I look back at the first time I was a bridesmaid fondly. However, I cringe when I think about how much money I spent. I was just a graduate student, but spent as if I were comfortably installed in a lucrative career. (I was always headed toward a job in academia, so that was especially silly of me.)
I wasn’t really convinced that I would wear any of the bridesmaids’ dresses I’ve bought again. I held on to a couple, but they sat in my closet for years. I finally donated them to the Cinderella Project a few years ago.
When I started to think about my bridesmaids, I wondered whether they might have the cost of the role in mind. I came across this graphic from Mint a while back and posted it in the Weddingbee forums, but it’s so comprehensive that it’s worth posting again.
Check out the original on Mint.com’s blog.
These days, Mint says bridesmaids are spending around $1,700 to be part of a bridal party. I don’t think I’ve spent that much myself, but I imagine there are others out there who have.
I expect my ’maids to spend much, much less than what’s listed above. Here’s the plan:
1. No engagement party, bridal showers, or bachelorette party.
We’ve been engaged for a year at this point, so it’s a little late for that. Showers are generally about gifts, and because we are a little older we don’t really need help outfitting a home. What’s more, my mother always taught me to save up to buy top quality items once, instead of having to replace things multiple times. As a result, I don’t feel as though I need to upgrade any of my appliances or kitchen gadgets. Lastly, I’m not really the bachelorette-party type. I love a good party, but I’m not much of a bar hopper.
2. The bridesmaids pick the dresses.
I hope that by selecting a color and letting the bridesmaids pick their dress styles, they’ll actually wear their dresses again. Every bride says it, but it almost never happens and I think that’s because the dress style is mandated.
Dresses from J.Crew (Discontinued)
3. The dresses will be from J.Crew.
J.Crew’s special-occasion dresses usually retail for $250, but they seem to be on sale constantly. I think I get at least one email each week offering 20% off, and the sale section of their site always has dresses for as low as $50. I hope alterations won’t be necessary. Can someone explain why the bridesmaids’ dresses ordered for me after having my measurements taken never fit while I can buy a dress off the rack at J.Crew and be just fine?
J.Crew bridesmaids / From Style Me Pretty / Floral Design by Loluma / Photography by Corbin Gurkin Photography
4. No restrictions on shoes, hair, or makeup.
I want my girls to wear what’s comfortable. I momentarily thought of buying them all the same shoes. Shoes are so personal, though. I decided to pick a neutral color and let them wear whatever they’d like. The best case scenario would have them wearing something that’s already in their closets!
Now, I have questions. Lots of questions. Feel free to answer one or all. I’d really love to get some different opinions on being a bridesmaid.
What do you think is an acceptable cost for being a bridesmaid?
What’s the most expensive bridesmaids’ dress you’ve worn? Did you wear it again?
Would you rather get an inexpensive bridesmaids’ dress that you would never wear again or a more expensive dress that you really would wear again?
What do you think is an acceptable cost for being a bridesmaid?
I paid approx. $600 to be in a friends wedding (conservative estimate) and that didn’t involve travelling at all. I am trying to keep my girls costs below the. $200-250 mark all up, as I have told them all I want is them to have a royal blue dress, if they want the hair make up etc I will book it for them but they don’t have to. If they only do dress it’ll be about $100 each.
What’s the most expensive bridesmaids’ dress you’ve worn? Did you wear it again? I paid $380 for my BM dress, I actually have worn it again to a friend’s work ball but no it is not something that I could really wear elsewhere…
Would you rather get an inexpensive bridesmaids’ dress that you would never wear again or a more expensive dress that you really would wear again? I’d prefer inexpensive that I can wear again, expensive doesn’t equal more wearable, and sometimes the inexpensive dresses are easier to “dress down” or alter to make more wearable – one of my girls is already talking about chopping her dress off to knee length after the wedding 
A lady after my own heart. I haven’t spent a lot for being a Bridesmaid before. I once had a $250 dress from JCrew but it went on sale at one of NYC’s sample sales and I got it for $60. A $20 alteration (it wasn’t my size but I wasn’t going to pass that up!) and we were good to go. I’ve resold it on the bee actually. For my wedding, I did JCrew sales online. I went line by line, found something in my colors, sent the BM’s and they got their dresses for $60 plus free s/h. One even sold her dress after the wedding. I didn’t care about hair, make-up etc. They wore silver shoes. I think they didn’t spend a lot. I can’t imagine spending $1700!!!
My mom and aunt are making my girls’ dresses- should only be about $50 per person. And I have a friend who is doing all our hair for $25 each. As for shoes and jewelry…doesn’t really matter to me what they do! I’m probably going to gift them all a piece of jewelry.
I’m all for keeping it cheap for them!
I’m doing just about the same thing…except for the bachelorette part. I really just wanted an excuse for a trip with my girls lol (which I’ve never had) and I’m paying for myself. The girls get to pick all of their own stuff with the only mandate being that they feel pretty in it
@ShellVee: $380! That’s about what my most expensive one cost…and I never wore it again. 
@bRooklynRocks: Just wait until you see what we did. You’ll freak!
@MaggieL: I’m with you…I didn’t even realize brides were dictating shoes these days until I saw a beautiful picture of a wedding where the bridesmaids looked exactly alike, from head to toe. Thankfully, no bride has ever told me what shoes or hair style I had to wear.
