thing…it’s hard to look away sometimes…total train wreck haha)
Umm, I just bought my dress almost 12 months into the engagement. And I was self-conscious about trying on dresses because I was concerned that the styles I loved on a size 0 model wouldn’t translate to a bridal size 14.
I totally feel you. In fact, during most of my wedding shopping experience I was freqently accosted by strangers exclaiming that I shouldnt get married until I had at least graduated high school! I am way too young!
Hi, I am 25, thanks.
I pretty much never feel like a lady, I feel like a child playing dress up. But wedding dress shopping was fun, I still looked young, but I looked more mature in a wedding dress than in daily life.
I’m with you, girlie! Looking at your photos, we are very similar in height (I’m only 5′1″) and I’m certainly not “dainty”…. I’ve got some curves….. but then on top of it, I have a baby face.
It’s so frustrating. People constantly tell me how young I look…. It’s always been “You don’t look old enough to [go to prom/be in college/be engaged/be a graduate student/be married]. Pick a comment, I’ve gotten it.
I’ve found that having a wedding ring has helped *slightly* with the age thing, though. At the very least, people can see that I’m married, so they know I have to be at least 18.
So, I’m also very short, and look very young. I feel your pain. At 50, it’s a compliment when people say you look young. In your 20’s, it just makes you feel underdeveloped. My biggest worry with wedding dress shopping was that I would end up looking like a midget. Even more so than normal due to the fact that this large dress would be swallowing me up. And at the first several stores I went to, I DID look like a midget in each dress I tried. The salespeople tell you to stand on that pedestal, then they fluff the dress around you, and you think “damn, I look pretty good”. Then you step off the pedestal on your way back to the changing room, and if you happen to glance in the mirror at that moment you realize that you look TOTALLY DIFFERENT. I was fortunate enough to end up at a dress shop where a woman could actually help me with what types of dresses did what things to my body. A mermaid dress with ruffles starting at the thigh made my legs look like they were 4 inches long. A uniform a-line actually made me look borderline graceful. A natural waist made my torso look really short, but a basque waist actually made me look normal height, and a bit slimmer! Such different results!!! So short people may have to try a little harder, but there are definitely dresses out there that will flatter your figure!
Don’t worry. I was a size 16 around my wedding and I was worried about not fitting in dresses as well. Unless you want a mermaid fitted dress, the shopping experience wasn’t that bad. I was able to get into dresses and clips helped show what it may look like. There was only one or two really upscale shops that I wasn’t able to get into a dress. I was also looking for a ball gown so that was for forgiving.
First off, I think you’re beautiful! Second, even though I don’t always see it, certain ways I dress and wear my hair make me look MUCH younger.. in Vegas last year, I had 4 people card me at 1 blackjack table because they honestly thought I was 16. I mean, with these boobs? I think not. But I digress.
I hope dress shopping wasn’t nearly as bad as you thought it might be.. I can’t wait to see what you tried on!
At least I’m not the only one! 
I’m glad you wrote about this. There is so much pressure around finding the perfect dress and looking perfect in it, but luckily there really are dresses made to flatter every body type (not just the waif-thin models from bridal magazines!).
I really struggled with this because I too look really young too- EVERY TIME i have to use my ID people are like 86? really? double take at the picture and back at me…yes i’m that old.
i really wanted to find a dress that made me look more “adult” whatever that is! haha. not quite sure if i succeeded - but i felt beautiful that day! and you will too!
I’ve been turned down for alcohol with my real, legal, over 21 ID, if that tells you anything.
I have the opposite problem, though - I’m already 5′7 and with heels on, I’m terrified of looking like some giant, white overstuffed marshmallow amazon at my own wedding. My mom and grandmother are omgsoexcited to start dress shopping, and I’m starting to wonder if it would be easier to elope…
I get so stressed out when I look at dresses online. The store isn’t quite as bad, because seeing myself in them is awesome. But I am so against the insanely expensive (even for the ‘cheap’ dresses!) price tags. I’m wearing it one day…I do not want to pay more than a couple hundred for it. So that’s where my wedding-dress hating comes from; not so much my body issues.
On the young looks front - I took my fiance (who at the time was only 20) to see Scream 4. I didn’t have my ID to prove that I was in fact over 17 and they almost didn’t let me in. I was 25 at the time.
In addition to being beautiful, I have to say that your style is pretty amazing, I’m a total wannabe when it comes to fashion!
Thank you for this post. I absolutely feel your pain. I am 5 feet tall and I have a baby face. People always think I’m 15 or 16 and it really does affect the way you feel about yourself. I also happen to work at a college, so all the time people come in and ask me how I like classes. I’m like hello this is my career; I have a master’s degree! I joke with my FI that I’m glad I have a ring on my finger now, because maybe people will think I’m older.
I have not tried on dresses yet (end of December), but I am nervous about it as well. I am so short and I have a barely A chest, so I want to wear a sheath dress or a very slim A-line, so I don’t drown in the dress. Problem is I wouldn’t call myself petite in the waist. I have a nice little tummy and some love handles and I’m afraid all the dresses I like will stick to this spots. I guess we will see…
I don’t know if you can do any research in your area, but I think a senior saleswoman who is good at her job can turn your terror into fun.
I’m personally terrified of going shopping because I’m afraid of getting someone who can’t judge how I want to be treated, and I’ll want to punch her… Pandering and telling me that things I don’t like are good….
I’m getting my dress made, not just because of salespeople, but because my waist to bust ratio is not standard.
@Annabelle86: and @tinylittlebird: and @szaerpoor: what is UP with that?? People have unrealistic expectations of what people look like at each age!
Uni, you are adorable! I know I’ve already seen the next post, but just wanted you to know that.
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Miss Unicycle, Chicago, IL Age and Occupation: 23, Editor for a Web Publishing Company Fiance's Age and Occupation: 23, MD/PhD Student Engagement Date: March 26, 2011 Wedding Date: June 2012 Venue: Bridges of Poplar Creek About Me: I’m a writer by trade who likes analyzing pop culture, making fun of celebrities, and laughing until I cry. I’m the queen of half-assed crafts, and there’s nothing I won’t try to DIY. You can usually find me reading blogs on my laptop in front of a good Lifetime movie, wine in hand. I’m planning a polka-dotted summertime wedding to my physics geek college sweetheart, and when I’m not making stupid puns I’m freaking out about my wedding timeline.
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