Did you ever buy wedding magazines before you were engaged? Once in a while, I bought them on business trips, devoured them, and then got rid of them before coming home. I don’t know why I felt like I wasn’t allowed to look at them if I didn’t have a ring on my left hand. The one time I brought a particularly wonderful issue of Martha Stewart Weddings home from a trip, I stashed it in a hiding place. I forgot about said hiding place until Mr. Mink was helping me flip my mattress. Oops. He had a good laugh about my illicit magazine.
Aside from looking at magazines, my favorite source for wedding gown inspiration when I started my dress search was an unconventional one: New York Magazine.
Screen shot of Amsale’s Spring 2010 runway show / Image from nymag.com
You see, while plenty of wedding websites have gown search engines, few group gowns by collection while also having large images of dresses from multiple angles.
Sure, the wedding websites have thousands of pictures, but after using one of the “grande dame” of wedding websites, I wasn’t impressed with the results. Their catalog of images was at least one season out of date for most major designers, the images were tiny, and the information provided was limited.
New York Magazine seems to catalog every garment that is sent down the runway at New York Fashion Week and Bridal Market. I spent days browsing their galleries. After a while, I realized that there was an entire portion of the wedding gown market that I wasn’t seeing (the non-designer gowns), but there was so much variety in the designer collections, that I was okay with that. I decided that if I couldn’t afford to buy a designer gown, I would buy a sample or a second hand dress.
Rivini Spring 2012 show / From Completely Unveiled
I didn’t tell anyone about this decision. Though I know plenty of people who shop in vintage and secondhand stores for their regular clothing, there seems to be a stigma attached to doing so for a wedding gown (unless it’s a family gown). Buying a preowned or sample gown seemed to make so much sense. I might be able to find a designer gown for the same price as a non-designer one. What’s more, I wouldn’t be the catalyst for the production of an entirely new garment and the part of me that is concerned about consumption and being green thought that was a good thing.
How do you feel about “preowned” dresses? Would you wear a secondhand dress? Do you think buying “preowned” is something to hide?
Heck yeah I would buy a pre-owned dress in a heartbeat! You can get a great deal on a designer gown that either was an unworn sample or worn by a bride for only a few hours! I think its great!
I love the idea! I was totally going to do it before I found my dress pattern/seamstress.
I would have loved to have bought a used gown, but I’m so tall, I can only buy samples and then only from certain designers. And I want to try a gown on before I buy it. The ones I found online that I liked, I couldn’t find in a store. 
There are so many amazing dresses on preownedweddingdresses.com though. Sigh. There’s no stigma to me in buying a used dress!
I do think we’ve attached a hefty amount of stigma to wedding attire in terms of the ‘one special dress.’ If you put it in any other context, people would freak out.
Going for a used gown totally makes sense – you get a dress you want for a fraction of the price, and the dress gets a second use. I know I’ll probably give my dress away soon (after I wear it a few more times), just to make sure it’s not lost in my closet.
I bought mine in a consignment shop for only $240. It’s Allure 8373, and she’s everything I wanted in a gown.
I have gotten some odd looks and “really?!”when I tell people where I bought her, but at it’s normal price of $900+, I am so glad I got it at a great price!
It has never been worn either- just tried on and bought by a bride who changed her mind.
@misschickpea: Whew! I wasn’t sure what the reaction would be here. Sometimes on the boards, I feel like it is more acceptable to order a replica than to get a pre-owned gown. If you have a modest budget, people automatically push the idea of a replica instead of the pre-owned or sample sites.
@Miss Aardvark: Good to know I’m not the only one!
I bought a sample dress and got the BEST deal on it! It was a year old gown that they had put in the back, when I told them that I love the idea of a long train they brought it out for me! Best part it was 80% off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That helped my budget tremendously!!!! 
I started buying wedding magazines and hiding them in the middle of stacks of regular magazines soon after I met my husband, lol.
I would agree with you that secondhand gowns, or vintage, isn’t discussed enough. When I started planning our wedding, I had a slim budget and wanted the focus to be photography and food. I figured (correctly) that if I love the dress and it fits, what does it matter about the history? I ended up finding a beautiful dress on craigslist that needed zero alterations (amazing since I’m both petite and rather well-endowed), and you know what? It was kind of my dream dress, and new would have been completely outside my budget. By about four times the cost. It was already bustled, cleaned – I was beyond pleased! Enough gushing, though.
