Weddingbee Blog

I left you guys hanging in absolutely agonizing suspense after my last dress post. My apologies. Feel free to move off the edge of your seats because the trick I had up my sleeve is about to be revealed! (How did you get so lucky?) But first…

No, I’m serious, Mr. Unicycle. Get. the. hell. out. I’m about the reveal The Dress.

OK, so when we last left off, I’d written off brick-and-mortar wedding-dress shops, I’d decided to avoid the whole Chinese knockoff thing, and I’d dabbled in a little Mormon-wedding-dress internet stalking. I was left with only one choice: Etsy.

Against my better judgment, I ended up contacting the dressmaker that Mrs. Pretzel had used for her wedding dress, Porshes Place. Despite Mrs. Pretzel’s less than perfect experience, I decided to go for it anyway. What did I have to lose? I didn’t like any other dress I saw elsewhere, and judging from Mrs. Pretzel’s engagement-pics dress and her wedding dress, plus all the other pictures in Porshes Place’s shop, I thought there was a good chance that I’d end up liking what she made me. I sent her a doctored-up version of the Stephanie James dress I was stalking, edited artistically in MS Paint.

Images via Stephanie James Couture / Edited by me

The original is on the right.

I think I literally snipped the shoulders and cleavage off another dress I found online and then spray painted some cap sleeves on her. Classy. I also sent this pic to her and asked her to do a cross between these sleeves and the spray painted ones:

Image via Shabby Apple

So basically the only thing I was keeping from my original soul-mate dress was the poufy skirt. What can I say? I’m fickle. After I placed my order and sent my measurements and money, I just waited. And it didn’t take very long. I received my dress in the mail about a month and a half after I ordered it. That girl is a quick sewer! (Or do you prefer “sewist”?)

Once I was notified that the dress had been shipped, I stalked the package online with the tracking code for two days, waiting in agony for the dress to arrive. I was so worried it would be hideous or ill-fitting or just not what I wanted—not because I expected the dressmaker to be terrible, but because it is just such a gamble to buy your wedding dress online without ever meeting the person making it. And I really had no clue what it would look like, especially after telling her to make the sleeves a cross between two different things. After waiting impatiently for two days, the package arrived.

Can you feel the suspense building??

I yanked it from the box, slipped into it, zipped up the back, and checked my fine ass out in the mirror. And…I loved it! Before I show you pics, a few disclaimers:

1. Mr. Unicycle: seriously GTFO.
2. I haven’t bought a crinoline for it yet, so it looks a little like a deflated balloon right now. Believe me, it will look even better with a little more pouf.
3. It should also be ironed.
4. It needs to be taken in because I measured myself and clearly don’t know how to do it. And it should also be hemmed because I’m a shawty.
5. All right…here it is…drumroll please…

Attempting to show what it would look like post-alterations. Failing at that.

Attempting to show what it would look like with a crinoline. Also failing at that.

Hawt butt shot. Ow ow.

I saved the best for last—IT HAS FRIGGIN POCKETS. So now I can store all kinds of objects on my wedding day. Lipstick, a hankie, pepper spray, a mouse…the possibilities are endless.

In short: I would recommend Porshes Place to anyone who wants a vintage-inspired, custom dress on the cheap. I only paid $400 bucks for this bad boy! I would also agree with Mrs. Pretzel and encourage you to get your crinoline elsewhere and set aside money for alterations. To all the people who thought I was nuts ordering a wedding dress online (which is to say, everyone I told about it): I TOLD YOU SO.

Would you ever take such a big gamble on your wedding dress? Has anyone else gone the custom route?