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Miss Unicycle, Chicago, IL Age and Occupation: 23, Editor for a Web Publishing Company Fiance's Age and Occupation: 23, MD/PhD Student Engagement Date: March 26, 2011 Wedding Date: June 2012 Venue: Bridges of Poplar Creek About Me: I’m a writer by trade who likes analyzing pop culture, making fun of celebrities, and laughing until I cry. I’m the queen of half-assed crafts, and there’s nothing I won’t try to DIY. You can usually find me reading blogs on my laptop in front of a good Lifetime movie, wine in hand. I’m planning a polka-dotted summertime wedding to my physics geek college sweetheart, and when I’m not making stupid puns I’m freaking out about my wedding timeline.
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Put Your Dukes/Paws Up

December 2nd, 2011 @ 12:58 pm by Miss Unicycle

Before I was engaged, I heard time and time again that brides and grooms get in tons of arguments during wedding planning. Apparently you’re supposed to plan “wedding free” date nights where you’re not allowed to mention the wedding (uh, not even once…?) and give your guy a free pass to not give a damn about wedding planning because, after all, it’s your day. It’s your special day.

Put Your Dukes/Paws Up :  wedding chicago decor relationships Special01 special01

Image via AedrielOriginals on Etsy

I think I need this so I can remind people what friggin’ day it friggin’ is.

I figured Mr. Unicycle and I would end up fighting about this eventually, since we fight about pretty much everything, but I really couldn’t visualize what these fights would sound like. How could people argue about wonderful things like poufy dresses and cake flavors? Would he put up his dukes when I suggested something outlandish like lavender-flavored cake? Would I slap him around when he insisted on red velvet?

Put Your Dukes/Paws Up :  wedding chicago decor relationships Trash T Trash-t

Image via Hanssie Trainor Photography

I get that men generally don’t care about weddings, at least not the petty details like what kind of flowers to use in the centerpieces or whether to wear a veil or a fascinator. And I admit that I do love pretty much everything about weddings (duh, I’m blogging on Weddingbee). I even understand that with Mr. Unicycle being in his second year of med school, he really isn’t available to help me plan, whether he wants to or not. So really I should just plan this wedding by my lonesome and smile the whole time, right?

Put Your Dukes/Paws Up :  wedding chicago decor relationships Maniaca maniaca

Personal photo

I effing love weddings. So much.

Uh, except there are a ton of things that I need Mr. Unicycle’s help with. I mean literally: I need his help tracking down his friends’ addresses, building PVC frames for our faux-to-booth backdrop, booking vendors, deciding on invitation wording…the list could go on and on. I feel the need to consult with him before I spend a massive amount of money, too, not because I need his permission, but I guess because I need someone to assure me that I’m not being ridiculous and impulsive. (I almost just bought a pair of wedding shoes for $100 on a whim, even though I have barely even started looking. Somebody stop me.)

Put Your Dukes/Paws Up :  wedding chicago decor relationships Kate Sp01 kate-sp01

Image via Zappos

These aren’t them. These are even better, even more expensive shoes.

And then there’s this little thing called the bane of my existence—I mean, the “to do” timeline. I made a list of tasks that need to be accomplished before the wedding day and assigned each of them arbitrarily to a different month. Every month passes with a few tasks left undone, and it drives me nuts. Like, actually freaking nuts.

Put Your Dukes/Paws Up :  wedding chicago decor relationships Me me

Personal pic

Really freaking nuts.

So nuts, in fact, that I’ve started yelling at Mr. Unicycle about all the things he hasn’t done yet, even though he doesn’t even know what I’m talking about half the time. (You should have been there for the “What the hell are Moo cards?!” conversation.)

Put Your Dukes/Paws Up :  wedding chicago decor relationships Moocar moo+car

Image via daily pleasure’s Flickr stream

This is what Moo cards are.

So yes, Mr. Unicycle and I have been fighting about the wedding, which means we’re normal. We’re not boxing each other over cake flavors yet but, then again, we haven’t met with the caterer yet either. So I suppose it’s time to implement a wedding-free day every week, eh? How will I ever stop thinking about my G.D. timeline for an entire day?

Do you think weddings usually cause a lot of fights? Am I being a Bridezeeella or just neurotic?

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12 Responses to “Put Your Dukes/Paws Up”

1.
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Mrs. Parasol (message)  2,142 posts, Buzzing bee

Mr. P and I definitely didn’t fight too much about the nuts and bolts of our wedding (i.e. what type of flowers to use, whether or not to have bunting or lanterns, etc.). But wedding planning could be pretty stressful at times, and we tend to go at each other more when we’re stressed out and exhausted. I remember one bad fight where I basically bit his head off because he failed to grasp how horrible it would be if you could still see my tan lines on our wedding day. Yeah, not my finest moment. But keep talking, take time for yourselves, and make room in your life for non-wedding things (because eventually, we all get sick of it), and you both will be fine. :)

 
2.
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Mrs. Funnel Cake (message)  690 posts, Busy bee

Haha… ahhh yeah we had a couple fights about stuff. In general, Mr. FC was realllly helpful about caring/doing wedding stuff. Like he picked out our colours and felt guilty he didn’t help enough with invites and did all this other crap with me. But the stress also got to Mr. FC! He was like “Dammmn I feel like I come home to work and there is no fun right now” (on getting addresses from his friends and making an excel list). It just stressed him out SO much. At least Mr. U seems a little more chill about it! But yeah… fights happen… like they do in marriage too. :) We managed to get in a couple tiffs on the honeymoon too. ;)

 
3.
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Miss Mole (message)  988 posts, Busy bee

We haven’t fought with each other about the wedding, but there have definitely been some moments of tension due to family’s reactions to wedding planning. It is really nice to put aside time when you don’t talk about it, even if it’s just you making an internal decision not to.