Be very guarded about who you tell, because this was the single biggest point of contention between my mother and I. She was not with me when I made the purchase (like I’m going to take my mom to a random craigslist meet-up?), and she took issue with the whole used thing. We always shopped thrift, but for her the wedding is about starting a new life, and I guess the symbolism of beginning in a new gown really irked her? She still is upset and insists I “deserved” new. To me, it wasn’t about deserving anything, it was about priorities within my budget and what made me happy.
So in short, I say go for it! Just, be careful who you tell, and if your mom has dreams of living her own “Say Yes To the Dress” shopping excursion with you, shop with her first, and just fail to find something you like 
Good luck!
@vermontia: I’m 5’7″ and I felt like it was hard to find dresses that would allow me to wear heels on the preowned sites! I can’t imagine how slim the choices would be for someone who was truly tall!
@Jessica: I wonder if this is an American thing? I know we have brides in other countries…I wonder what they think about that importance we place on buying THE ONE.
I also hope to pass my dress along.
@teacherandageek: I try to tell people that many of the dresses on the preowned sites are new! I’ve seen plenty of dresses with tags attached being sold by women who just changed their minds.
I’m so glad it worked out for you!
I think it’s a genius idea – I mean, why not?! You get the most bang for your buck.. and generally, women want to keep their gown as pristine as possible, regardless of whether they will keep or sell it after the wedding, so you know you’ll still get a gorgeous gown!
@Kristen: Amazing! Congratulations! 80% off…that’s fantastic!
@poelette13: Oh my gosh, what a great story! Having the bustle already there and not needing alternations? Another benefit to buying preowned!
I don’t think there should be a stigma attached to buying preowned dresses at all. I didn’t go the secondhand route, but I considered it. If I hadn’t found a dress in my budget as easily, I would have most likely pursued this option more.
I laughed when you said you felt like you were not allowed to look at bridal magazines unless you had a ring. I felt the same way! When I would go past them in the grocery store I could feel them glaring at me and taunting me with ‘you cant buy us! you cant buy us!” After I got engaged, I bought them all!
I bought a new dress, but if I was not able to, I would do pre-owened. If I found a designer dress that I was in love with and could not do without, I’d get preowned in a heartbeat.
@Miss Fox: Exactly. Someone who destroys her dress probably won’t try to sell it.
I actually bought my dress (David’s Bridal T9612) pre-owned on Recycled Bride. It saved me at least $300, which was a good deal to me. I almost bought the dress on eBay, but somebody else won it out from under me! I’m planning on trying to sell the dress, or simply give it away after the wedding, so I really didn’t care if it was new or not.
@Miss Hawk: Agreed. For some reason, I feel there is more of a stigma on preowned than samples, though.
@soyjoy222: I remember thinking the cashier was looking at my left hand when I bought one on business trips. It’s so silly of me!
Yet, a line for Growing Pains (am I dating myself here) stuck with me for years. When Mike and Julie were going to get married, Julie said something like “I haven’t subscribed to Brides Magazine since I was 16 years old for nothing!” and I remember being shocked that a teenager would subscribe to a bridal mag.
I guess there are people who don’t feel any hesitation about buying them!
I think it can be an excellent option. I bought my wedding gown secondhand. The first owner canceled her wedding, so it’s never been worn. She purchased it at Saks in NYC for over $7,500 and I bought it from her for $500 + shipping. It’s a Reem Acra. The workmanship is outstanding. I never thought I’d have a designer gown – it wasn’t even something I had considered, but by buying secondhand it made it possible.
I don’t think it’s something to hide. I’ve told friends and family. In my family frugal is king.
@Chery_L: That’s amazing, Cheryl! A Reem Acra for $500! Whoo Hoo!
I think it’s a great idea! I don’t think I could keep it a secret though, I brag about shopping steals.
Your illicit magazine – too funny! I bet you’re not alone with the stashes under your bed though.
Mrs. Mink, Charlottesville, Virginia Age and Occupation: 34, College Administrator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 40, Craft Beer Consultant Engagement Date: November 26, 2010 Wedding Date: June 2012 Venue: Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards About Me: I left a pre-war brownstone in Boston six years ago to live in a funky, Southern city where Thomas Jefferson, Dave Matthews, and urban chicken keepers enjoy equal social standing. I still love my Patriots and Red Sox, but have fallen in love with Virginia. I work in education and specialize in integrating technology into my work to improve the student experience. I’m a diehard blogger, animal lover, jamband follower, and DIYer. I paint to relax and have transferred by energy from home projects to wedding projects in recent months. When Mr. Mink and I started talking about marriage, we knew our wedding would be outdoors, that my golden retriever would be part of the day, and that the music would be fantastic. We’ve taken a few risks during our planning process and we’ve been enjoying the process immensely!
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