Who Notices the Little Details?

Early on in our planning process, I told myself that some of the little details about our wedding would only be noticed by me and a handful of others. I was convinced that most people just see “wedding” at a wedding and don’t really notice the details. I was okay with that. It also gave me freedom to ignore a few things that I could see myself making really complicated. Mr. Mink actually changed my mind about one of those things a few weeks ago.

Last month, we went to the wedding of a colleague at a local vineyard. It was a beautiful day. It was my first time attending a wedding since starting to plan my own, which is an interesting experience. On our way home that night, Mr. Mink commented on the napkins. He thought it was nice that the bride brought in napkins in one of the wedding colors. We had been planning on using the very nice, standard linens at our venue, but Mr. Mink suggested we look into getting napkins in one of our colors. That seemed simple enough.

This is where things get kind of interesting.

Remember the dresses I picked out for my bridesmaids? J. Crew discontinued the color and fabric combination I wanted before I could track down a dress for one of my bridesmaids. Before I bought her dress on ebay, I prowled multiple websites for “Matisse Blue” J. Crew dress listings and I found a listing on Craigslist for napkins. The seller had bought napkins specifically to match her bridesmaids’ dresses, which were the same color as mine. There was no way things could be this easy. I emailed the seller…and never heard back.

But that seller had named the company that made the napkins, so I went to their website and ordered samples that might match.


Napkin color swatches / Photo by Miss Mink

Amazingly, one of the samples was almost a perfect match. I was a little shocked. I didn’t think finding these would be so easy.


A perfect match! / Photo by Miss Mink

I’ve been on the verge of hitting the “confirm” button on an order from the linen company’s website a few times. I can’t decide if this is a good purchase. I was convinced that people didn’t notice little details like napkins in your colors, but Mr. Mink noticed those napkins at the wedding we went to last month. This isn’t a huge purchase, but I’m wondering if it’s worth it.


Standard table settings at our venue / Photo by Miss Mink

What do you think? Will adding a little color to the tables, beyond the flowers, look nice or do you think they’re such a tiny element that they won’t make much of an difference in the room where we’ll be having our reception?


Our reception room / Photo by Miss Mink

Before you became a bride, did you notice the little details at weddings?


Mrs. Mink

Charlottesville, Virginia
Wedding Date:
June 2012
Walk the Line: Our First Look
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  1. eagle Member
    eagle 1552 posts, Bumble bee @ 10:10 am

    Not at all! (This may be because of the open bars….) I usually notice things like if the flowers are real vs fake, and if the bride and groom look happy. That’s it. Well… before I got engaged. Now I feel like judgey mcjudgerson at weddings.

    I think that color match is pretty darn close, Miss Mink!

  2. mink Member
    mink 2178 posts, Buzzing bee @ 10:15 am

    @eagle: Amazing, everyone at our table noticed the chargers. They were definitely rented and were also in one of the wedding colors. Our table was mostly older folks, though. One retired academic pulled out his smart phone to scan the bar code on the chargers, thinking he’d figure out where to buy them. The bar code was probably an inventory tag put on the by the rental company, though. His little app didn’t return anything. :)

  3. Member
    MeganTacky2247 922 posts, Busy bee @ 10:15 am

    I like colored napkins personally. I think its a nice touch.
    Before planning, I think I noticed a bit, but not everything. Im a pretty detailed person in general. But after planning, I pay even MORE attention.
    Its refreshing to see that a GROOM noticed the color of the napkins. :)

  4. Member
    Verita 132 posts, Blushing bee @ 10:18 am

    I am one of the people that notices little details, even before the wedding process! I think you should go for it and get the napkins in your color. I know I am. To me it just adds the perfect touch to the table.