 
4.
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Mrs. Pony (message)  4,175 posts, Honey bee

I think weddings cause tons of fights–with your soon-to-be husband, your family, sometimes your friends; it’s such an emotionally charged event in which you spend a shit ton of money, there’s bound to be disagreements along the way. You’re totally normal :)

 
5.
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Future Army Wife (message)  1,110 posts, Bumble bee

I feel your pain. Fiance has been deployed, so many of our wedding decisions have been me picking out a few options and him giving his opinion whenever we get to talk. It has sucked because I would rather talk about other things than the wedding, but it has to get done. But he def wants to be involved with big decisions (food, cake, money).

 
6.
icetea
Member
icetea (message)  96 posts, Worker bee

lol…I tried to to implement a “I won’t talk about the wedding for one night” and I made it about 10 minutes. Luckily and not we have a ton going on with me being in grad school so I keep busy with school and just whine about all the time that could have been spent enjoying the wedding planning. We haven’t been fighting but he def spaces out. Once he realizes that my head is going to start spinning if I don’t nail down some detail, he stops what he’s doing and we focus on one very specific task item. As soon as it’s figured out my mind has already moved on to the next emergency but he can only take about one a day haha. I kid too, we try to do something fun when we can.

 
7.
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Guest
Aedriel

Thanks so much for featuring our ‘it’s your special day’ plate! Your idea is genius. I honestly had no idea couples fight so much before a wedding. I say- keep it simple AND use the plate of course. ;)

 
8.
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Guest
Lexy

Yeah… we’ve had some fights. We’ve also some Lexy being really emotional and yelling for no reason and Mr. L being pretty much a statue.

He’s been SO GREAT about helping. I work 4-10s an hour away so I can’t do ANYTHING during the day. He met with the venue the first time and the caterer, he picked up and sent out the invitations. He’s even tried valiantly to help me with crafts.

I also made it super clear when we set a date that was not even 4 months from our engagement that he would be helping me so I don’t go crazy. Until last week I was doing wedding planning and planning a 300-person charity gala. I was crazy. I argued with our dog.

 
9.
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Miss Dalmatian (message)  480 posts, Helper bee

I am so on the same page! We tend to passionately discuss thing :p I always end up saying, “I don’t want to fight anymore!”, to which Mr. D says, “We’re not fighting!”. Haha

 
10.
TinyTina
Member
TinyTina (message)  3,312 posts, Sugar bee

Ohhhh we’ve had some fights. The worst one yet was when he caught me on a bad day (yes I was probably PMS’ing) and he made me cry because he kept teasing me that he was going to smash me with the cake. Yikes.

@Miss Dalmatian: Haha that’s funny! My FI is always like, “Stop yelling at me!” and I give him a confused look. I didn’t think I was yelling at him… I’m just “passionate” when I talk hahaha.

 
11.
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Miss Unicycle (message)  293 posts, Helper bee

@Mrs. Parasol: lol! well, that’s important though!!

@Future Army Wife: exactly! Mr. Uni’s always like “can’t we talk about something else for a change” but we don’t talk that often, so we kind of have to!

@Lexy: hahaha I’ve never argued with my dog, but I have had deep intellectual conversations with her. Best listeners ever….

@TinyTina: aww hahah once when I was PMSing i cried b/c I thought Mr. Unicycle was making fun of my crafts. Yeah, stupid.

 
12.
SteidaBega
Member
SteidaBega (message)  30 posts, Newbee

lol, I love this post. My better half and I (well, mostly I) have been planning wedding crap for 3 months. Every. Freaking. Day I ask him SOMETHING in regards to our wedding. “This color blue, or this slightly darker shade of blue??” After having numerous arguments over it appearing that he doesn’t giving a crap about OUR wedding (OUR WEDDING, YA’LL!!) he flat out said to me: You know what I’m looking forward to? Being married. You being my wife. I really don’t care about any of the petty stuff leading up to that point.

While at first I was a little disappointed to learn that he isn’t as obsessed with the finer wedding details, like picking the PERFECT favor that embodies US, I now have a greater appreciation for what our wedding means to him. I can accept that he just isn’t as ‘into’ planning stuff than I am. That doesn’t mean he isn’t appreciative for what I am doing to make our day special - it just means that he doesn’t personally care about all the little thangs.

 

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Miss Unicycle
Miss Unicycle

Miss Unicycle, Chicago, IL Age and Occupation: 23, Editor for a Web Publishing Company Fiance's Age and Occupation: 23, MD/PhD Student Engagement Date: March 26, 2011 Wedding Date: June 2012 Venue: Bridges of Poplar Creek About Me: I’m a writer by trade who likes analyzing pop culture, making fun of celebrities, and laughing until I cry. I’m the queen of half-assed crafts, and there’s nothing I won’t try to DIY. You can usually find me reading blogs on my laptop in front of a good Lifetime movie, wine in hand. I’m planning a polka-dotted summertime wedding to my physics geek college sweetheart, and when I’m not making stupid puns I’m freaking out about my wedding timeline.

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