Good questions! I’m not sure what an acceptable cost is – but the more inexpensive, the better.
The most expensive dress I’ve had to buy was around $300 all said and done, and is currently in a garbage bag waiting to be taken to the Sally Anne. It didn’t even fit me after alterations and is a super shiny taffeta concoction that I really, really would never wear again.
As for your last question – I don’t think I have worn a fancy dress in the past four years aside from bridesmaid dresses, so I would rather have the cheap dress I won’t wear again because I honestly probably wouldn’t even wear the nice, expensive one again! My dress for my sister’s wedding was super cheap and actually my style and I’ve NEVER worn it again even though I’d love to.
@Psingo: One of my ‘maids wanted to do something, but I work crazy hours between now and the month before the wedding. Going somewhere would just be stressful. I’m aiming for no stress!
@moosey: There’s a simple solution: host a party where your girlfriends wear bridesmaid dresses! It’s like an 80s party, but no one has to go out to buy anything.
@moosey: Ah…mine all wound up in garbage bags on the way to Goodwill as well!
I think that’s a great plan Miss Mink! I picked the color too and allowed my bridesmaid to pick a dress from anywhere, and they were all thankful for that. One found a clearance dress for $40 and she looked amazing. I found that letting the bridesmaids feel comfortable and look their best, makes for a happy day. You sound like a very thoughtful bride!
@leebaby711: Aw, thanks! I’m glad it worked out for your girls!
I have been a bridesmaid twice, once in ’94 for my mom’s wedding to my stepdad. My dress was pretty atrocious, but I actually wore to church for Easter a year later.
The second time I don’t remember how much the dress was, I feel like it was about $150, but I had to travel across the country to the bride’s hometown so my total costs were probably pretty close to $1,000 (with a free hotel using my dad’s hotel points) and I was unemployed at the time
However, that dress was a slightly fancy LBD that I had taken up and wear fairly frequently now.
Oh, also, I love the J-Crew dresses! I only have one bridesmaid so I told her to wear whatever she wants but we email each other dresses all the time so I sent her a couple of J-Crew ones that I like, just for fun. She’ll probably go Target though.
@Lexy: Oh my gosh, you are an ANGEL for going all that way while you were unemployed. You get Weddingbee karma for that!
I’ve been a bridesmaid three times, with three different dresses, and have never worn any of them again. Two of them were long and formal, and one is short, but still screams “bridesmaid” to me, so it too will not be re-worn. But, I only had to pay for my dress each time (I think? I can’t remember what all I had to pay for in the first one, it was too long ago).
My best friends wedding (wedding #2) she bought my dress for me, we had our makeup done at the Clinique counter and I bought like a tube of lipgloss or something, and her neighbor was a hairdresser, so free hair do! Very inexpensive for me!
My sisters commitment ceremony, I bought the dress from overstock and did my own hair/makeup.
Overall I think $300 or less is what I’ve paid.
I’d rather get a little more expensive dress that I would wear lots, but having said that I don’t normally buy dresses for myself that are over $100 (and rarely even that much). I would, of course, be willing to pay a little more for a bridesmaid dress, but I really think most of the bridesmaids dresses I’ve seen are pretty outrageously priced at >$250. I don’t really understand why they cost so much more either…they are probably slightly better made than if you were shopping at the mall, but at the same time stores like Ann Taylor and J.Crew sell pretty high quality clothing. I think your J.Crew pick is a smart choice, I’d be happy doing that if I was one of your bridesmaids.
@lisaelanna: I actually think the bridesmaid dresses I’ve gotten from bridal salons have been pretty poorly made (including the $360 one). The best made one I’ve had was handmade by the bride’s sister…a professor of textiles at a major university. That dress was great…never wore it again because it was backless, but it was a beautifully made dress.
Chances are I won’t wear it again either way. Even if I totally <3 it, I personally don’t like wearing a special occasssion dress twice after being snapped wearing it in a million pictures. I’m sure many people will think that is snobbish, but that is just how I am. I tried to keep the cost of my bridesmaids dress under $100.00.
@knvprincess143: Are you worried about what people will think if they see you in the same dress twice? Unless the wedding is in the social section of the paper (and so many papers have done away with them), only the immediate guests of the wedding would see you in the dress, right?
Mrs. Mink, Charlottesville, Virginia Age and Occupation: 34, College Administrator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 40, Craft Beer Consultant Engagement Date: November 26, 2010 Wedding Date: June 2012 Venue: Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards About Me: I left a pre-war brownstone in Boston six years ago to live in a funky, Southern city where Thomas Jefferson, Dave Matthews, and urban chicken keepers enjoy equal social standing. I still love my Patriots and Red Sox, but have fallen in love with Virginia. I work in education and specialize in integrating technology into my work to improve the student experience. I’m a diehard blogger, animal lover, jamband follower, and DIYer. I paint to relax and have transferred by energy from home projects to wedding projects in recent months. When Mr. Mink and I started talking about marriage, we knew our wedding would be outdoors, that my golden retriever would be part of the day, and that the music would be fantastic. We’ve taken a few risks during our planning process and we’ve been enjoying the process immensely!
Latest Gallery Pics