  5. Member
    bRooklynRocks 4048 posts, Honey bee @ 10:18 am

    Nope, I hardly noticed anything before I got married. BUT, a handful of folks came up to me at my wedding and mentioned the gocco’ed napkins that I had filled with fun facts, some mentioned the ‘Thank you parasols’ or the drink flags in our colors. They also mentioned a few other details. Granted, most of the folks who noticed were female but still, some of the guys did come up to DH to tell him too. However, honestly speaking, I wouldn’t have paid extra for the napkins, only because I don’t care about napkins. Trust me, I spent a lot of money on flowers. The amount I spent on a peony bouquet in July makes me cringe a little but you only live once and if you can afford it, why not :)

  6. Member
    MaggieL 494 posts, Helper bee @ 10:20 am

    I think adding a little pop of color to that room would look gorgeous! It doesn’t need to much, but a little blue that ties everything together would look amazing.

  7. Member
    Paper Rose 251 posts, Helper bee @ 10:25 am

    If I were you I would buy them just because Mr. Mink wants them. I know that my fiancé would smile when he saw them and be very proud that he helped. There are so few details that he notices, I jump on the things that he does!

  8. Member
    vanbride 25 posts, Newbee @ 10:27 am

    I have some extra paper napkins in various colors through my work. I have one that is very close to your color if you’d like me to send you some if you’re okay with paper napkins so you can save the cost if you’re not sure if that expense. And yes, I notice EVERY detail, but I’m a very detail-oriented person. I pay attention to all the little things like color-coordination, the cake, the personal touches, etc. And it’s worse now that I’m engaged! But I don’t think a lot of people do notice… but that doesn’t mean that I’m not pouring a TON of details into my own wedding! :)

  9. Member
    Lexy 404 posts, Helper bee @ 10:27 am

    Here’s how I feel about the little details, if they are there people might notice them (of course some won’t, my Mr. had never realized that he’s received a favor at EVERY WEDDING HE’S EVER BEEN TO… good heck). But if they aren’t no one is going to say “You know Miss Mink’s wedding would have been so much better if the napkins had matched the bridesmaids dresses”

    So, it will be lovely either way. But I think a perfect match like that is hard to resist… HIT CONFIRM!

  10. Member
    lisaelanna 530 posts, Busy bee @ 10:30 am

    I think that the details definitely add to the overall experience. Even if guests don’t pick up on every single special detail, they will notice (even if subconsciously) the overall – the details really add up and a wedding devoid of special details will feel empty compared to one where a lot of thought and love went into everything, (even if a lot of money did’nt go into it). But maybe that’s just my opinion…

  11. Member
    newfiebullet 2162 posts, Buzzing bee @ 10:32 am

    I think it would be nice! I’m not too interested in the small details myself either, but I was thinking about getting drink napkins in my colour.

  12. Member
    christyhal 54 posts, Worker bee @ 10:33 am

    I would absolutely go for it if it’s in your budget. I think it’s a nice touch, and a way to bring everything together, color-wise. (Of course, I may be biased…we had blue napkins at our wedding…)

  13. Guest Icon Guest
    Erica, Guest @ 10:34 am

    I guess the question is – even if you notice them, do you care? I’m much more likely to notice details that scream “wow, this is SO x couple” then “oh good, the rental place had napkins that matched.”

    Sure, is it a nice design tough? Yes. Does it really matter/is it worth the money? No.

    It’s a wedding, not an interior decorating showcase.

  14. eagle Member
    eagle 1552 posts, Bumble bee @ 10:34 am

    @Miss Mink: My god thats intense! Old Academics are my favourite people in the whole world. All of the ones in my Department have iPads and iPhones, too, and they are so cute when they are tapping away on them. I love old people, haha.

    And that reminds me I need to think about chargers!

  15. Member
    jpalm13 2957 posts, Sugar bee @ 10:39 am

    I wouldn’t worry about it so much, but that’s me. If you haven’t chosen a favor (if you’re doing them at all), I would look at adding that pop of color to the table that way. What would you do with the napkins after if you can’t sell them?

  16. mink Member
    mink 2178 posts, Buzzing bee @ 10:40 am

    @vanbride: Oh my gosh, you are so sweet! If we don’t get them, we’ll just use the standard linens at the venue. everything in their package coordinates.

    @Lexy: Ba ha ha! You’re right! At least, I hope you’re right!

  17. Member
    Irish_in_Oxford 104 posts, Blushing bee @ 10:46 am

    About four months after attending the wedding of two friends, I had a conversation with them, where they discussed what a lovely job their florist had done with the bride’s bouquet. It struck me that I had absolutely NO idea what her bouquet looked like – but I did remember how lovely she looked as she walked up the aisle, and how happy they seemed. I took it as a good lesson for my own wedding planning. On the other hand Miss Mink, those napkins are such a brilliant match, and the colour is so fabulous, that I don’t think you can go wrong. But having seen the pics of you in your fabulous dress yesterday however, I can’t imagine the napkins will be at the forefront of any guests minds – they will only be looking at you (and the Mr.!).

  18. mink Member
    mink 2178 posts, Buzzing bee @ 10:48 am

    @MeganTacky2247: I was pretty stunned that Mr. Mink noticed, too! I’m usually the fabric/paint/color freak and he’s more of the taste/sound/feel freak (if that makes sense…I’m the more visual one). He got a brownie point for his comment!

    @Verita: @MaggieL:@christyhal: I had a feeling I’d get support on this one here! :)

    @bRooklynRocks: You had me at Gocco! I luff you! You are amazing!

    @Paper Rose: Such a good point. He doesn’t always notice the details, so maybe I need to make sure this one happens.

    @lisaelanna: Good point. They’d definitely add to the overall feel.

    @Erica: Ah, but here’s the thing. I’m a design blogger. Some people have made comments about how they can’t wait to see the decor scheme I put together. They seem to think it is an interior design showcase! I’d love to go overboard, but because I love design, I knew I had to reign myself in…which is why I didn’t go down the linen rabbit hole previously.

    I talked briefly with a wedding planner in town about my decor and she got me so excited that I actually considered renting linens from Atlanta! As soon as I said it out loud to Mr. Mink, I realize that the design blogger needed to take a step back and not go too, too over the top.

    @jpalm13: I don’t know! I am pretty darn good at selling stuff on the Craiger, though. :)

  19. mink Member
    mink 2178 posts, Buzzing bee @ 10:51 am

    @Irish_in_Oxford: Um, I think you are my favorite person in the whole wide world right now with that comment! You are so nice!

    If I hadn’t won that dress, I don’t think we’d be even considering spending $150 on napkins when the venue has standard ones…but I feel like the match is a sign!

  20. Member
    leebaby711 362 posts, Helper bee @ 10:54 am

    I think if you want the napkins go for it! I got married in August, and while a lot of my guests commented on the decorations the day of the wedding or shortly after- I don’t think guests remember details long-term, unless it’s a bride planning her wedding.

    Even as a recent bride, I just went to a wedding a few weeks ago, and I remember liking the decor but I really have no idea what it looked like now. lol but I remembered I had a blast and the dessert table was my friend at the end of the night.

    You’ll remember the details forever, not everyone else, so if you want the napkins- get the napkins!

  21. Member
    phoenixandstars 565 posts, Busy bee @ 11:07 am

    Do it! I think it’s so fun that you were able to match it up almost perfect and what a pop it will give to the table scheme.

  22. Member
    FootballGirl 54 posts, Worker bee @ 11:34 am

    I think it is beautiful to do. If you are hesitant to put out the money, only to have the napkins left with you after, consider finding someone who might have a match colour for rental. Or order cocktail napkins that are personalized to keep at the bar and cake/dessert table (one option is http://www.weddingstar.com). Good Luck

  23. Member
    Succulent 6 posts, Newbee @ 11:37 am

    I say go with the Napkins! It’s such a small cost, and you can always resell them.

    For my wedding, our venue is already pretty decorated. There isn’t much I can do that wouldn’t clash or make the place too “busy”. Because of this, I am focused on making the tables stand out as our own. All the guests hang out around the tables, and the tables will be in so many of the candid photo shots. Therefore, I’ve made it a priority that they look great. For you, I think having the napkins are a inexpensive way of adding some color and making the tables your own.

    We’re actually doing the opposite. The venue has standard white or black napkins and white tablecloths. I haven’t finalized anything because I am still picking my dress, but my plan is to swap all the table cloths for a color, probably carnation pink, and keep the napkins black to give some contrast and balance. This will also match nicely because I want to put my bridesmaids in black. Further, Mr. Succulent likes this idea because he wants one of our colors to be a strong base, like grey or black.

    Good luck. Can’t believe you matched your bridesmaid dresses so easily. I hope you find that last dress you need.

  24. mink Member
    mink 2178 posts, Buzzing bee @ 11:39 am

    @FootballGirl: It’s not about the money. It’s about consumption for me.

  25. Member
    daybyday 2637 posts, Sugar bee @ 11:44 am

    I know that I personally wouldn’t notice or care.

  26. mspony Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 12:43 pm

    I totally became obsessed with napkins before our wedding. I really wanted them to be in our wedding colors, but I don’t think anyone (myself included) really noticed them the day of. Oh well.

  27. Member
    MrsElopement 3033 posts, Sugar bee @ 12:45 pm

    I think the thing is if it’s not there no one will notice, but if it is people will notice and think it’s a nice touch.

  28. kettle Member
    kettle 926 posts, Busy bee @ 6:16 pm

    It’s the little details tat really make the day special for you. If it’s in your budget and he wants it, go for it!
    Be thankful for those moments where he truly has an opinion about a wedding detail.

  29. Member
    Caizn 734 posts, Busy bee @ 7:44 pm

    Do it! You can always use them for holiday parties and get togethers! I know I would definitely notice them!

  30. msfox Member
    msfox 1635 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:14 am

    Pre-engagement, I think I loved all the little details but never really *noticed* them too much, but now? I love looking at literally everything!! As for the napkins, I think you should go for it – if it’s in the budget and not too much hassle, what’s the harm? Plus, it’s a gorgeous shade of blue that you can definitely either resell or use again!

  31. Member
    TinyTina 3312 posts, Sugar bee @ 9:42 am

    Honestly, I never notice a damn thing at weddings. But the fact that your FI noticed/wants them at the wedding and that perfect match you found?? I think you need to go for it!

  32. Member
    kimberlee10 206 posts, Helper bee @ 4:43 pm

    What about cocktail napkins? Or making napkin rings or bands in the right color? I think the matching is nice, but you have to decide what you want to spend money on.

    PartyCity sells megapacks of lime green napkins that are the perfect shade for our wedding. Everything else at the venue is black and white.

  33. Member
    dragonlover 578 posts, Busy bee @ 11:57 am

    I’ve only been to two weddings in recent years, and I have to say I remember very few of the details from either.

    One I was a bridesmaid, and besides feeling more concerned the bride was enjoying herself.

    The other one.. The food was great. FH and I thought the whole spectable of watching waters pour the Champagne was overdone, too long.. and the dramatic floor lighting too much for us although beautiful. We noticed the able name, because it was cute. We remember the music being too loud for us two non-clubbers.

    Otherwise? Both were beautiful and fun. Details not so much.

  34. Member
    Future Army Wife 2213 posts, Buzzing bee @ 3:48 pm

    I think that shade of blue would be a nice accent color against all the white. And if you’re going to do accent colors, might as well have it perfectly match something else. I think it might stand out if the colors didn’t match.

  35. Member
    MrsKeAloha 1044 posts, Bumble bee @ 8:28 pm

    I’m with Miss Eagle -I always watched the couple, I love to see how they interacted and smiled with guests and each other. I noticed details but didn’t pay much attention. And for this reason I don’t plan to get too stressed over things. Although Napkins and Linens have been my “Crazy undecided” factor Still and Again! Oh the dreaded linens.

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